learashi: (SOJ)
[personal profile] learashi
Pairing: Juntoshi, Sakumoto (broken)

Rating: R

Summary: After a painful divorce and afraid of being hurt again, Jun wants a marriage based on friendship, not love. On that basis Jun agrees to an arranged marriage with Ohno. His ex-husband Sho soon realizes that he wants Jun back. Is Jun willing to give him another chance or will he stick to Ohno and the prospect of a calm but possibly loveless future?

Notes : This was written for [personal profile] yun_miyake over at [community profile] arashi_exchange. A million thanks to my lovely beta [personal profile] matsupie for her help when I was losing my mind and for supplying the title for this fic. Love you Sis *mwah*


~+~

Sho hesitated for an endless moment before finally sliding the heavy gold band from his finger. There was a smooth circle of skin where the metal had worn it down over the last six years.

Although the divorce had been finalized more than twelve months ago he had been in a state of denial ever since, at least according to his best friend Nino.

Perhaps it was guilt that had made him continue to wear the tangible symbol of his failed marriage long after his husband had reluctantly walked out of his life.

He had always been a workaholic; even as a small school boy he had taken on more work than the others to gain extra credit. On his wedding day though he had vowed to do things differently; gazing into those huge, innocent and beautiful brown eyes he had meant every word that he said. And at the beginning he had stuck to that promise, coming home at a reasonable hour and making love at every possible opportunity. But his rise through the ranks at his firm had gradually eaten into his personal life.

There had been many fights along the way mostly caused by his lack of attention, which he'd attempted to smooth over by buying expensive gifts rather than offering an apology. He realized now that he had been stupidly insensitive, offering material goods in place of love and text messages instead of spending quality time with the person who meant the most to him in the entire world.

On Nino's urging he had accepted Ohno Satoshi's invitation to his engagement party to be held in one week's time. Ohno was the CEO of the company that Sho did most of his biggest deals with and it would have been to rude to refuse his kind invitation. Perhaps Nino was right and it was time for him to move on and try to regain some type of social life. It was hard but he finally had to accept that he had lost the love of his life and move on.

~+~

"You look stunning," Ohno said as he held out his hand to his fiancé in preparation to leading him into the hotel's grand ballroom.

"Thank you." The words were accompanied by a shy smile and a blush that highlighted his fiancé's prominent cheekbones.

The double doors swung open and they entered the party to the enthusiastic applause of the assembled guests.

~+~

Ohno had never had the need or the time available for personal relationships. He enjoyed sex of course, but it was usually on a one-off basis without any emotional connection with the other party involved. This way his physical needs were met and he could continue to live his life on his own terms.

When his parents, despairing of his single status at the age of thirty six, suggested an arranged marriage he had resisted at first. His life was uncomplicated and lived exactly as he pleased; even the thought of keeping a pet seemed like too great a burden for him. But then they had shown him the photograph of his prospective match and his heart had given an unfamiliar leap. There was something about this person that he found quite exciting; not just the outrageous good looks, but there was also a certain expression of sadness in the luminous brown eyes that created a strong desire to protect that he had never felt before.

~+~

It had seemed like the perfect romance to Jun; swept off his feet by a dashing and determined suitor and married after only six months of dating. His husband was everything one could wish for; handsome, charming, caring, and with a laugh that he put his whole body into.

For the first year everything was fine and their marriage was a happy one but soon he found himself left alone more often than not. It was as if his husband was cheating on him; not with another man but with his work.

He tried his hardest to retain his husband's interest, preparing special meals, sexy surprises and being available whenever his husband had any spare time available to be with him.

Jun’s friend Aiba watched things go bad, barely able to restrain himself from making disparaging comments about Jun’s husband. But he wisely held his tongue, waiting for Jun to see these things for himself.

After Jun spent his twenty-sixth birthday alone, sitting in their apartment waiting in vain for his husband to come home and working his way through the fifty dollar bottle of red wine bought to accompany the Kobe beef that was drying out on the grill, he decided to finally call it quits. He drunk-dialled his best friend Aiba and had moved most of his belongings out before his husband finally arrived home after pulling yet another all-nighter at the office.

It had been an extremely painful time for the both of them. It would have been so easy for him to place all of the blame on his husband, but Jun could clearly see the shared pain contained in his eyes whenever they met. In hindsight he now knew that he himself was too immature when he married, carried away on a romantic cloud and unprepared for the realities of married life.

He vowed that next time he wouldn’t be blinded by love when entering into a relationship; friendship and mutual respect must surely endure longer than a burst of fireworks in his heart that burnt out almost as soon as they ignited.

~+~

Sho’s tie felt too tight as he rushed through the doors; he was running late for the reception. As he snatched a glance at his wristwatch he saw that he had gone past fashionably late and entered rudely late territory instead.

He snatched a glass of champagne from a passing waiter, and took a large gulp, hoping that it would help him to blend in and look as if he had been there right from the beginning. He had known that it was time to leave his office for the party but had once again been unable to tear himself away from his work. It was a rut that he was stuck in and unable to escape, no matter how hard he tried to let things go.

The happy couple were making their way amongst their guests accepting congratulations and handshakes as they worked their way around the room. Taking advantage of a small gap between laughing couples Sho made his way towards the engaged pair.

Sho could see Ohno clearly, looking quietly elegant in his formal suit. His fiancé was turned the other way, being fawned over by an elderly man who seemed quite keen to hold his hand perhaps longer than absolutely necessary.

As Sho approached, Ohno caught his eye and with a relieved smile reached out and rescued his fiancé from the older man’s clutches. All that Sho could make out was a set of broad shoulders above a slim waist flaring out to wider hips that set off a pair of strong thighs. The man was taller than Ohno, but not uncomfortably so. His hair was dark brown and cut in a layered fluffy style.

Sho was about to offer his congratulations when Ohno turned to him, his fiancé’s hand in a firm and possessive grip.

“Sho-san, I'm so glad you could make it. I would like to introduce you to my fiancé, Matsumoto…” Ohno began. His words were abruptly cut off as Sho finished speaking for him.

“Jun!”

“Yes, that's right.” Ohno was puzzled. “Do you know each other from somewhere?”

Jun’s face paled and his hand trembled in Ohno’s grasp. His ex-husband Sho was the last person he expected to see at his engagement party.

Sho was equally shocked; Jun was looking even more handsome than the last time he'd seen him. “Errr, we used to be...um.” He was too shocked to even try and form a full sentence.

Ohno looked back and forth between them with puzzlement tinged with anger.

Jun decided that honesty was needed in this awkward situation. “Sho is my ex-husband.”

“Your ex? The one you told me about?” Ohno replied with a relieved smile.

“You know about our shared history?” Sho was confused to have still received the invitation when Ohno obviously knew about their failed marriage.

“Of course, Jun has told me everything. I know that he has been divorced for over a year now, but I never asked him anything more, including his husband's name. I believe that the past should stay in the past.”

“I can leave if it will make things easier,” Sho said unconsciously backing away.

“Don't be silly. There's no reason for you to go. We're all adults here aren't we?” Ohno replied. “If Jun has no problem with you being here then I certainly have no reason to object.”

Jun swallowed hard before saying in a husky voice, “I don't have a problem. Sho and I parted amicably, so there's absolutely no need for drama.”

A moment later Ohno was dragged away by a particularly tedious relative, leaving the stunned pair alone together.

“You really don't mind?” Sho asked nervously.

“Why should I?” Jun asked, not quite able to meet Sho’s eyes.

“Okay then,” Sho replied, suddenly finding the pattern on the tiled floor to be utterly fascinating.

~+~

Ohno stretched his stiff muscles as he padded across the plush carpet back to the bed. The room provided by the hotel as a complimentary gift was large and more than comfortable with an oversized bed and luxurious marble bathtub that he and his fiancé had happily taken advantage of.

Jun was lying sprawled on the bed, completely naked but for the silky top sheet that had somehow tangled itself in his legs. Ohno sat beside him, softly tracing the curve of his spine and the planes of his back with only the very tips of his fingers. He proudly catalogued every bruise and love bite that dotted Jun’s smooth pale skin; products of their multiple rounds of lovemaking after the reception.

When he'd agreed to this marriage it had been a clear and logical decision made with his head, never expecting that feelings would be involved. Jun too had explained that he was divorced and looking for a safe relationship, one based on friendship and the need for mutual companionship. He went into no details of his first marriage but Ohno could tell that he'd obviously been deeply hurt by the experience.

It was almost as if they were negotiating a merger of two businesses. He was looking for someone to please his family, provide support at home and to accompany him on business dinners. Jun was seeking stability and companionship. After several dates they had agreed that they each found the other suitable and the marriage was agreed upon.

They had even trialled sex with each other after three months. It had been unexpectedly satisfying for both of them and had only continued to improve since then.

Although he would never admit it to anyone, especially Jun, Ohno had recently come to the conclusion that for the first time in his life he was falling in love.

~+~

“It was utterly humiliating,” Sho whined, burying his face in his hands.

Nino nudged the back of Sho’s head with another can of beer, plopping himself down in the floor with a sigh as Sho grabbed it and swallowed half of it in one go.

“Did Jun rub your nose in it or something?” Nino asked, more than ready to leap to Sho’s defence.

“No! Of course not! Jun was perfectly friendly,” Sho replied. “Actually that's the problem. He was absolutely perfect,” he added with a groan.

The sight of Jun rekindled the same feelings that he’d experienced when they met for the very first time; feelings that he thought were gone forever when Jun walked away from their marriage, seemingly with no regrets.

~+~

“How did he look?” Aiba asked eagerly. “Did he get fat? Is he bald?”

“Don't be ridiculous,” Jun replied. “He looked just the same; handsome and tired.”

Jun was sure that Sho was working just as many hours as before, resulting in dark circles under his eyes and an exhausted slump to his shoulders. Obviously his decision to get away had been a wise one, but he couldn't help feeling concerned at Sho’s worn-down appearance.

“What did Ohno say? Was he angry?”

“Why would he be? It’s not like we're in love or anything,” Jun said as he twisted the engagement ring around his finger. “We were both quite clear about that from the start.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“What do you mean?”

“Nothing,” Aiba said, deflecting Jun’s attention away to the over-the-top wedding magazine they had been laughing over. If even he could see the love in Ohno’s eyes whenever he glanced at Jun, it seemed impossible for Jun to be unaware, but if his friend was going to continue to insist that their relationship was one of friendship only then who was he to interfere?

~+~

“I was thinking of inviting Sho-san on a fishing weekend with me. Do you have any objections?”

Ohno’s expression was one of hope tinged with worry as he looked at Jun sitting across the table from him. Even though his schedule was always overfull, Ohno always made sure to schedule in free time each day to spend with Jun even it was only a quickly snatched lunch together.

“You like him don't you?” Jun asked as he picked at his plate of pasta; he had been feeling strangely unsettled since the night of the engagement party.

“I think he would make a good friend,” Ohno said, noting Jun’s lack of appetite with a frown. “But if the idea makes you uncomfortable then I'll just go by myself as usual.”

Ohno looked like a small child asking his parents’ permission to have a friend over to play and Jun knew that he couldn't say no. It's not like he hadn't already had plenty of time to get over Sho and the breakup of their short marriage.

“It’s fine. Invite your new friend over for a play date. I'll even make a packed lunch for the pair of you,” Jun replied earning himself a beaming smile and a squeeze of his hand.

~+~

The morning was warm and sunny, holding the promise of a perfect day’s fishing when Jun dropped Ohno off at the wharf where the charter boat was moored. Sho was already standing there dressed in a strange and apparently random arrangement of clothes and wearing a bucket hat pressed firmly down on his head.

Sho hurried over to help Ohno unpack the fishing gear, his eyes widening with surprise when he saw the large basket of food that Jun had prepared. He held out his hand to take the basket from Jun, both of them flinching slightly at the jolt of electricity they felt shoot up their arms as their fingers touched lightly.

Jun snatched his hand away and so did Sho which meant that their lunch would have ended up on the ground if not for Ohno’s quick reflexes. As Ohno hefted the basket and felt the weight of the contents he had an idea.

“Jun, you should join us. You obviously made enough food to feed an army,” Ohno said.

“I’m not sure,” Jun replied hesitantly. “I don't know the first thing about fishing. “

“You don't need to fish, you can just enjoy the beautiful weather and relax,” Ohno offered.

Jun was about to refuse when Sho looked at him imploringly and he somehow found himself agreeing when all he wanted was to be as far away from this awkward situation as soon as possible.

~+~

Ohno and Sho were laughing together as they examined the tiny fish that Sho had finally managed to reel in. Jun felt an overwhelming sense of foreboding as he looked at the two men standing with their shoulders rubbing against each other companionably. Since Sho’s return to his life he seemed to have lived in an almost constant state of confusion. Ohno was a wonderful man, but he didn't have the same feeling of excitement with him that he had experienced with Sho at the beginning of their relationship.

Jun sighed and returned to the cabin below; the glare of the sun on the water and his swirling emotions had combined to give him the beginnings of a terrible headache.

~+~

“Jun?” Ohno was worried that Jun had been down below for a very long time. They'd arranged to have drinks at three and half an hour later after the appointed time his fiancé still hadn't appeared on deck.

“Maybe he fell asleep?” Sho suggested as he followed Ohno into the tiny cabin.

But Jun wasn't asleep; he was rocking on the floor, curled into a tiny helpless ball. His eyes were screwed tightly shut as he whimpered with pain.

Ohno stood frozen to the spot; he had no idea what was happening. Sho pushed past him, forgetting everything but the need to help Jun.

Sho knelt down and pulled Jun into his arms, massaging the back of his neck as he asked, “Jun, do you have your medication with you?”

Jun nodded slowly as if afraid that his head would shatter if he moved it too much. Sho gently lowered Jun to the floor and went to rummage in Jun’s bag, barking orders at Ohno to draw the curtains.

Ohno still had no idea what was happening but jumped to obey Sho’s orders as the other man helped Jun to swallow some pills and moved to place a cloth over his eyes, careful to not jostle his body as he did so. He stood by helplessly, watching another man care for his lover, feeling more useless than he had ever felt in his entire life.

~+~

“What was that? What's wrong with him?” Ohno asked Sho. Jun was asleep on the bunk in the darkened cabin. The rest of the day was cancelled; Ohno had ordered the charter owner to return the ship to the dock immediately. “Do we need to take him to the hospital?”

“He didn't tell you?” Sho asked, looking at Ohno with curiosity. It seemed strange that this man knew so little about Jun when they were to be married in less than six months.

“Tell me what?”

“Jun gets migraines sometimes. It doesn't happen very often but when it does he is completely incapacitated,” Sho replied, not mentioning all the times that he hadn't been there when Jun suffered from one. He still felt sick to his stomach at the thought of Jun laying there helpless and alone while he’d been still at the office, working long into the night, oblivious to his needs.

Ohno’s face flushed at his lack of intimate knowledge regarding Jun’s condition. He wondered if this meant that Jun didn't trust him enough and if this was true then what did it mean for their future marriage?

~+~

“He doesn't know Jun at all. I wonder if he even knows about his allergies? Or the fact that he always gets a fever around New Year?” Sho grumbled.

Nino said nothing, merely sliding a cup of coffee over to Sho and looking at him with a strange expression.

“What?”

“When are you going to admit to yourself that you still love him?” Nino asked, pinning Sho down with a steely glare.

“Don't be ridiculous,” Sho mumbled, ignoring Nino completely.

~+~

“Are you feeling any better?” Ohno tentatively reached out and brushed the hair back from Jun’s face. Jun was tucked in bed in Ohno’s darkened bedroom while Ohno bustled back and forth bringing him a random assortment of items that he thought might help.

“Much,” Jun said, gripping Ohno’s hand and entwining their fingers together.

“I'll just go and fetch you some more water,” Ohno said.

“Please just stay here,” Jun said, tugging Ohno down beside him.

“I'm sorry that I was so useless,” Ohno said, nuzzling Jun’s neck. “I don't know what I would've done if Sho hadn't been there.”

The same thought was running through Jun’s head, making him cling guiltily to his fiancé. He knew that Ohno was blameless since he had never even disclosed to him the fact that he suffered from migraines. And that was exactly his problem; why hadn't he?

~+~

“It’s not Ohno’s fault,” Aiba insisted.

“I know that!” Jun said.

“Do you not trust him?”

“It’s not that,” Jun said, squirming uncomfortably. “It's just really personal.”

“Too personal? This is the man you're going to marry,” Aiba said, looking at Jun as if there was something wrong with him.

“I didn't mean it that way.”

“Oh really? How exactly do you mean it then?”

~+~

Ohno was astonished as Jun boldly peeled off his clothes, holding his gaze as he removed each article slowly and teasingly. Their sex life was satisfying but Jun had never before initiated their lovemaking.

Once Jun was naked, he walked towards Ohno, hips swaying sensually. He knelt down on the soft carpet at his feet and slowly removed Ohno’s clothing, running his hands over his muscular chest, pressing light kisses over his tanned skin.

“I want you,” Jun murmured, taking Ohno’s hand and leading him to the master bedroom.

As Jun lay pliantly underneath Ohno’s thrusting body, he clung desperately to his shoulders, wrapping his legs around his waist, pulling him deeper into his warm embrace.

Even as Ohno found his release, shuddering as he filled the condom, Jun was almost overwhelmed with the desire to cry. He’d thought that making love to Ohno would clear his mind of the desire to see Sho again, but he'd been sorely mistaken. He needed to talk to Sho and try and sort out his feelings once and for all. If Sho was going to continue to see Ohno on a regular basis; he didn’t want to break up their budding friendship with his insecurities.

~+~

Sho was surprised when he received the text from Jun. He had to blink and read it twice before he could make the words out. Of course he agreed to the lunchtime meeting; he was burning with curiosity as to what Jun wanted of him.

~+~

Jun wiped his hands nervously on the legs of his jeans as he waited for Sho to arrive. He hadn't told Ohno of this meeting and his guilt was making it hard to breathe. While he waited for Sho he’d finished one glass of wine and started on his second.

As always Sho rushed in breathlessly late just when Jun was about to give up and go home. “Sorry, sorry. I couldn't get away.”

“It’s not so bad, really,” Jun said with more than a hint of sarcasm. “I consider anything under an hour late a bonus.”

“Sorry,” mumbled Sho, and he really did mean it, he always did. It didn't stop him from being late the next time though.

After they had ordered their meal, and settled themselves Jun said, “I wanted to thank you for looking after me the other week.”

“Of course I would,” Sho replied. “You needed me. If I hadn't been there I don't like to think what might have happened.”

“It wasn't Ohno’s fault. He didn't know about my migraines,” Jun said, leaping to Ohno’s defence.

“And why is that?”

“I...don't know. It just somehow didn't come up.”

“Does he know about your allergies?”

“Um...no.”

“So he gives you flowers which make you have to take medicine and you haven't told him that his gifts make you sick?”

Jun stood up, ready to leave, “If you're going to spend all your time bad mouthing him then I’m going.”

Sho instinctively reached out and gripped Jun’s wrist, “Please stay. I'm sorry.”

Once again electricity shot through Jun’s body as Sho looked at him beseechingly. He wanted to pull his hand away from Sho, but he lacked the willpower. Jun sank back down onto his seat, the skin on his wrist feeling as if it was on fire.

Sho ran his thumb over the smooth skin on the inside of Jun’s wrist, his mind clouded with a sudden stab of desire. “Come back to me.”

The words had popped out of Sho’s mouth without a thought, but now that he'd said them he knew that it was that he desperately wanted. “I still love you, Jun.”

Jun looked back at him with eyes the size of saucers, scarcely able to breathe, “I'm engaged to Ohno.”

“He doesn't love you and you don't love him. If you did he would've known about your migraines. He would have been the one taking you in his arms, but instead it was me. Please let me take care of you again.”

“I...I don't need anyone to take care of me. I'm an adult and I can look after myself. I want someone who treats me as an equal, someone who spends time with me. Can you really do that?”

Sho could hear the hurt and bitterness in Jun’s voice and if he was being perfectly honest with himself then maybe he couldn't offer Jun what he wanted, but right now all he wanted was Jun back in his life and he was willing to agree to anything.

“Just give me a second chance. I promise I'll work less. You will have my undivided attention any time you want. You only have to say the word and I’ll drop everything.”

Sho could feel Jun’s pulse racing beneath his fingertips. Until this second he hadn't understood what Nino had been trying to tell him, but it was obvious; he still loved Jun and would be willing to make any sacrifice to have him back in his keeping.

Jun’s eyes brimmed with tears as he tugged his hand away. He was embarrassed by the scene they were creating in the restaurant; all heads were turned their way and the room swirled with gossipy whispers.

“Please don't do this to me. I've decided to marry Ohno.”

“I just ask you to seriously consider what I’m asking. Can you really see yourself in a loveless marriage instead of being with me? You know that when we’re together we light the sky with fireworks.”

Jun looked stricken as he hastily grabbed his bag and fled the restaurant, running away from Sho and from his own conflicting emotions at the same time.

~+~

Aiba was almost bowled over when he opened his door and Jun flung himself into his arms. His friend was a sobbing mess and so drunk that he could hardly stand. He held Jun firmly as he kicked the door shut with his foot before carefully manoeuvring him over to his stained but comfortable sofa.

Jun had texted him earlier in the day to tell him about the lunch with Sho. He’d tried to tell him that he thought it was a bad idea, but his friend was as stubborn as always. And now it seemed that it had gone as horribly wrong as he’d expected, not that it made Aiba happy to know that he was right.

Aiba eventually managed to get Jun tucked under a blanket on the sofa before he made his exhausted way to his own bed. He decided to wait until morning before trying to find out what had occurred to make Jun so distressed. But when he shuffled out of bed early the next day Jun had already left; the only sign of his stay was the neatly folded blanket sitting on the sofa with a thank you note on top.

~+~

Ohno restlessly paced across his living room, glancing repeatedly at his watch. Jun had sounded so distraught when he'd asked to meet him here. The thing that worried him the most was that Jun had called him “Satoshi” in a tiny breathless voice. It was the first time he had called him by his given name and it should have made him happy, but Jun had sounded so very sad at the same time.

A barely perceptible knock at the door alerted him to the fact that Jun had arrived. Even though Jun had his own key he always knocked anyway as if uncomfortable with the idea of letting himself into Ohno’s apartment.

Jun was pale, dark circles under his eyes highlighting just how washed out and colourless his face was. He stood stiffly as Ohno hugged him, turning his head to accept his greeting kiss on his cheek rather than on his lips.

“Jun, you don’t look well. Sit down before you fall down,” Ohno said. Jun moved unresistingly behind him as Ohno tugged him over to the sofa and sat down beside him.

“I’m not sick. I’m hungover,” Jun admitted as he rubbed his eyes behind his glasses. It had been impossible for him to get his contacts in with hands as shaky as his had been that morning.

“You got drunk?” Ohno had never seen Jun drink to excess and took it as another sign that something was very wrong.

“I did something stupid and now I hate myself and so I tried to drink the memory away, but it didn’t work. It just made things even worse.”

“Tell me what’s wrong so I can help. Nothing is ever as bad as it seems.”

“Why are you so nice?’ Jun asked, clutching the sides of his head in confusion and despair. “I had lunch with Sho yesterday and didn’t even tell you. I don’t deserve nice.”

“Is that all?” Ohno released the breath he’d been unconsciously holding. “There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“There is if I let him hold my hand and tell me that he’s still in love with me,” Jun blurted out hating himself even more when he saw the look of hurt that flashed across Ohno’s face before it became a smooth and expressionless mask.

Jun had managed to control himself so far, but when Ohno pulled away from him and turned his back, he couldn’t hold back his sobs any longer.

Ohno immediately turned back and knelt at Jun’s feet, his own eyes brimming with unshed tears, cupping Jun’s cheek with a hand that trembled despite his best efforts to remain emotionless. He swiped Jun’s tears away with the ball of his thumb.

“If you love him I won't stop you from leaving,” Ohno felt as if his entire body was turning to stone even as he spoke.

“Satoshi...I…”

“I love you too much to want to hold you here against your will.”

The world seemed to freeze as they gazed tearfully at each other.

“You...you love me?” Jun could barely speak for the lump in his throat.

“I'm sorry. I know we promised each other to keep emotions out of the deal.”

“But why? For how long?”

“Why? Because you are beautiful and intelligent and just the thought of being near you makes me happier and more alive than I have ever been in my whole life,” Ohno replied as his own tears began to fall. “As to how long...I think I began to fall in love with you when my parents showed me your photograph. You were so sad and I wanted to be the one to make you smile again.”

Jun made a strangled noise and slid down onto the floor next to Ohno, hugging him tightly and crying all over the front of his shirt. The fact that Ohno loved him enough to be willing to set him free meant more to him than any fireworks that might spark through his body when Sho touched him.

The feelings between he and Sho had always been based on physical desire, they had never been emotionally compatible. Jun had no idea that there could be another, gentler type of love that wouldn’t burn itself in a flash, which actually grew over time. Ohno had never been less than patient and kind, willing to spend as much time with Jun as he wanted, making sure that he had never felt neglected, taking pleasure in just being with him. Jun had mistaken Ohno’s love for mere courtesy and politeness and the thought of that made him cry even harder.

Jun plucked up all of his courage and managed to finally say the words that Ohno longed to hear. “I love you too Satoshi.”

Ohno wanted to leap up and run around the room screaming with joy at hearing those words coming from Jun, but there were still things to be resolved. “What about Sho?”

“I said that Sho told me that he still loves me. I never said anything about loving him back,” Jun replied simply, wiping his eyes and taking a shuddering breath, his heart was racing from his own sudden realization that he actually no longer did love his ex. The physical attraction was still there perhaps, but his heart definitely belonged to Ohno.

“Then why were you so guilty and sad looking?” Ohno’s head was spinning at this sudden turn of events.

“Because I didn’t tell you that I was meeting him. I didn’t want you to feel hurt,” Jun said, finally realizing why he had been feeling so guilty about a quite innocent lunch date that had somehow gotten out of hand.

“So what do we do about Sho?” Ohno asked, pulling Jun onto his lap and stroking his wet cheeks.

“I don’t want to stop you being friends, if you still want to,” Jun said.

“Friends with a man who tried to steal my fiancé?” Ohno replied with a growl. “I might be a tolerant man, but I’m not a complete idiot. He is a great business associate but there will be no more fishing trips together.”

Jun felt bad for Sho, but he knew that Ohno was right; it was time for Sho to move on as he had done. He resolved to send Nino a message after he told Sho that things were definitely over; he knew that Sho was going to need the support of his best friend when Jun broke his heart for a second time.

~+~

Sho was concentrating so hard on his computer screen that he barely registered the fact that someone had walked into the office.

“Sho.”

“In a minute,” Sho replied absently. He recognised Nino’s voice and vaguely wondered why he had turned up at his office at this time of night, but he wanted to finish typing his report before he lost his train of thought.

“Sho!” Nino leant over and snapped the laptop shut, meeting Sho’s glare with one of his own.

“What?” Sho asked grumpily. “What’s so important that couldn’t wait until tomorrow morning?”

Nino sighed and looked around Sho’s desk for his mobile. “Have you checked your messages lately?”

“Messages? No, why?” Sho asked, rummaging on his desk and finally locating his phone buried under an empty noodle box. “I heard it ringing earlier but I was just at an important part so I just ignored it.”

“And that’s been your problem all along,” Nino said angrily. He snatched the phone from Sho’s hand and scrolled through the missed calls and messages until he found Jun’s number. “Here. Listen to this.”

Sho’s face paled as he listened to Jun’s message. “He chose Ohno? But what about the spark we still feel? I know he felt it too, I could see it in his eyes.”

“What use is a spark when the other person is never physically there to feel it with you?” Nino asked, looking at Sho sympathetically. Jun had told him that he was probably going to have to spell things out rather bluntly to Sho. “Jun called and you ignored him. What if he’d been ringing to tell you that he loves you? How do you think he’d feel right about now when you didn’t answer immediately, didn’t run to take him in your arms? Face it Sho, he’s better off without you.”

Against Nino’s advice, Sho immediately dialled Jun’s number, stunned when it was Ohno’s voice that he heard instead of Jun’s. “Where’s Jun? Are you preventing him from answering the phone?”

Sho knew that he was out of control, but he had been so sure that Jun would choose him.

“I answered the phone because he's asleep. He rang you hours ago, and since then he’s been so very upset. He was so worried about you and how you would react to his decision and you didn't even answer your phone.”

“I was...working,” Sho replied, the words sounding hollow even to his own ears.

“It's after midnight Sho-san. Jun called you six hours ago. Do you honestly think that he deserves to be treated like that?”

“I love him. Can you say the same?” Sho asked petulantly.

“Yes, I can,” Ohno’s voice sounded warmer as he thought of Jun asleep on his bed; he crashed there fully clothed two hours ago. “I may love him in a different, quieter way, but I believe that I can make him happy. And isn't his happiness the most important thing? I was willing to give him up if he truly thought that he would be happier with you. Are you willing to do the same for him?”

Sho burned with shame as he realized that Ohno was right; Jun deserved to be free to choose and to have them abide by his decision.

“You actually told him that?” Sho knew that if their positions were reversed he might not be so self-sacrificing.

“Of course. It would have broken my heart to see him go, but if that's what he wanted then I would have given him his freedom,” Ohno said as if it was the most natural thing in the world. “I really like you and think that you're a great guy. If circumstances were different I think we could have been great friends, but I'm afraid that for Jun’s sake we should keep things between us on a strictly professional level from now on.”

Sho didn't know what to say; Ohno was making him feel very selfish and small. Putting himself in Jun’s position he could see why he might be attracted to Ohno, but he was still angry that Ohno had the nerve to speak on Jun’s behalf.

About to speak his mind, Sho was astonished when Nino snatched the phone from his hand. “Thank you Ohno-san for making things perfectly clear. I'm sure that Sho-san will join me in wishing you and Jun-kun a long and happy marriage.”

Nino ended the call and turned to Sho with a glare. “Don't try and interfere with their relationship. We both know that Jun is better off without you. You will pay him attention for the first few days, and maybe even weeks, if he's lucky, and then you'll be right back here working until past midnight and treating him like crap.”

Sho wanted to argue with Nino, to get angry with him for being a bad friend, but his words struck a chord deep in his soul. It was true, he was neglecting Jun again already and they weren’t even back together again. He knew that he truly was addicted to work and that it was about time that he finally asked for some help.

“I have a problem don’t I?” Sho asked in a small voice. He felt sick to his stomach as he looked around his office; it was more familiar to him than his apartment. He couldn’t even recall the colour of the tiles in his kitchen or the curtains in his living room.

“I’m afraid so, but I’ll help you as much as I can,” Nino said, squeezing Sho’s shoulders. “Exactly how much leave do you have stored up?”

“Um…I don’t really know?” Sho said desperately trying to remember when he had actually taken a holiday. To his great shame he realised that it was on his honeymoon with Jun.

“Right,” Nino said, shoving Sho away from the computer and searching for holiday deals. “What you need is a holiday somewhere with no internet access, no phone reception and with handsome single guys on tap.”

“I don’t think I can do that...what about work?” Sho asked, already stressing at the thought that he might not have hit ‘save’ before Nino closed down his report.

“That’s precisely why I’m coming too, at your expense of course,” Nino said, smiling triumphantly as he found the perfect package deal. “You need someone to make sure that you don't relapse and end up in an internet café somewhere checking your work emails.”

Nino knew that Sho was sad and disappointed and genuinely had a problem with his inability to leave his work behind. His flippant tone hid a genuine concern for his friend. He hoped that Sho would be able to use this holiday to discover that there actually was a life out there waiting for him to enjoy it.

Sho was too shell-shocked to even flinch when Nino asked him for his credit card, merely handing it over dazedly. He was too busy thinking about Jun and hoping that he really had found happiness with Ohno, because he definitely deserved it.

~+~

“You talked to Sho for me?” Jun shivered as he stood behind Ohno. He had hastily shoved his glasses onto his face and stumbled towards the living room when he heard Ohno speaking with Sho. The loving and fiercely protective tone of Ohno’s voice had made tears spring into his eyes once again; the thought that he had been contemplating a return to Sho and might have missed out on this love hurt him more than he could possibly imagine.

“I merely told him that if he loved you then he should abide by your decision, as I would have done. He finally agreed that I was right. I don't think he will be bothering you again.” Ohno was worried that he might have been too presumptive, but the look of love and relief in Jun’s eyes told him that he'd done the right thing.

“Thank you,” Jun said softly, feeling as if all the confusion of the past few days had lifted, leaving him feeling lighter than he’d felt in weeks.

Ohno reached over and slid Jun’s glasses off his nose and folded them up before carefully placing them on the coffee table. Even when red and puffy from crying, Jun’s eyes were mesmerizing to him. He kissed each lid in turn, licking away the last traces of the salty tears that had flowed down Jun’s cheeks, before turning his attention to his red lips. He pressed his own lips to Jun’s, feeling them yielding under the pressure, parting slightly as if in invitation.

Jun shuddered as Ohno began to slowly explore his mouth, seeming content to lazily savour the taste as their lips worked against each other. For the first time, he felt a spark fly between them as he pulled away slightly biting lightly on Ohno’s plump lower lip.

Ohno’s eyes were unfocused as he tried to process the electric feeling that made his fingers tingle as he gently stroked the side of Jun’s face with a feather light touch. “Jun, my Jun, I love you so much.”

Jun wrapped his hand around Ohno’s nape, tangling his fingers in the short hair as he whispered, “I love you too Satoshi.”

As one they stood and walked to the bedroom, shedding clothes as they went, a smile playing across their lips as they slowly made their way across the floor, kissing each other with every step that they made.

When Ohno slipped inside his lover’s willing body it was as if their souls joined as one, moving together in an intimate dance, each mirroring the other’s emotions as they gazed into each other's eyes.

Jun gasped and flung back his head as Ohno brought him to his peak, clutching Ohno’s shoulders and holding him as close as possible as he cried out his pleasure.

Ohno kissed Jun deeply before calling out his name as he found his own release.

With a sigh they collapsed into each other’s arms, forming a comfortable tangle of limbs that made it hard to see where one began and the other ended.

Jun had never been happier; he had not only found friendship but a love that would endure for the rest of his life.

(no subject)

Date: 2017-09-21 04:36 pm (UTC)
lilly0: (Default)
From: [personal profile] lilly0
One of my fav stories <3 I've bookmarked this to come back to it again. I love so much about it! First of all, although Sho is Jun's ex-husband and lost him out of obvious reasons, he doesn't come off like a jerk. He does feel guilty and bad, and he obviously loves Jun a lot. However, he still loves his work more than anything else.
Ohno however is calm and patient, and ready to give Jun all he is looking for. I was so relieved when Jun realized that Ohno spends time with him each day, because he wants to and because he loves Jun, not because he is supposed to. Ohno was simply great <3 He didn't push Jun, he wasn't even jealous when he met his ex-husband, because he trusted Jun, he was simply being understanding and patient. I felt bad for him when Jun had his migraine and he didn't know what to do, but I'm sure Jun will open up more to him now.
For a moment I was nervous that Jun would choose Sho (I love my Sakumoto, but here I think Jun and Ohno are such a good fit), because Nino is right, it would work for a couple of weeks, and then Sho would go back to old habits. I'm glad Sho has Nino though. Maybe with his help he can get rid of his workaholic state and actually find his true love too.
I was so happy when Jun chose Ohno and realized he loves him back <3 I was cheering on both of them. <3

Thanks so much for this story!!

(no subject)

Date: 2017-09-21 08:23 pm (UTC)
wjktl1999: (Default)
From: [personal profile] wjktl1999
This is great!!! Love it! Im so happy he didnt go back to sho. I think sho need someone brat type to change him. I hope nino can change from a friend to
a lover of SHO.

Juntoshi are so cute. Ohchan is so calm and understanding. He will love jun maximumly.i can say jun found his real happiness with him neee.


Today VSA juntoshi hug scene still playing in my head
Edited Date: 2017-09-21 08:25 pm (UTC)

(no subject)

Date: 2017-09-21 09:33 pm (UTC)
matsupie: (Default)
From: [personal profile] matsupie
Our babies 💜🌸😘💙 Love it
cant wait to tandem with u again Mama 😘

(no subject)

Date: 2017-09-22 01:06 am (UTC)
mae74: (Default)
From: [personal profile] mae74
Jun made the right choice at the end 😊

(no subject)

Date: 2017-09-22 01:26 am (UTC)
nin0t0: (Default)
From: [personal profile] nin0t0
this master piece is my cup of coffee in the morning, yummy~

(no subject)

Date: 2017-09-22 02:46 am (UTC)
hanarashi25: My Japanese family (Default)
From: [personal profile] hanarashi25
Oh dear oh dear this is so beautiful and I really felt so happy
and touched with the message of this story. <3

“I love you too much to want to hold you here against your will.”
Oh gosh... Actually, I would be happy whoever Jun ends up with
as long as Satoshi can say this to him... I mean, he loves Jun truly
so I think at least he can tell Jun his feelings if ever Jun decides
to come back to Sho instead of marrying him.

"You were so sad and I wanted to be the one to make you smile again.”
WTF I really cried with this one! How the fuck can you find a person
like this who is so selfless and willing to sacrifice his own happiness
for the person he loves?....Sad Satoshi is my weakness and seeing him
like this makes me want to run to him and take him into my arms!

"The fact that Ohno loved him enough to be willing to set him free
meant more to him than any fireworks that might spark through his
body when Sho touched him."
YEAAAAHHH.. This one is definitely such a beautiful realization.
At least the usual quote "You will only know someone's worth when they're
gone" didn't hit Jun to its worst extents... Satoshi is just there, willing
to do everything for him and make him happy for the rest of his life.
In the end, it's not my Juntoshi heart talking OK? Hahahahah but I'm
happy that Jun didn't come back to Sho. I mean, Sho still needs to
learn how to take care of himself. If he can do so, he can finally
dedicate his time to things and people that really matter. The fact that
he couldn't even answer Jun's phone call is a big indication that he
still hasn't got the ability to take care of people without trying too hard.
I think Nino is a good match for him! Sho's attitude can never get away
with Nino's brattiness! Yaaaaaaaay my 2nd OTP! <3
Thank you so much for this dear. My emotions overflew like crazy and I
loooooove fics like this! <3

(no subject)

Date: 2017-09-23 01:12 am (UTC)
From: [personal profile] gemplee
I like the story. A slow and simmering love that will lasts for a long, long time. Thank you for sharing your fic.

(no subject)

Date: 2017-09-30 05:59 am (UTC)
leiva21: (Default)
From: [personal profile] leiva21
Even reading this the second time I still love this. Juntoshi deserve to be happy together <3

(no subject)

Date: 2017-09-30 09:42 am (UTC)
yukitsubute: (Default)
From: [personal profile] yukitsubute
Ohno is so calm and patient, and I am really happy that Jun ended with him ❤❤


Thanks for sharing this, I really enjoyed reading it. 💙💜

(no subject)

Date: 2017-10-06 03:02 am (UTC)
yuuki_73: Ninomiya Kazunari (Default)
From: [personal profile] yuuki_73

aaaahh.... it's been awhile since the last time I cried with a fic...
it was the first time that I stayed with one character until the end! I was Jun! I was inside him all the time!!! Feeling scorned by Sho and feeling the sparks!!! Admiring Ohno and feeling safe with him!!! I was being disputed by two gorgeous men and I was so confused!!!
But when Ohno confessed...... GOSH!!!! That was the PERFECT confession!!!! I would fall in love with Ohno a thousand times with that confession!!! Simply beautiful!!!!
Thank you for sharing!!!

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