learashi: (Juntoshi)
[personal profile] learashi
Pairing: Juntoshi

Genre: Romance, angst

Rating: PG to NC-17

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Arashi or its members – this is a work of fiction.

Summary: He was sure about the fact that he was deeply in love, but unsure of the response of the object of his affections.

Previously: CH 1

It took a full two weeks for Jun to be well enough to climb out of bed on wobbly legs that could barely support his slight weight and sit in the comfortable armchair that Satoshi had thoughtfully placed within easy reach under the bedroom window.

Satoshi had cared for him over this time, gradually learning more about his guest as they talked quietly together during the brief periods when Jun was awake.

He had handed over the day-to-day running of his business to his staff so that he could care for Jun. They were used to being left alone while he was on one of his painting binges and thought nothing of it.

Nobody else was aware of Jun’s presence except for Toma and Satoshi wondered to himself why he was so reluctant reveal his presence to others. Even though the official reason was his fear of those who had harmed Jun hunting him down, deep down he knew that it was because he was unwilling to share him with anyone else just yet.

It turned out that Jun wasn’t as bratty as he had appeared on that first night. Once his fever had broken he became a much more reasonable person and was actually quite shy.

Jun wasn’t as young as Satoshi had thought and had turned twenty at the end of August. It was his thin frame and innocent face that has mislead him. And what a face it was; Satoshi thought that he had never seen anything as beautiful. His fingers itched to be able to capture the perfect bone structure and strong features and most importantly the fleeting expressions he saw flickering across the beautifully luminous large brown eyes perfectly framed by long lashes.


"Jun, you need to eat more than that if you want to recover quickly," Satoshi said as Jun picked at the food on the tray resting on his lap. "I don't want you relapsing on me after all the effort Toma and I put in getting you this far. My back is only just recovering from carrying you through the snow." He was hoping that a little humour might pull Jun from the depression he had sunk into as he slowly recovered from his injuries.

"It would have been better for you to leave me there to die," Jun replied sadly. "I’ll only bring trouble to you; like I do to everyone I come into contact with."


"It's true. I should get out of here as soon as I can; I don't want you to suffer for helping me," Jun said in a determined tone.

"When you were delirious you cried out as if you were trying to protect someone," Satoshi replied. "Was it a family member?"

Jun still didn't want to talk in detail about his family even after Satoshi mentioned the words Jun had cried out during his fever, but Satoshi's gentle concern had worn down his resistance to sharing his problems.

"I'll tell you, but you’ll probably want to throw me out too after you hear my story," Jun replied with a scowl.

"I promise that no matter what you tell me you are welcome to stay here as long as you wish," Satoshi said as he squeezed Jun's hand encouragingly.


Jun took a deep breath and began to recount the events that had led to him ending up in the snow in the middle of the forest.

Leaning forwards and staring sightlessly ahead he began to speak in a soft monotone, "I always knew that I liked boys, right back to kindergarten. I tried not to because I knew what would happen if my father found out."

Jun paused, looking at Satoshi as if expecting disgust to be painted across his face. The look of gentle encouragement that he saw there gave him the courage to continue.

"When I turned twenty I finally plucked up the courage to tell my family that I was gay. Even though I've never even done much more than kiss anyone, I wanted them to know the real me. It turned out to be the stupidest thing I've ever done. My father went wild. He beat me down to the ground and then disowned me. My mother tried to stop him, but…"

Satoshi was tempted to intercede in case Jun became too upset but it seemed that the young man wanted to continue his painful story to the end.

Jun's voice wavered, "My father threw me out of the house and withdrew my enrolment to the art school where I was studying photography. For a while after that I slept on a friend’s couch while I tried to sort out my life. I had no money for food and could hardly sleep; my friend liked to party a lot."

Satoshi could see by the look of disdain on Jun's face that he didn't approve of his friend's nightly activities.

"I tried hard to find a job, I really did, but Father’s influence was strong and as soon as people realised who I was, they turned me away with a frightened expression, saying that they had been mistaken about needing to hire someone.

I was on the way back to my friend’s apartment late one evening after another wasted day looking for a job when I was jumped by two men. They punched me in the stomach, bound my hands and feet together and gagged me. I tried to fight them but they were too strong."

Jun's face paled as he recalled the feeling of their hard knuckles pounding into his tender flesh. "They tossed me into the boot of their car and it was so dark and so cold...I thought I was going to die."

Satoshi knelt at Jun's feet and gripped his trembling ice-cold hands between his own warm ones. "Jun, you can tell me the rest later. I'm worried that this is too much for you."

"No! I need you to know what you're getting yourself into," Jun replied, before continuing his story.

"They drove for hours, before finally stopping and dragging me out and throwing me onto the ground. They kicked me a few more times for good measure. We were in a forest, a long way from anywhere. I recognised the men as employees of Father and knowing what they did for a living I became afraid that I was going to die right there and then. But instead of killing me they untied me and told me to go away and stay away, because if Father found out that I was still alive then their lives would be forfeit as well. They were men who had known me since I was small and couldn't do what my father ordered them to. That was when I knew that as long as my father is alive I would never be able to see my mother and younger sister again."

Jun finally broke down and his body was wracked with sobs as he recounted that and Satoshi held him in his arms, gently rubbing a soothing hand over his back.

Satoshi realized that after being dumped Jun had gotten completely lost and had wandered around for at least two days in the forest before he literally stumbled over him.

By the time he had finished telling the whole story Jun was completely exhausted and had no tears left to cry. Not wanting him to relapse, Satoshi immediately made him return to bed and he sat holding his hand until he fell asleep.


The next morning when Jun woke he found Satoshi still sitting beside the bed, slumped asleep in an uncomfortable looking heap.

"Satoshi?" Jun asked softly as he touched the older man's shoulder.

"What? Are you okay?" Satoshi mumbled as he slowly sat up and tried to pry his eyes open.

"I'm fine, but you look terrible," Jun replied, reaching out to tentatively run the tip of his finger over the crease mark that had been imprinted in Satoshi's face by the crumpled linens he'd been resting on.

"I didn't want to leave you alone. You were so upset last night," Satoshi said as he stretched his stiff back.

"I was more worried about you being upset after what I told you. I can leave today if you want me to," Jun said in a dull voice.

"Why should I be upset?"

"Because of me being gay. Most people don't approve."

"Jun, you have probably been too sick to notice, but we are playing on the same team," Satoshi said with a small chuckle.


"My boyfriend and I broke up six months ago," Satoshi replied with a deep sigh. It still hurt him to remember the act of betrayal he'd walked in on.

"So you don't mind?" Jun felt a weight lifting from his shoulders for the first time in months.

"Why should I mind? Your sexual orientation is nobody's business but your own," Satoshi replied soothingly. He was amused that Jun seemed to have missed an important point. "And in case you didn't get what I just inferred let me put it in simple terms. I’m gay too."

Jun blushed, embarrassed that he had been so wrapped up in his own problems that he hadn't fully taken in what Satoshi was trying to tell him.

"But you have friends," Jun said in puzzlement.

"Of course. Being gay doesn't mean that you can't have friends."

"It does in my case."

"But now you have me and Toma too," Satoshi said.

The smile that Jun gave him in response went straight to his heart.


"So his family is actually "family"? Toma asked, using his fingers to form air quotes.

Jun was asleep upstairs while Satoshi and Toma sat in front of the cracking fire that was the centrepiece of this coffee shop deep in the woods. The business was finally closed for the night and they were able to enjoy their drinks in peace.

"I think that his father is a very scary man, and that we have to make sure that Jun doesn't fall back into his hands," Satoshi replied as he sipped his steaming mug of coffee.

"He sent two men to kill his own son, what do you think he will do to you and this place if he finds out that you are hiding him here?" Toma asked with a worried frown.

"Do you want me to throw him out? To abandon him?"

"Of course not," Toma replied indignantly. "He needs our help, but we have to be careful."

"At the moment only the two of us know that he's here, but once he is well enough to come downstairs people will start asking questions," Satoshi said. "We need to pass the word around."

The village was small and isolated and the locals liked to keep things between themselves if possible. The local police officers mostly turned a blind eye and allowed the people to work things out in their own time without too much official interference.

Satoshi's business had bought jobs and wealthy tourists to the area, increasing turnover for all of the other small business owners in the vicinity as well. The building was crafted out of local timber and fitted harmoniously into the rugged landscape perfectly. One side of the building was entirely filled with glass panels which showed off a perfect view of the nearby mountains, the other side had a shady balcony that was extremely popular in summer. It was not just a place for tourists; it was also the hub of the village with locals dropping by for good coffee and equally good gossip on a daily basis.

"I think we need to speak with Inspector Sakurai first and ask him to make sure that his men keep an eye out for any suspicious characters," Toma said. "He still owes me for delivering his twins last winter when we were snowed in."

"I don't want to cause any trouble for Jun.” Satoshi replied hesitantly.

"Since when would Sakurai-san do anything to hurt an innocent person? From what you've told me Jun is completely blameless in this and I'm sure that the Inspector would agree with us too," Toma insisted.

Satoshi was about to reply when he heard soft footsteps on the stairs leading down from his private quarters. It seemed that Jun was awake and looking for some company.


"You don't have to go," hissed Satoshi as Toma quickly shrugged on his coat.

"The sooner I speak to Sakurai-san the better it will be for all of us and I don't think your guest is ready to socialize with anyone but you just yet." Toma squashed his hat on his head and shot out the door leaving Satoshi alone with Jun who was slowly walking around the room his eyes wide with wonder at the beauty of the space.

Jun faintly heard Satoshi mutter something about making tea, but his attention was entirely taken up by the flickering flames of the huge circular fireplace that filled the centre of the room. The walls, floor and furniture were all made of the same mellow timber that glowed dark amber by the light of the flames. He had never been anywhere as calm and peaceful as this in his entire life. The effort of walking this far made him slightly dizzy and he sank gratefully into a squat hand-carved chair placed at a comfortable distance from the fire.

"Ah, you found my favourite chair,” Satoshi chuckled as he returned with a tray of tea and some cookies.

"Oh! I'm sorry to take your chair. I'll move somewhere else," Jun exclaimed as his cheeks blushed a faint pink.

"No! Stay where you are. You look so comfortable." Satoshi was pleased to see the colour in Jun's pale cheeks; he was looking much healthier now that the bruises were fading.

As they drank their tea they lapsed into a companionable silence, watching the flames create patterns on the walls as they danced in the hearth.

Satoshi reached for his sketch pad and pencil which he kept in his pocket at all times, his hand flying across the page as he attempted to capture the beauty of Jun's features, emphasized by the soft lighting.

Jun was unaware of his close scrutiny. As he sat there his eyes darkened with the remembrance of recent events as his loneliness threatened to overwhelm him.

Satoshi sensed Jun's withdrawal and slid the book back into his pocket. He stood and moved to stoke the fire, squeezing Jun's shoulder comfortingly as he passed. Jun looked up at him with eyes made huge by sadness but he seemed to gain some strength from his touch.


Sakurai Sho was dressed in his usual jeans with a camouflage patterned jacket on top. He pulled off his red knitted cap and sat in his usual place at the counter.

"Do you even own any other clothes?" Nino, Satoshi's Assistant Manager asked sarcastically.

Nino had a sharp tongue but it was combined with an equally sharp business sense that made him invaluable to the often absent-minded Satoshi.

"I have lots of different clothes," Sho protested. "This jacket is brand new."

"Maybe, but they all look the same to me," Nino said as he plonked down a mug of coffee and a doughnut in front of the police officer.

Satoshi came down the stairs from his apartment carrying Jun's empty breakfast dishes. He almost dropped the tray when he saw Sakurai-san, the dishes saved from breaking by Nino's swift action.

After Nino disappeared into the kitchen the two men exchanged a look.

"Toma has explained your visitor's problem but I need to speak to him myself before I agree to help," Sakurai said before taking a huge bite of the doughnut.

"He's very fragile. I don't want him to be hurt," Satoshi replied.

"I have children of my own; do you really think that I would hurt someone so vulnerable?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply..." Satoshi didn't quite understand why he was feeling so overprotective of Jun.

"Toma told me that he was very ill and only just recovering and I don't want to distress him but if his father is who I think he is then he will need all the protection he can get and to do that I need to hear his story directly." Sakurai gulped down the last of his coffee and wiped the powdered sugar from his lips before looking at Satoshi as if asking his permission.

Understanding the truth of Sakurai's words Satoshi nodded and led the policeman upstairs to speak with Jun.


Jun struggled for breath, his chest rising and falling rapidly, his mouth opening and closing like a fish as he gasped for air. His cheeks were red and streaked with tears, his lower lip bleeding where he had unconsciously bitten down on it in his distress.

Satoshi attempted to hold him still but Jun pushed him away, screaming and hitting out at him wildly with shaking hands as sobs continued to wrack his entire body, his eyes wild with fear.

Footsteps could be heard rushing up the stairs a moment before Toma burst into the room, his medical bag swinging from his hand. Sakurai followed close behind, his own breathing quite rapid after his rush to fetch the doctor after Jun had reacted so badly to his probing about his father and the events leading to his abandonment in the forest.

“Jun, I’m just going to give you something to calm you down,” Toma said as he pulled a syringe from his bag. “You’ll feel much better in just a moment.”

Jun whimpered and curled himself into a tight ball in the far corner of the room, wrapping his hands protectively over his head and cringing away when Toma approached. But Toma persisted, moving slowly and calmly until he could reach Jun’s trembling arm, glaring at Satoshi who made a move to help. After the sedative was administered, Toma jerked his head in the direction of the door, indicating that the other two should leave him alone with Jun until the drug took effect.

Satoshi looked as if he was about to explode as he looked at Sakurai with a venomous glare.

“I need you two to leave right now,” Toma whispered as he took Jun carefully into his arms, holding him against his shoulder as his breathing calmed. “I’ll be down to talk to you both in a minute.”

“Let’s discuss this somewhere more private,” Sakurai said, trying to deflect Satoshi’s anger.

Satoshi nodded, his eyes glittering with repressed rage, his fists tightly balled up by his sides, but by the excited murmuring coming from the coffee shop below, Jun's presence was no longer a secret.

(no subject)

Date: 2017-07-01 05:03 am (UTC)
yumn_yumi: (Default)
From: [personal profile] yumn_yumi
It become more interesting. To seeing Jun's reaction, his life must be hard. it will be troublesome to calm down someone who have panic attack but someone like Tona is what he needed most.
I hope Satoshi will always there for him...
Looking forward for next chapter ^ - ^

(no subject)

Date: 2017-07-01 05:57 am (UTC)
antimiya88: (Default)
From: [personal profile] antimiya88
I like how this story progresses! ^^
Jun has been through many things but he had the courage to speak to Ohno! That shows sth! I like how natural things are between them!
Also Nino's comment on Sho's clothes was a great comedy bite! ;)
Thanks for the update! <3

(no subject)

Date: 2017-07-01 07:48 am (UTC)
lilly0: (Default)
From: [personal profile] lilly0
My poor baby! :-( What a horrible story. I mean, first of all being disowned and all for being gay, and being thrown out. And not able to continue college. But to have his father send his man to kill his own son! OMG OO I hope fate somehow gets back to Jun's father in this story!! Like seriously! And maybe Jun can reconcile with his mother then,because she seems like she wanted to protect him (how horrible to have that happen to her child OO)
Ohno is so sweet and patient with Jun, love how Jun gradually feels more comfortable around Ohno, and how he trusts him, and how Ohno protects him and gives him a place to feel in peace.
Seems like Sho couldn't handle the situation that well though? But I guess he tried his best, and only wanted to help. Jun's panic attack is probably coming from all the things riling up. But now he has so many people protecting him, I hope he will soon realize that <3
Thanks so much for this upate!! <3

(no subject)

Date: 2017-07-01 12:51 pm (UTC)
hanarashi25: My Japanese family (Default)
From: [personal profile] hanarashi25
oh my.. Jun's story was so saaaaaaaaaaaaaad! *sniffs
It's a blessing that he was found by Satoshi and now his
friends are helping him.. Jun's father must be really
scary. I wonder how it's going to be when they finally
meet again and I'm excited to see on how far Satoshi
will go to protect Jun....
thanks for the update, dear! <3 *hugs

(no subject)

Date: 2017-07-02 05:19 pm (UTC)
wjktl1999: (Default)
From: [personal profile] wjktl1999
Ouh my boy...pity him.

(no subject)

Date: 2017-07-05 07:17 am (UTC)
yukitsubute: (Default)
From: [personal profile] yukitsubute
Oh poor Jun, he really has a dark past :( :( he must be really hurt, but it's great that he opens up now. :)

Thanks for the update. 💜

(no subject)

Date: 2017-07-07 04:24 pm (UTC)
leiva21: (Default)
From: [personal profile] leiva21
Wow Jun's father is really cruel, not hesitating to kill his own son! I want karma to hit him.
Poor Jun, of course his experience is traumatizing him. And I like how Ohno is protective and caring to Jun. How they'll eventually be in love will be an interesting story to read.
What did Sho do to make Jun like that? Is it because Sho isn't being tactful enough or Jun remembers something worse than what he told Ohno, or just that Ohno isn't there to soothe him?

Oh no, now that people seems to know that Jun is there, I'm afraid that the news might reach his father...


learashi: (Default)

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