Unspoken (6/8)
Jul. 30th, 2017 08:07 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
learashiPairing: Juntoshi
Genre: Romance, angst
Rating: PG to NC-17
Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Arashi or its members – this is a work of fiction.
Summary: Satoshi wanted to grab Jun and kiss him senseless, but could sense just how fragile he was so instead he walked over and carefully wrapped his good arm lightly around Jun’s waist.
Previously: CH 1, CH 2, CH 3, CH 4, CH 5
“I know most people bring fruit when they visit people in hospital, but I figured that you might like these better,” Nino said as he placed down a container full of cupcakes on the table over the end of Jun’s hospital bed. “Or at least you will be very popular with the staff.”
Jun smiled as he opened the lid and saw the smiley faces piped on top of each one. “Aiba-san?” he asked as he poked the shaky looking decorations with the tip of his finger.
“He wanted to help,” Nino replied with a laugh as he took a seat on the edge of the bed.
“Thank you and please thank him for me too,” Jun said, wincing slightly as he pulled himself more upright.
“Ohno-san said that he won't be able to visit you today. He has something important to do.”
Jun blinked and looked away, unable to hide the hurt that Nino’s words caused.
Nino immediately realized his mistake. “I didn't mean that he thinks you're not important,” he said softly. “Surely you know just how much you mean to him?”
“That's just it Nino; I’m not sure. What if he wants me to go? Now that Father is dead there's no reason for me to stay here any longer.”
“There is a whole village full of people who will strongly disagree with that statement, “ Nino said gruffly as he handed one of the cakes to Jun and took one for himself. “Promise me that you'll talk to Ohno-san before you do anything.”
Jun nodded and picked absently at the icing on his cake, wondering why Satoshi seemed to be distancing himself from him already.
++++
“The nurses told me that you haven't eaten anything at all today,” Toma chided Jun as he checked his stitches. “Satoshi will be cross with me for not looking after you properly.”
“Satoshi…” Jun began crossly.
“Is right here,” Satoshi said, popping his head around the door. “And I brought some visitors with me,” he added, gesturing behind him.
A middle-aged woman with sad eyes and a pretty girl who had the same huge eyes as Jun, stepped hesitantly through the door, their eyes lighting up when they saw him lying in the bed.
“Mother! Erika!” Jun could hardly believe his eyes as the pair rushed over to embrace him, laughing and crying at the same time. He looked at Ohno, unable to believe that he had fetched them to come and see him.
Ohno nodded in a satisfied way and quietly backed out of the room, taking Toma with him.
++++
Satoshi knew that by bringing Jun’s family to see him he might hasten Jun’s departure, but it was worth it to see the look of sheer joy on his face as his mother hugged him and his sister took his hand.
For the last three days he’d stayed away from the hospital, allowing Jun to spend as much time with his family as he could. He had been more lonely than he’d ever imagined possible, but if Jun was happy then he was happy too.
He placed another log on the fire and went to make himself a coffee, enjoying the peaceful atmosphere of the coffee shop after opening hours.
“May I have one too?”
Satoshi almost dropped the mug he was holding as Jun slowly walked into the room, supported by Toma who helped him over to his favourite chair near to the fire.
After settling Jun in comfortably Toma headed back to where Satoshi was struggling one-handedly trying to make the coffee.
“Let me do this while you go and keep Jun-kun company,” Toma said, as he took the mug from Satoshi’s hand and nudged him towards Jun.
Jun was looking pale, but his eyes were clear and sparkling as he looked up at Satoshi who took his hand and squeezed it before taking up his favourite position in the chair beside him.
“I'm home,” Jun said softly, gazing into the flames that reflected in his eyes. “If you don't mind, that is,” he added hesitantly.
“Welcome home,” Satoshi said, rubbing his fingers along the soft skin of Jun’s wrist. “Of course I don't mind. You will always be welcome here.”
There were so many more things that wanted to say, but Jun was obviously tired and still in some pain. He needed to know one thing however. “Your sister and mother?”
“They've gone. They’re planning a long holiday together and maybe they won't even come back. I think that's what they need,” Jun said with a touch of sadness. “They asked me to come too…”
Toma cleared his throat loudly to warn them of his presence and placed a mug in front of each of them. “I've made myself one to take with me. Jun-kun don't forget to take your pain medication and Satoshi keep that arm in the sling. I'll be back in the morning to check on Jun and in the meantime I think you two should go to bed.” He blushed as he realized how his words sounded, but didn't say anything else; in his opinion these two belonged together and the sooner they both acknowledged it the better.
After Toma’s hasty departure Satoshi took a nervous sip of his coffee before asking, “When will you be leaving?”
Jun looked confused and hurt. “Leaving?”
“With your family?” Satoshi could hardly get the words out.
Jun looked at him with huge eyes, “I'm not. I wished them luck, but I told them that I was perfectly happy right here, with you.” Jun blinked nervously, rising from his seat and hastily added, “And with the other friends that I've made here too.”
Satoshi wanted to grab Jun and kiss him senseless, but could sense just how fragile he was so instead he walked over and carefully wrapped his good arm lightly around Jun’s waist. Jun turned and pressed himself against Satoshi’s solid body as if seeking comfort. He buried his face in Satoshi’s shoulder and wrapped his arms around his waist in return.
Jun nuzzled Satoshi’s neck and pressed a feather light kiss on the underside of his jaw, breathing in his comforting scent. When their lips met, their kisses were slow and gentle, light touches of their lips as their bodies slotted comfortably together.
Satoshi felt Jun’s tired sway against him and held him tighter. “You should sleep now. I'll help you up to bed.”
Jun nodded meekly and allowed himself to be guided up the stairs. Nothing had been said between them but they both felt a new sense of connection that had been absent before.
++++
The snow receded and Jun’s strength gradually returned as spring arrived in the mountains. The air was filled with a fresh scent and the trees sprouted tender bright green shoots.
Jun still saw a therapist infrequently; his suppressed memories now all fully returned. His information and led to the arrest of several more suspects and he had bravely testified in court. Each time he would hurry home to the safety and comfort of Satoshi’s arms. Their relationship continued at the same pace; gentle kisses and peaceful times spent together. The subject of sex had never been discussed and as much as Satoshi longed to make love to Jun he waited patiently for the younger man to indicate that he was ready. The knowledge that it would be Jun’s first time made Satoshi even more cautious; he wanted it to be perfectly sure that it was love and not gratitude that drew Jun to offer him his body.
++++
Jun knew that Satoshi was working hard in his studio, coming upstairs each night with tired eyes and covered with paint smudges. He couldn’t help being curious as to what he was painting and when Satoshi had to go into town to pick up more paint he seized the opportunity to sneak a look.
As he opened the door a crack and peeked inside he couldn’t believe his eyes. There were at least a dozen paintings stacked around the walls, covered with dust covers. He tiptoed over to the first one, not even sure why he was sneaking when he was alone, and pulled the cover back only to be confronted by his own face.
At least it looked like him, but only better. He knew he couldn’t possibly look as good as Satoshi had portrayed him. He removed the covers from the rest of paintings one by one and realised that they were all portraits of him, sometimes alone and other times with Satoshi. He knew that he should feel embarrassed or creeped out by the idea of Satoshi obsessively painting him over and over again, but he didn’t. He could feel Satoshi’s unspoken emotions that were conveyed with every brush stroke. When you looked at the paintings in order they told the story of their first meeting in the snow, and marked things that Satoshi felt were important in their lives together since then. Each painting was a love letter with no words.
The last painting in the series was still on the easel, unfinished as if the artist couldn’t decide what the final outcome would be. Jun was shown walking down long road and instead of portraying the artist alongside him as the other paintings had done; it showed him standing some way behind with his arms outstretched as if he was being left behind. It conveyed a sense of insecurity and hesitation about their future and a fear of abandonment, and looking at it made Jun realise that the other man’s feelings were clear and it was time for him to let the older man know what he felt in return.
++++
Over the past few months neither of them had spoken of their feelings, instead living and working happily alongside each other; never discussing the possibility that now Jun was safe he might wish to resume his studies or return to his old home that now stood empty, cleared of all of the evil that had inhabited it while his father lived. Rather they chose to live in a bubble where real life couldn’t intrude. He was still sleeping in Satoshi’s bed as he had when he was so ill, but now Satoshi was sharing it with him. They had never spoken of this, it had just happened naturally without needing to be discussed. Like so many other things between them no words were needed.
They both slept chastely on either side with a pillow in the middle of the bed separating them until the night after Jun looked at the paintings. Satoshi was already in bed when Jun walked in wearing only a large bath towel which he let slowly slip to the floor. In the last few months his body had filled out. His waist was still slim but he had gained muscle across his chest and shoulders, a by-product of all the wood chopping he had been doing to keep the fireplaces in the coffee shop going.
"May I join you?" Jun asked softly. "I want to be close to you tonight."
“Are you sure about this?” Satoshi asked in return, gazing at Jun’s beautiful body, unable to believe that he was freely offering himself to him.
“Yes, there’s nothing I want more than this,” Jun replied sliding into Satoshi’s side of the bed.
“Before things go any further I have a confession to make. Well two actually,” he continued, making Satoshi’s heart feel as if it was going to beat its way out of his chest, “I looked in your studio and saw the paintings.”
Satoshi could feel embarrassment burning his cheeks. What would Jun think of him now?
“And I want to tell that you that I love you too and I want you to make love to me tonight.” Jun finished, also blushing deeply.
“What do you want with an old man like me?” Satoshi replied, stunned by the way that Jun had been able to interpret the meaning of his paintings so easily and understand the depth of his feelings so clearly.
“You aren’t old,” Jun said with a playful cuff to his head. “I’ve never met anyone as kind or as special as you. When I thought my life was over you gave me hope. I was scared that you would reject me because I’m too young, but when I saw those paintings I knew that you loved me just as much as I love you.”
Satoshi sat up and pulled Jun into a sitting position beside him so that he could look searchingly into his eyes, hardly believing what he was hearing. The truth that he saw there made his heart swell with happiness.
With a heart that felt as if it was about to beat its way out of his chest, Satoshi leaned towards Jun and took his hand, kissing each of the long delicate fingers in turn. He was determined to make this a night that Jun would never forget.
Note: And so in the next chapter we finally get to the smutty part. Sorry it took so long, but I think you will agree that they had quite a few challenges to face before they could comfortably reach this point together. Thanks for sticking with me this far 💜
Genre: Romance, angst
Rating: PG to NC-17
Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Arashi or its members – this is a work of fiction.
Summary: Satoshi wanted to grab Jun and kiss him senseless, but could sense just how fragile he was so instead he walked over and carefully wrapped his good arm lightly around Jun’s waist.
Previously: CH 1, CH 2, CH 3, CH 4, CH 5
“I know most people bring fruit when they visit people in hospital, but I figured that you might like these better,” Nino said as he placed down a container full of cupcakes on the table over the end of Jun’s hospital bed. “Or at least you will be very popular with the staff.”
Jun smiled as he opened the lid and saw the smiley faces piped on top of each one. “Aiba-san?” he asked as he poked the shaky looking decorations with the tip of his finger.
“He wanted to help,” Nino replied with a laugh as he took a seat on the edge of the bed.
“Thank you and please thank him for me too,” Jun said, wincing slightly as he pulled himself more upright.
“Ohno-san said that he won't be able to visit you today. He has something important to do.”
Jun blinked and looked away, unable to hide the hurt that Nino’s words caused.
Nino immediately realized his mistake. “I didn't mean that he thinks you're not important,” he said softly. “Surely you know just how much you mean to him?”
“That's just it Nino; I’m not sure. What if he wants me to go? Now that Father is dead there's no reason for me to stay here any longer.”
“There is a whole village full of people who will strongly disagree with that statement, “ Nino said gruffly as he handed one of the cakes to Jun and took one for himself. “Promise me that you'll talk to Ohno-san before you do anything.”
Jun nodded and picked absently at the icing on his cake, wondering why Satoshi seemed to be distancing himself from him already.
++++
“The nurses told me that you haven't eaten anything at all today,” Toma chided Jun as he checked his stitches. “Satoshi will be cross with me for not looking after you properly.”
“Satoshi…” Jun began crossly.
“Is right here,” Satoshi said, popping his head around the door. “And I brought some visitors with me,” he added, gesturing behind him.
A middle-aged woman with sad eyes and a pretty girl who had the same huge eyes as Jun, stepped hesitantly through the door, their eyes lighting up when they saw him lying in the bed.
“Mother! Erika!” Jun could hardly believe his eyes as the pair rushed over to embrace him, laughing and crying at the same time. He looked at Ohno, unable to believe that he had fetched them to come and see him.
Ohno nodded in a satisfied way and quietly backed out of the room, taking Toma with him.
++++
Satoshi knew that by bringing Jun’s family to see him he might hasten Jun’s departure, but it was worth it to see the look of sheer joy on his face as his mother hugged him and his sister took his hand.
For the last three days he’d stayed away from the hospital, allowing Jun to spend as much time with his family as he could. He had been more lonely than he’d ever imagined possible, but if Jun was happy then he was happy too.
He placed another log on the fire and went to make himself a coffee, enjoying the peaceful atmosphere of the coffee shop after opening hours.
“May I have one too?”
Satoshi almost dropped the mug he was holding as Jun slowly walked into the room, supported by Toma who helped him over to his favourite chair near to the fire.
After settling Jun in comfortably Toma headed back to where Satoshi was struggling one-handedly trying to make the coffee.
“Let me do this while you go and keep Jun-kun company,” Toma said, as he took the mug from Satoshi’s hand and nudged him towards Jun.
Jun was looking pale, but his eyes were clear and sparkling as he looked up at Satoshi who took his hand and squeezed it before taking up his favourite position in the chair beside him.
“I'm home,” Jun said softly, gazing into the flames that reflected in his eyes. “If you don't mind, that is,” he added hesitantly.
“Welcome home,” Satoshi said, rubbing his fingers along the soft skin of Jun’s wrist. “Of course I don't mind. You will always be welcome here.”
There were so many more things that wanted to say, but Jun was obviously tired and still in some pain. He needed to know one thing however. “Your sister and mother?”
“They've gone. They’re planning a long holiday together and maybe they won't even come back. I think that's what they need,” Jun said with a touch of sadness. “They asked me to come too…”
Toma cleared his throat loudly to warn them of his presence and placed a mug in front of each of them. “I've made myself one to take with me. Jun-kun don't forget to take your pain medication and Satoshi keep that arm in the sling. I'll be back in the morning to check on Jun and in the meantime I think you two should go to bed.” He blushed as he realized how his words sounded, but didn't say anything else; in his opinion these two belonged together and the sooner they both acknowledged it the better.
After Toma’s hasty departure Satoshi took a nervous sip of his coffee before asking, “When will you be leaving?”
Jun looked confused and hurt. “Leaving?”
“With your family?” Satoshi could hardly get the words out.
Jun looked at him with huge eyes, “I'm not. I wished them luck, but I told them that I was perfectly happy right here, with you.” Jun blinked nervously, rising from his seat and hastily added, “And with the other friends that I've made here too.”
Satoshi wanted to grab Jun and kiss him senseless, but could sense just how fragile he was so instead he walked over and carefully wrapped his good arm lightly around Jun’s waist. Jun turned and pressed himself against Satoshi’s solid body as if seeking comfort. He buried his face in Satoshi’s shoulder and wrapped his arms around his waist in return.
Jun nuzzled Satoshi’s neck and pressed a feather light kiss on the underside of his jaw, breathing in his comforting scent. When their lips met, their kisses were slow and gentle, light touches of their lips as their bodies slotted comfortably together.
Satoshi felt Jun’s tired sway against him and held him tighter. “You should sleep now. I'll help you up to bed.”
Jun nodded meekly and allowed himself to be guided up the stairs. Nothing had been said between them but they both felt a new sense of connection that had been absent before.
++++
The snow receded and Jun’s strength gradually returned as spring arrived in the mountains. The air was filled with a fresh scent and the trees sprouted tender bright green shoots.
Jun still saw a therapist infrequently; his suppressed memories now all fully returned. His information and led to the arrest of several more suspects and he had bravely testified in court. Each time he would hurry home to the safety and comfort of Satoshi’s arms. Their relationship continued at the same pace; gentle kisses and peaceful times spent together. The subject of sex had never been discussed and as much as Satoshi longed to make love to Jun he waited patiently for the younger man to indicate that he was ready. The knowledge that it would be Jun’s first time made Satoshi even more cautious; he wanted it to be perfectly sure that it was love and not gratitude that drew Jun to offer him his body.
++++
Jun knew that Satoshi was working hard in his studio, coming upstairs each night with tired eyes and covered with paint smudges. He couldn’t help being curious as to what he was painting and when Satoshi had to go into town to pick up more paint he seized the opportunity to sneak a look.
As he opened the door a crack and peeked inside he couldn’t believe his eyes. There were at least a dozen paintings stacked around the walls, covered with dust covers. He tiptoed over to the first one, not even sure why he was sneaking when he was alone, and pulled the cover back only to be confronted by his own face.
At least it looked like him, but only better. He knew he couldn’t possibly look as good as Satoshi had portrayed him. He removed the covers from the rest of paintings one by one and realised that they were all portraits of him, sometimes alone and other times with Satoshi. He knew that he should feel embarrassed or creeped out by the idea of Satoshi obsessively painting him over and over again, but he didn’t. He could feel Satoshi’s unspoken emotions that were conveyed with every brush stroke. When you looked at the paintings in order they told the story of their first meeting in the snow, and marked things that Satoshi felt were important in their lives together since then. Each painting was a love letter with no words.
The last painting in the series was still on the easel, unfinished as if the artist couldn’t decide what the final outcome would be. Jun was shown walking down long road and instead of portraying the artist alongside him as the other paintings had done; it showed him standing some way behind with his arms outstretched as if he was being left behind. It conveyed a sense of insecurity and hesitation about their future and a fear of abandonment, and looking at it made Jun realise that the other man’s feelings were clear and it was time for him to let the older man know what he felt in return.
++++
Over the past few months neither of them had spoken of their feelings, instead living and working happily alongside each other; never discussing the possibility that now Jun was safe he might wish to resume his studies or return to his old home that now stood empty, cleared of all of the evil that had inhabited it while his father lived. Rather they chose to live in a bubble where real life couldn’t intrude. He was still sleeping in Satoshi’s bed as he had when he was so ill, but now Satoshi was sharing it with him. They had never spoken of this, it had just happened naturally without needing to be discussed. Like so many other things between them no words were needed.
They both slept chastely on either side with a pillow in the middle of the bed separating them until the night after Jun looked at the paintings. Satoshi was already in bed when Jun walked in wearing only a large bath towel which he let slowly slip to the floor. In the last few months his body had filled out. His waist was still slim but he had gained muscle across his chest and shoulders, a by-product of all the wood chopping he had been doing to keep the fireplaces in the coffee shop going.
"May I join you?" Jun asked softly. "I want to be close to you tonight."
“Are you sure about this?” Satoshi asked in return, gazing at Jun’s beautiful body, unable to believe that he was freely offering himself to him.
“Yes, there’s nothing I want more than this,” Jun replied sliding into Satoshi’s side of the bed.
“Before things go any further I have a confession to make. Well two actually,” he continued, making Satoshi’s heart feel as if it was going to beat its way out of his chest, “I looked in your studio and saw the paintings.”
Satoshi could feel embarrassment burning his cheeks. What would Jun think of him now?
“And I want to tell that you that I love you too and I want you to make love to me tonight.” Jun finished, also blushing deeply.
“What do you want with an old man like me?” Satoshi replied, stunned by the way that Jun had been able to interpret the meaning of his paintings so easily and understand the depth of his feelings so clearly.
“You aren’t old,” Jun said with a playful cuff to his head. “I’ve never met anyone as kind or as special as you. When I thought my life was over you gave me hope. I was scared that you would reject me because I’m too young, but when I saw those paintings I knew that you loved me just as much as I love you.”
Satoshi sat up and pulled Jun into a sitting position beside him so that he could look searchingly into his eyes, hardly believing what he was hearing. The truth that he saw there made his heart swell with happiness.
With a heart that felt as if it was about to beat its way out of his chest, Satoshi leaned towards Jun and took his hand, kissing each of the long delicate fingers in turn. He was determined to make this a night that Jun would never forget.
Note: And so in the next chapter we finally get to the smutty part. Sorry it took so long, but I think you will agree that they had quite a few challenges to face before they could comfortably reach this point together. Thanks for sticking with me this far 💜
no subject
Date: 2017-07-30 06:28 am (UTC)I'll be waiting for the next chapter! Thanks for sharing with us, dear! <3
no subject
Date: 2017-07-30 06:41 am (UTC)They know each other so well and yet are still worried about revealing their feelings, which is silly but cute.
*hugs*
no subject
Date: 2017-07-30 07:26 am (UTC)I love the calmness and the-no-words-needed atmosphere around Juntoshi, how they cherish each other and bascially live in this quiet, yet comforting place. I think it's what Jun needs. Ohno is what he needs. I'm relieved Jun saw Ohno's pictures and read them correctly (and saw Ohno's insecurities), and realized he needs to make the next step too, and tell Ohno his feelings ♥ He is so strong *feelingproud*
Thanks so much for this update!! <3
no subject
Date: 2017-07-30 08:26 am (UTC)Ohno is so solid and reliable. No matter what Jun chose he would have still supported him, even if his heart was breaking.
Jun is so much stronger now. I think that since father died he has finally found peace.
And so we come to the love making next time.
I hope that I can do it full justice. It needs to be special. But possibly also quite awkward as most first times are.
*hugs*
no subject
Date: 2017-07-30 11:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-07-31 12:16 am (UTC)Thanks for reading.
no subject
Date: 2017-07-30 11:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-07-31 12:17 am (UTC)Thanks for reading <3
no subject
Date: 2017-07-31 03:46 am (UTC)I'm glad that Jun was able to meet his mother and his sister again but
the best part was.....
He didn't choose to go with them and stayed by Satoshi's side!!! <3
At least that despite of Jun's doubts and fears, he was able to stand for
his feelings towards Satoshi and was eventually able to let them out!
The paintings might appear creepy if we never had any knowledge of
how things are going on between the two of them but knowing that both
are just afraid, the paintings were able to express everything especially
on Satoshi's side. I'm glad that Jun was able to find them and the strength
to tell everything to Satoshi. This is so waaaaaaarm and I love the unspoken
connection they've established and how they nurtured it after all those horrible
things that happened to them. Juntoshi cuddles are like heaven to me but
of course *wriggles eyebrows ... the smutty part.. I can't wait! Hahahahahh
Thaaaaaaaaaank youuuuuuuuu dear!!!! <3
no subject
Date: 2017-07-31 04:13 am (UTC)I'm sure that Satoshi was really worried that Jun would freak out when he saw the paintings, but Jun recognized the fact that they were saying all the things that Satoshi found so difficult to verbalize.
As for the smutty part. I am writing it right now and it is kind of...difficult and awkward to write. Which I guess is perfect really because that's usually how first time sex ends up for most people. :)
no subject
Date: 2017-07-31 03:55 pm (UTC)lols kidding, of course I'll be waiting for the next part for that, since this chapter is specifically for the built up of their upcoming 'mating'
That pretty sneaky of Jun to go to Satoshi's painting room without Satoshi's knowledge but it's a good decision since it made Jun realizes that they love each other.
And how thoughtful Satoshi is for bringing Jun's mother and sister to see him. The meeting helps Jun too.
This is a nice chapter to read especially to see how Juntoshi came together and will be one soon. And so I'll wait... XD
no subject
Date: 2017-08-01 12:25 am (UTC)I guess Jun has never actually seen any of Satoshi's paintings and thought that it would give him more of an insight into what he was feeling.
Satoshi was willing to bring Jun's family and make him happy even when there was a chance of losing Jun to them, so that was pretty brave.
Smut coming up this weekend <3
no subject
Date: 2017-08-02 05:50 pm (UTC)Thanks for sharing. 💜
no subject
Date: 2017-08-03 12:24 am (UTC)Thanks for reading dear.
no subject
Date: 2018-10-21 07:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-10-23 09:13 am (UTC)