A Matter Of Trust - Part 1
Mar. 11th, 2016 06:43 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
learashiRating: R
Genre: Angst, Drama
Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Arashi or its members - this is a work of fiction.
Summary: Satoshi was not a person to come to anger quickly. He generally let most things pass him by but the sight of his lover leaning against Sho while the older man casually squeezed his knee was too much for him.
Satoshi loved Jun to distraction but sometimes his sulking face was too much for even him to handle.
Upon his return from night filming for his new drama he had expected to be greeted by hugs and kisses, after all he had been away for almost a week. Instead Jun had called “Bye” as he shot out the front door. The expression on his face was not a happy one and Satoshi sighed to himself wondering what he had done wrong to upset his lover this time.
He knew that he had been quite short tempered with his boyfriend lately but it was just that he was so busy at the moment and had so little time available to spend with the younger man. Maybe Jun was pouting because they hadn’t had any quality time together for what seemed like forever.
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Later that day, after getting some sleep Satoshi walked into the rehearsal room only to be greeted by the sight of Sho talking to Jun in the corner. As he watched Sho lifted his hand and stroked Jun’s arm in an intimate gesture. When they realised that he was watching they sprung apart looking guilty.
It wasn’t that he consciously thought that Jun would ever cheat on him, but his boyfriend’s shared history with Sho had always made him jealous. He would always regret that he had not been the one to take Jun’s virginity and that Sho would always have that connection with him.
Only three days ago he’d rung Jun on his mobile when he didn’t answer their home phone and he had been sure that he had heard Sho’s voice in the background only for Jun to deny it. Is that why he didn’t answer? Because he was with Sho? No, he must stop these stupid self destructive thoughts. He knew he was being pathetic.
“Can we get on and do some actual work?” he snapped tossing his bag on the floor and stalking to the front of the room.
As the rehearsal went on he became even more annoyed, because Nino and Aiba seemed to be mucking up a lot and requiring extra training while Jun and Sho sat lazily on some chairs against the side wall, making vaguely encouraging noises. If he didn’t know better he would have suspected they were doing it deliberately.
Satoshi was not a person to come to anger quickly. He generally let most things pass him by but the sight of his lover leaning against Sho while the older man casually squeezed his knee was too much for him.
He stamped over to the pair, grabbing Jun by the hand and pulling him across the room, annoyed by the way he seemed to hardly have enough energy to move his feet, making it feel like he was dragging a bag of cement behind him.
“I’m sorry to interrupt your alone time with Sho, but we’re here to work in case you haven’t noticed.” He spat out sarcastically, tugging Jun along with him.
Giving his lover no time to respond he continued with his rant “If you want to break up with me, just say so. I know I’ve not paid you much attention lately and you probably resent me for it. But I didn’t think that you’d be low enough to humiliate me by making eyes at your ex in front of everyone else.” He knew that the words spewing out of his mouth were unfair to Jun but his insecurities and frustration and tiredness from overwork had built up to such a point that he couldn’t stop himself. He hardly even knew what he was saying anymore “I know that I haven’t given you a good fucking for while but I hope that while you’re here at least you can control yourself and act professionally.”
By this point Nino and Aiba were both walking towards him with a mixture of anger and disgust on their faces, ready to jump to Jun’s defence while Sho stayed at a safe distance, not wanting to make matters any worse.
“I can’t believe that you think so little of me.” Jun said, pulling away from Satoshi’s grasp and turning to go.
He grabbed Jun’s waist to stop him from leaving. Nino and Aiba made a move to pull him away; but he had already heard the gasp of pain from his boyfriend, who crumpled onto the floor, seeming to have trouble catching his breath.
Sho jumped in and propped Jun up so that he could breathe easier. Satoshi was even angrier at the sight of his lover in Sho’s hands. He reeled back in surprise as Nino slapped his face hard, and grabbed his arm dragging him to a safe distance while Sho lifted Jun up and helped him over to a chair. In the meantime Aiba rushed over and grabbed a bottle of water and some pills out of Jun’s bag and went and helped him to take them.
Jun’s face was white as a sheet as he buried it in Aiba’s shoulder, as the taller man gently rubbed a soothing hand over his back offering him small sips of water. As Sho walked over to help Nino, Satoshi suddenly stopped struggling against him as he realised that Jun was not at all well.
“He had an accident three days ago. He didn’t want to worry you, so we all agreed to help him keep it a secret.” Sho said as he took Satoshi’s hand and led him over to Jun who had regained a little of his colour but was still collapsed against Aiba.
“He had a bad fall while rehearsing a stunt for Shiyagare.” Nino added. “He wouldn’t let the hospital ring you because he didn’t want to disturb you and you know how stubborn our Princess is.”
Jun managed to look up from Aiba to give Nino a weak glare.
Satoshi could only look at the other four in disbelief, the enormity of what he had just said and done finally penetrating his consciousness.
“He has three cracked ribs and severe bruising. He's not supposed to do any physical activity for six weeks, but he won't listen to anyone.” Sho said making their leader sit down next to Jun as he was looking like he might fall over at any minute as well.
“But why?” Satoshi croaked.
Jun responded softly “Because you are so busy and stressed at the moment. I didn’t want to add to your burden.”
“I could never think of you as a burden.”
“But I do. I know how important this role is for you and how much doing the choreography for our new single means to you and the deadline for the new artwork for JAL is coming up soon. You have a lot to worry about at the moment and I don’t always want to appear needy.” Jun said, breathing carefully “ I ..I always seem to lean on you. I don’t want you to hate me for holding you back.” He angrily brushed a tear away from his cheek “I don’t.. don’t want you to think of me as a cry-baby.”
“I know that if you knew you would drop everything and come back here. It’s not like there’s anything you could do to fix me…” Jun trailed off, if possible looking even paler than before.
Aiba picked up the story from where Jun left off “They wanted him to stay in the hospital overnight, but he refused so he rang us to come and pick him up. Nino and I were stuck in an interview so Sho went to collect him.”
“Good thing I didn’t go because he would have needed even more medical attention after I was finished with him. How dare he hurt himself like this and worry us all.” Nino said with a growl all the while fondly looking at his stricken band mate and running his hand over Jun’s hair in a calming gesture.
“That’s why we were goofing off during rehearsal. We figured that if you had to concentrate on us then Jun could rest.” Aiba added.
Satoshi felt Sho looking into eyes as if he could read the guilt about his unfounded jealousy in them. “Now that Leader knows, we can give up this pretence and Jun can go home and get some rest.” Sho said walking over to grab his bag and car keys “Since Jun isn’t fit to drive at the moment I gave him a ride here so I’ll drop you both back home now.”
“Sho has been driving me around a lot since I got hurt. Manager-san said that it would be easier to keep the accident quiet that way.” said Jun who was looking a lot better as the painkillers began to take effect.
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Jun had immediately fallen asleep as soon as they tucked him carefully into the back seat. Satoshi sat up front with Sho feeling awkward and embarrassed by the way he had acted earlier.
“I’m sorry for accusing you. I was stupid to think that there was anything going on.”
“Yes, you are stupid.” Sho replied turning his head towards him with a glare “You know that you mean the world to Jun and that he would never betray you. I wish that when we were together that he’d looked at me the way that he looks at you now. If he did, then maybe I wouldn’t have broken up with him.”
“What?”
“I loved him with all my heart and tried to make it work, but eventually I realised that we just didn’t have enough between us to last. I knew that I couldn’t make him completely happy, so I let him go and since you two got together I knew I did the right thing for him.”
Satoshi couldn’t believe how stupid he’d been. He knew that he owed Sho the biggest apology, but Sho refused to let him say it.
“Don’t worry about me. It’s Jun you have to apologise to.” Sho said as he parked in their building’s car park.
Jun was still asleep so Satoshi gently kissed him on the forehead to wake him up. He groaned as he slowly climbed out of the car, leaning on the older man. Sho asked if they needed any more help, but he said that Sho had been more than helpful and that he would look after Jun from now on. The look that passed between them said more than they could say with words and Sho drove away feeling reassured that Jun would be OK.
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Jun hissed with pain as Satoshi helped him into their bedroom and sat him down on the bed. Satoshi knew that they need to discuss his blow-up soon, but he knew that tonight Jun was too tired and in too much discomfort for it to happen.
He brought over a soft pair of pyjamas for Jun to change into hoping to make him as comfortable as possible. As he carefully eased Jun’s shirt over his head, the extent of his injury was revealed. Virtually the entire left side of his torso was covered in dark bruising. As he thought of how much pain he must have brought him when he grabbed him and the feelings of remorse about the pain that he must have caused by accusing him of being unfaithful penetrated deeper into his heart he couldn’t help but cry.
As the tears flowed down, and the younger man cupped his cheeks with trembling hands and looked deeply into his eyes with a wordless look of absolute love and forgiveness, Satoshi hoped that everything would be all right.
A/N: I am not happy with this abrupt ending so I am madly writing a second part to this.
no subject
Date: 2016-03-11 02:29 pm (UTC)Now I'm off to reading Part 2! I love this <3
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Date: 2016-03-11 11:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-04-21 09:36 am (UTC)I really feel sorry for Ohno, he really must have been hurt to see Jun and Sho together.
I will jump to part 2 now :D
Thanks for sharing this, I loved it <3
*hugs*
no subject
Date: 2016-04-21 10:29 am (UTC)I'm glad you're enjoying it.