learashi | Repeat Viewings

Pairing: Juntoshi

Genre: Romance, AU

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: As much as I wish to I don't own Arashi - this is all fiction.

Summary: Jun sighed deeply. He didn’t want to have a thing with Ohno. For a million reasons, the most important being that it would make his job impossible if it all went wrong, and with his recent track record that was more than likely.

Note: Welcome to purple month. I know it's not August yet but I've started early because as far as I am concerned there can never be too much Jun in our universe. He makes the world a more gorgeous place with his particular brand of fabulousness.

(Hey there

akhikaru this is the one where you messed with my brain while I was in the middle of writing the angsty bits. I hope that I have managed to dampen down the excess of happy sparkly fluffy stuff you filled me with at the time.)

Aiba was whistling cheerfully to himself as he arranged the new property listings in the window. At least he was, until a nicely aimed throw from Nino hit him in the back of the head with a promotional squeezy stress ball that had their real estate office details printed on the side in a chirpy font.

"Do you have to be so relentlessly cheerful in the morning?" Nino moaned.

"It's a perfect summer's day. What's not to be cheerful about?" Aiba replied deliberately loudly in Nino's ear.

"Ow, my head," Nino groaned, dropping his head down on his desk with an audible thud.

"Well, perhaps if you hadn't been out with drinking with Jun for most of last night you might be able to appreciate things a bit more," drawled Sho from the far side of the office.

"Speaking of Jun-kun, what did you do to him last night? He's never been this late in to work before," Aiba said, glaring at Nino with a suspicious glint in his eye.

"He's still upset about the breakup. I think he misses Toma a lot, but he'd never admit it," Nino said as he cautiously tried sitting up without his head falling off.

"Never admit what?" came an icy voice from the doorway.

Jun was standing there with the biggest pair of sunglasses they'd ever seen resting on the most pissed off face they'd ever seen.

"I told you that I am completely over that cheating bastard. In fact I've never been happier, ok?" Jun snarled as he slammed past his cowering workmates on his way to grab a coffee from the tiny kitchen at the very back of the office.

"You know, somehow I don't think that Jun is telling the truth," said Aiba, earning another squeezy ball in the face, but from Sho's direction this time.

++++

Jun was leaning against the sink listlessly stirring his rapidly cooling coffee when Sho came to look for him ten minutes later.

"Are you ok?" Sho asked softly as he touched Jun lightly on the arm.

"I know I should be over it by now. It's been three months since it happened, but I just can't get that picture of him fucking that guy in our kitchen out of my head," Jun sighed as Sho wrapped a comforting arm around his shoulders "I can't believe that I didn't know what sort of person he really was."

"It wasn't just you that he fooled, we all liked him as well," Sho said as he tipped Jun's cold coffee down the sink and made him a fresh one.

"Oddly enough what makes me the angriest is that I just can't bring myself to cook in there anymore. I can't eat food that's been touching the spot where that guy's naked ass was, even though I’ve cleaned it so often I’ve almost worn a hole through the bench top," Jun said with a rueful laugh.

"If only you had some contacts with a real estate agency, then you might be able to find a new, better, and ass free apartment...," Sho said as he handed his friend the replacement coffee and a couple of consolation cookies.

"You're right, I'll get Nino on it straight away. Nobody can find better value for money apartments than he can," Jun replied as he squared his shoulders and prepared to face the day. He had a client arriving in fifteen minutes and he had to make sure that his list of suitable properties for him to view was in order.

++++

Jun's head was still feeling fuzzy when the door opened precisely fifteen minutes later and the man who was presumably his client walked in.

Aiba greeted him with his usual warm smile and offered to take his coat and bring him a coffee all in one burbled sentence. He was greeted with a rather shy smile in return as he showed the man to Jun's desk.

As Jun stood to shake hands with his client he noted that the man was looking at him quite strangely. With a rush of horror he realized that he was still wearing the enormous sunglasses. He hastily removed them, hoping that his eyes didn't look as bad as they felt as he squinted at the sudden burst of daylight.

"Ohno Satoshi, pleased to meet you."

"Matsumoto Jun. Sorry about the glasses, I have a small problem with my eyes at the moment," Jun said, hoping that his explanation would be sufficient.

As Ohno accepted a slightly too full cup of coffee from Aiba, Jun took a second to assess his new client. The man was of small build with perfectly styled black hair and stylishly dressed in a suit that looked like it had been made to measure. He looked to be at least five years older than Jun, but his slightly chubby face made it hard to guess his exact age. The card that he had exchanged showed that he was a businessman and quite a successful one at that if the price range of the properties he was interested in meant anything.

After chatting for a few minutes Jun suggested that they be on their way to their first viewing, pointedly ignoring Aiba who was wildly gesturing behind Ohno's back and giving Jun the thumbs up.

"I'll just grab my coat and we'll be off," Jun said as he took the empty coffee cup to the kitchen, followed rather obviously by Aiba and Nino.

"What?" Jun hissed at them as loudly as he dared.

"Don't look at me, I'm just here for the show," Nino said as he looked eagerly between the other two.

"He is totally hot and exactly your type," Aiba said keenly.

"How do you even come up with these things?" Jun groaned.

"My gaydar is never wrong. Plus he's handsome and impeccably dressed and therefore perfect for you."

"You think I'm shallow enough to pick someone based on what type of suit he wears?"

Nino and Aiba both exchanged a look that said a lot as they both carefully avoided mentioning that Toma had been a model and Jun had fallen for him at first sight.

"Wait a minute..."

"You're in here arguing over Jun's taste in men while the biggest client we've had in weeks is left waiting outside quickly losing patience with us?" Sho asked in a stressed sounding voice as he squeezed into the tiny space with them.

Jun immediately forgot about his idiot friends as he rushed out to attend to business.

++++

"I think you will like this property, it's modern and masculine in its styling," Jun said as he ushered Ohno into the first apartment.

It was starkly decorated in white, black and grey with small windows and a modern bathroom.

Ohno's face showed his dissatisfaction as he asked "There is a second bedroom? I was most interested to see that."

Seeing a glimmer of light, Jun opened the door to a tiny dark room which seemed no bigger than a wardrobe.

The glare on Ohno's face said it all. The next three properties were greeted with even less enthusiasm.

"I'm sorry Ohno-san, if you just give me another chance I'm sure I can find you the perfect property,” Jun said as Ohno left for an urgent work appointment.

After he'd gone Jun slumped down onto his heels, his head hanging low; not only was his personal life in ruins, but now he didn't seem able to do his job properly either.

Rubbing his hands across his tired eyes he failed to hear Ohno's return, the surprise making him lose his balance and topple over onto the floor into an embarrassed heap as the door swung open.

The older man immediately bent to help him up, looking at him with warm brown eyes as he asked "Matsumoto-san, are you well? You look very pale."

"Sorry, I'm ok. You just startled me."

"I came back to retrieve my coat. Are you quite sure you're fine?" Ohno asked with concern.

"Definitely. I'm sorry for worrying you. I'll be in touch tomorrow with more details of further properties. I'm sorry the ones we saw today were all so wrong."

"I look forward to it," Ohno replied with a gentle smile.

Jun was shocked when his heart gave a little flip in response.

++++

"I made a complete fool of myself,” Jun complained to the others.

Sho smiled sympathetically as he pushed another glass of beer over in Jun's direction as Aiba and Nino emerged from Aiba's kitchen carrying steaming bowls of chicken soup.

"Here, soup is good when you're sick," Aiba said as he put a bowl down in front of Jun.

"I'm perfectly fine," Jun growled.

"No you're not, your heart is sick," Aiba said as he attempted to hug Jun around the neck.

Sho stepped in and dragged Aiba away before Jun snapped off one of his arms.

"He means well," Nino said as he slurped a spoonful of soup.

"I know that. I'm just sick of being so obviously broken. I hate that everyone feels obliged to try and fix me. Even Ohno-san felt sorry for me earlier," Jun said with a deep sigh.

"So maybe you need to find a way to fix yourself. What about that guy today? He seemed pretty decent."

"No chance. There are too many reasons why that would be a bad idea. For instance, he's a client, he's too serious, he's too old for me, he's probably already attached, and most importantly he definitely thinks I'm useless at my job." Jun replied, and nothing that the others said could change his mind.

++++

Over the next few weeks Jun worked on finding the ideal property for his perpetually disappointed client, but each place they visited was rejected by Ohno for various reasons that sometimes didn’t even make sense to Jun.

“The windows are too small,” Ohno said with a pout of his plump lips as they walked around a three bedroom apartment in a perfect location.

“The room faces the wrong way,” Ohno said to Jun as they looked over the apparently all-important spare bedroom in a two bedroom house that was so beautiful that the estate agent was reluctant to leave its luxury and move on to the next property.

“It doesn’t speak to me,” Ohno complained about the fifth apartment of the day, when Jun’s patience was at an all-time low.

“Of course it doesn’t speak to you, it’s an apartment and the last time I looked this one wasn’t listed as having a mouth,” Jun blurted out before clapping his hand over his own in mouth in horror as he realised that he had spoken the words out loud.

Ohno was looking at him with a stunned expression and Jun immediately wanted to crawl out of one of the probably too small, pointing in the wrong direction windows of the facing in the wrong direction room.

“I am so sorry,” Jun gulped, surprised when the older man began to laugh hard enough to make small tears squeeze out of the corners of his eyes.

“No, I’m the one who's sorry Matsumoto-kun. I must have been truly horrible to work with for the last few weeks. I’ve even been annoying myself with my endless complaints and dissatisfaction at the houses you’ve come up with. Personally, I would have cracked long before now, and pushed me off one of the twenty balconies we've already looked at.”

“I couldn’t possibly do that,” Jun replied, risking that the man had a sense of humour “You’ve refused to even go out onto any of the balconies we’ve seen so far. I would probably need to push you down the stairs instead.”

As they laughed together, Jun noticed that Ohno was a very attractive man indeed when he relaxed and showed his true personality, so when the businessman suggested that they stop for the day and go for a drink, Jun found himself readily agreeing.

++++

One of the first things that Jun noticed was Ohno’s fingers. They were long and delicately shaped and made even the most mundane of gestures eye-catchingly beautiful.

His dark honey coloured eyes were just as mesmerizing. Although outwardly he appeared to be half asleep as they sat drinking beer and eating a selection of bar food he surprised Jun with his insightfulness when he broke up Jun's casual chatter with a question that delved deeply into his personal life.

"Are you happy Matsumoto-kun?"

"How could I not be? These squid skewers are awesome," Jun replied flippantly.

"I meant with your life. Are you happy with the way things have turned out? Some people have to live every day with regrets about not being courageous enough to go for what they really want."

"My job is very satisfying and I get to work with my best friends every day, even though sometimes I feel like strangling them." Jun replied with a small smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"What about your personal life? I don't mean to pry, but sometimes you look so sad..." Ohno said as he reached out and touched Jun's fingers lightly.

Jun blushed and snatched his hand away from Ohno's fingers, embarrassed that such a slight touch had caused his heart to thud almost painfully in his chest.

He was sorely tempted to seek comfort in this quiet and gentle man, but he had made more than enough disastrous choices about his love life over the past few years and becoming involved with a client would be the worst mistake of all.

"I'm sorry, I crossed the line with that question, but I hope in time we might become friends?" Ohno asked with a wistful expression.

"I think I'd like that Ohno-san," Jun said shyly.

"If we're going to be friends please call me Satoshi."

"Ok, Satoshi-san it is then."

"Thank you...Jun-kun?" the older man replied questioningly, receiving a confirming nod from Jun in return.

Their evening came to an abrupt end when Ohno received a phone call which obviously didn't please him. After a brief muttered conversation he excused himself.

"I'm sorry, but I have to go back to work."

"At this time of night?"

"I have a boss who is impossible to please and trust me I've done everything I could over the years to try," Ohno said with a deep sadness in his eyes.

After he'd gone Jun picked up his phone as he sat and tried to get his thoughts in order, he had a terrible fear that he was developing inappropriate feelings towards the older man and he needed to talk to someone who would be able help him think things through logically.

++++

Jun sighed deeply. He didn’t want to have a thing with Ohno. For a million reasons, the most important being that it would make his job impossible if it all went wrong, and with his recent track record that was more than likely.

Then a moment later he forgot this sensible reasoning and accepted there was something about Ohno – in a purely physical sense – which he found very attractive. He wanted to feel his arms around him. He wanted to bury his face into his neck and inhale his scent. He wanted to have his mouth on his own, so hard that their teeth clashed. He also wanted him to pull off his clothes and make love to him.

He reasoned with himself that it was a purely physical thing, just because he hadn’t had sex in ages and he was a very attractive man, and he’d be horrified if he knew Jun was having these thoughts.

++++

“Jun, you sounded so strange on the phone, is everything ok?” Sho asked as he let him into his apartment.

“I’m sorry to bother you but I needed to talk to someone,” Jun said as he toed off his shoes and followed Sho into the living room.

“Drink? Beer?”

“Great.”

“Sit,” Sho said patting the cushion next to him as he sat on the sofa before yelling towards the kitchen “Nino, two beers.”

“What did your last slave die of?” Nino yelled back.

“Nino’s here? Sorry I didn’t realize, I can leave if I’m interrupting something,” Jun said as he made to stand up again.

“Don’t worry Princess, I’m only here because Aiba brought a girl home and I couldn’t stand them cooing at one another like a couple of sex crazed pigeons. Sho kindly offered me refuge until the coast is clear.” Nino said as he tossed them a can of beer each.

“If you don’t like living with Aiba, why don’t you get a place of your own?”

“I didn’t say I don’t like it, it’s only when he has sex and he makes this loud sort of wheezy, panting -“

“I think we get the picture,” Sho interrupted with a shudder.

“And anyway, I’d have to pay the whole rent by myself and have to buy my own groceries if I didn’t live with him,” Nino said as he sat down on the floor and cracked open his own beer.

“And Aiba doesn’t mind you being a complete parasite?”

“Of course not. What’s not to love?”

“Nino, as fascinating as we all find your friendship with Aiba, we’re supposed to be helping Jun out here, not discussing your domestic arrangements,” Sho said in an attempt to return to the reason for Jun’s visit in the first place.

“It’s Ohno-san isn’t it?” Nino asked, looking expectantly up at Jun “You cracked and molested him against his will and now you’re here to work out a getaway plan,” he added before cackling with laughter.

“You’ve seriously got to spend less time with Aiba, I think your brain is dissolving,” Jun said with a glare.

“But it is about Ohno-san?” Sho enquired after poking Nino in the side with his foot.

Jun suddenly found his half empty beer can endlessly fascinating as he muttered “I think I like him.”

“How does he feel about you?” Sho asked.

“I kind of think that there’s something there, but perhaps it’s just wishful thinking. He seems like a serious person who probably wouldn’t be interested in someone like me,” Jun replied, still fiddling with his beer. “He’s probably just worried that I’m having a nervous breakdown or something. I always seem to come off as seriously unstable whenever I’m around him.”

“Perhaps you should ask him out and see what his response is?”

Jun sighed “You know I have a rule about not dating clients.”

“Well then, just find him a house already and then you can jump his bones,” Nino said.

“I wouldn’t have put it quite like that, but Nino’s right,” Sho added.

“Think of him as your Cinderella and his new house as the glass slipper. If you find the right fit, he might just fall for you,” Nino said, earning himself another kick from Sho and a smack on the head from Jun.

++++

Jun knew that he was probably insane, but Nino’s word’s actually made sense in a twisted sort of way. If he could find the ideal property for Ohno then it meant that he knew more about what sort of person he was underneath the staid businesslike exterior and if that was the case then perhaps he was worthy enough to deserve to have a relationship with him when he was no longer his client.

Perhaps this was only seeming like a good idea because of the three more beers he’d drunk at Sho’s place on top of the two he’d had earlier in the evening with Ohno, combined with the extra two he’d had when he got home, but he was determined to give it a try.

++++

Jun had his oversized glasses firmly planted on his face when he arrived at work the next morning, only fifteen minutes late, which wasn’t bad considering the size of the hangover that was hovering over him like a dark cloud.

He had spent a productive time on the internet before sleeping, searching for information about Ohno but there seemed to be nothing but dry facts about the company he worked for and the position he held there. It seemed that the company was owned by his family and he was expected to take over when his father retired in the near future. Remembering Ohno’s remarks about working for a boss who was impossible to please he felt a stab of sympathy for the older man.

It seemed sad to Jun that someone would have such a frosty relationship with their parents, not that Jun knew what having a complicated adult relationship with any parents was like, since his own had been killed in a car accident when he was thirteen, at which time he’d gone to live with Sho’s family. It was this close relationship with Sho that made him his go-to person whenever he had a crisis and why their friendship had never developed into anything more romantic, even though in Aiba's opinion they were perfectly suited to one another.

There had been more than a few other Ohno Satoshi’s on the internet, including one artist who produced dreamy looking abstract paintings that Jun had been unable to drag his eyes away from for longer than was probably good for him, since the astronomical prices they were selling for made his brain hurt. This meant that he was seriously sleep deprived when he sat down at his desk determined to quickly find the most perfect house possible.

After scouring the internet and calling every real estate person he’d ever met, and spending most of the day drinking coffee and ignoring Aiba, he thought that he’d found it; the perfect house in the perfect location for the perfect man. As soon as he’d seen the photos of it, he’d known that it was the one. He only hoped that Ohno felt the same way.

++++

Jun didn’t think that he’d been more nervous in his entire life. He didn’t know why it was so important that this house was the one. The only thing he could put it down to was superstition. If this house was perfect then his future relationship with Ohno would be perfect as well.

Compared to some of the other properties they had looked at it seemed almost shabby by comparison. But it had the look of a house that had been well-loved by its previous owners and still seemed to hold years of accumulated happy memories within its walls.

The rooms were large and full of light and there was a small, peaceful garden out the back, full of perfumed flowers and carefully tended trees. The whole place seemed to radiate a sense of serenity. There was even a small water feature and koi pond, full of shimmering jewel coloured fish.

None of the modern properties he had shown Ohno had struck the right note so he was hoping that the gentle charm of this house would win the older man over.

Jun suddenly found it hard to swallow as they pulled up outside the house. It was impossible to tell if Ohno was impressed by the look of the outside or not as his face remained completely neutral as they walked up the front path.

Jun resisted the urge to point out the features that he thought would interest Ohno the most. Instead he silently trailed along behind him as Ohno started to walk through the peaceful rooms, almost stepping on his heels several times as he slowed to examine a particular feature.

"Jun-kun, can I ask you to wait in the garden while I look around by myself?" Ohno asked after Jun almost tripped over him once again.

"Oh, sure. I'll give you some space."

Jun went and sat on the small bench under the cherry tree near the pond, his heart sinking down to his feet. He decided that maybe the fish would listen to him since Ohno obviously wasn't interested in hearing what he had to say.

"I thought that I had finally got it right, but I guess that as usual I just don't have a clue. I just can't seem to stop myself from making a fool of myself. I'm such a failure."

Ohno's voice came from a spot unexpectedly close behind Jun "Don't ever call yourself a failure. You are so much more than that Jun-kun."

Jun blushed as Ohno took a seat beside him on the bench.

"Why did you think that the house would suit me?" Ohno asked softly.

Jun realized that he would probably humiliate himself but decided to speak the truth. "Because to me it seems to give off the same feeling of calm that you do; it's peaceful and gentle and not flashy. It's not like all of those modern apartments we looked at that were out to impress. It just seems comfortable to be the way it is."

Ohno took Jun's hand in his and planted a soft kiss on the back of it before replying in a choked voice as he gazed into Jun's eyes with a look that was full of yearning. "It makes me so happy hear your kind words, and I only wish that I actually was the way that you see me. There are lots of things in my life that I'm not proud of. In many ways I'm a coward."

Jun's heart was racing so fast at the gentle touch that he didn't really take in what Ohno was saying, he only knew that he would be happy to stay sitting on the small bench in the beautiful garden forever, if the man sitting next to him was there too.

Ohno's phone began to ring insistently and with a frown he reluctantly pulled his hand away from Jun's as he stood and walked away to answer the call. After angrily pacing back and forth across the garden for the duration of the terse conversation he returned to Jun, his eyebrows knitted together in a deep frown.

"I'm sorry, but something has come up. I have to go away on business for a couple of weeks, but I'm very interested in this house. Is there any way to make sure that it doesn't sell to anyone else in the meantime?"

Jun couldn't believe what he was hearing. His instincts about this house had been right even though Ohno hadn't appeared to be overly impressed. "I can talk to my friend and get him to let the sellers know about your intentions. I don't think they are in any hurry to sell and they should be able to wait until you return. Houses like these aren't very popular right now so it's not like other buyers will be knocking on their door."

"Fine." Ohno said, looking like a completely different man to the one who had kissed Jun's hand a few minutes earlier.

"Thank you for all your hard work Jun-kun," Ohno said with a small bow, and then he was gone leaving a very confused Jun sitting frozen in place on the bench staring at the spot on the back of his hand that Ohno had pressed his lips to.

But it wasn't two weeks before Ohno returned. It was late autumn before he contacted Jun again.

++++

Every time the office door opened Jun sat a little straighter in his seat and ran his fingers through his hair just to make sure that it was perfect, and every time it turned out to not be Ohno, his heart seemed to shrink just that little bit more.

There had been brief emails from the businessman, apologising for the delay and even a good faith payment towards the house but the man himself hadn't been seen since that day in the garden.

Jun knew what he'd felt on that day, when Ohno had kissed his hand and he'd seen the look of tenderness in the older man's eyes when he had taken his place beside him on the bench. He didn't know what had gone wrong since then but he was determined to make his feelings clear the next time they met. With the purchase of the house complete he would be at liberty to start a relationship with the man who had stolen his heart even though their time together had been brief.

++++

When Ohno finally came, he seemed to look at least five years older. There were dark circles under his eyes and his skin had lost its glow. There was none of the spark that had been there before when he looked at Jun and their conversation was stilted and awkward.

Sho and Nino squeezed themselves into the kitchen, hoping to give the pair an opportunity to speak properly while Aiba dashed out muttering about needing to buy some new pens at the stationery supplier.

But Jun was given no chance for a private conversation as Ohno repeatedly checked his phone for messages as he flicked through the pages of the purchase contract barely meeting Jun's eyes.

"Thank you Jun-kun, I'm sorry for the delay. I will take the paperwork to my solicitor and have it back to you as soon as possible. I appreciate all of your hard work." Ohno said as he stood up and walked out to the parking garage.

There was no way Jun could leave things like this, so he rushed out behind Ohno, catching up with him before he reached his car.

"Satoshi-san, have I done something wrong?" Jun asked.

Ohno paused and turned back towards Jun who was standing there, breathing heavily, one hand outstretched towards him "Of course not. What makes you think that?"

"It's just that you seem so different towards me. I thought that we had something," Jun replied hesitantly as he grasped Ohno's sleeve to prevent him leaving, confused by the blank expression on his face. "I mean, um, I, well, I like you a lot and I thought that you might feel at least a little bit the same way towards me. In the garden that day when you kissed-"

"I'm sorry Jun-kun but I can't discuss this right now," Ohno said coldly, cutting off Jun's confession, tugging his hand out of Jun's grasp and taking a step back "Please call my secretary when the paperwork is ready for my signature."

Jun's heart seemed to freeze at that moment; he didn't even feel the pain in his knees as he dropped to the hard concrete floor as Ohno drove away without a backwards glance.

It was Aiba who found him in an almost catatonic state, still on his knees in the carpark long after the businessman had gone.

"Jun!?" Aiba dropped his shopping bag of newly purchased office supplies and ran over to pick Jun up off the ground.

Jun was still unresponsive, his skin like ice as Aiba walked him back to their office supporting him with his arm tightly around his waist.

As he pushed the door open Aiba called to Sho and Nino for help in steering Jun into a chair.

Jun barely noticed the coat that was wrapped around his shoulders or the hot drink that was pressed into his trembling hands.

Sho knelt in front of Jun, searching his friend's face for a sign of what had happened to him, truly scared for his well-being.

"I'm so stupid," Jun whispered barely loud enough for them to hear.

Jun began to rock back and forth on the chair as he continued to speak, his voice becoming louder and more distressed as he did so.

"Why was I so stupid to think that someone like him could possibly have feelings for someone like me? I'm worthless and unlovable, that’s why everyone leaves me. That's why Toma went with other men..."

Tears began to run unchecked down his cheeks now as he continued, brushing Sho's hands away as he tried to comfort him. It seemed that once he started he just couldn't stop as all of his pent up fears and self-loathing that he'd been holding inside since his last breakup came bubbling to the surface.

"It was so humiliating. I started to tell him my feelings and he just walked away. Why don't I ever learn? Surely by now I should know that there are no happy endings for someone like me..."

Surprisingly it was Nino who swiftly moved past a helpless Sho and pulled Jun into a fierce hug, comforting him as he sobbed uncontrollably.

++++

It was also Nino who decided to pay a visit to Ohno to find out what had gone wrong. He had seen the way that the man had looked at Jun with such yearning when he thought no one was looking and had been convinced that Ohno had feelings for him. It made no sense that he would suddenly change as abruptly as he had. Of course if it turned out that he'd just been playing with Jun's feelings he could always just punch him in the face instead.

Nino walked up to the reception desk at the address on Ohno's business card which he'd taken from Jun's wallet. The younger man hadn't been in to work since the day of Ohno's rejection. Jun had gone to stay with Sho but hadn't been able to face leaving the apartment for over a week. They were all desperately worried about him and had tried everything to cheer him up but so far nothing had worked. Aiba hadn't even managed to make him threaten to kill him after almost strangling him in a series of suffocating hugs, which only showed how depressed Jun actually was.

"I'm sorry but Ohno-san no longer works for this corporation," the very pretty young receptionist told Nino.

Nino tried not to let his surprise at this remark show as he asked "Then perhaps you have another address where I can contact him?"

"I'm afraid that information is confidential."

"It's vitally important that I speak with him," Nino replied whilst flashing her his most charming smile.

Ten minutes later he left the building with a piece of paper with Ohno's address on it and a date for the following evening.

++++

Nino was stunned when the address turned out to be an industrial building that had been divided into separate units that people seemed to use for artistic endeavours. There was a potter taking his wares out of a kiln in one unit and next door to him a woman was welding scrap steel into sculptures.

"I'm looking for Ohno Satoshi?"

"His studio is up those stairs," the woman replied indicating the direction with a tilt of her head.

Nino cautiously climbed the rickety staircase, completely stunned when he stepped into a large light filled open space. The walls were lined with rows of eye catching abstract paintings. They were beautiful explosions of colour and movement which made Nino slightly overwhelmed with their power. For some reason they seemed familiar and then Nino realized that they were almost identical to the ones that Jun had shown him on the Internet, while remarking on the incredible coincidence that the artist had the same name as his businessman.

Ohno was standing in front of a blank canvas with a frown on his face.

"These are yours? They're stunning."

Ohno jumped as if startled, dropping his paintbrush to the floor with a clatter.

"How did you find me?"

"It's not that hard when you are trying to find answers for your broken-hearted friend."

"Jun-kun?"

"Who else? Unless you make a habit of going around leaving a trail of destruction behind you."

"It's not what you think."

"Well I think that you ripped Jun's heart out and left him an emotional wreck, so I'd be interested to hear your take on things."

Ohno's face blanched and he sank down onto a nearby crate as he began to explain his situation.

++++

"Nino, where are we going? It's too cold to be outside." Jun grumbled.

It had taken all of Nino's powers of persuasion to get Jun out of Sho's apartment and into his car.

"I told you that there is a problem that only you can fix. If this deal falls through the repercussions for us all could be dire."

Jun sighed and slumped further down into his seat. He knew that he had been neglecting work lately but he just seemed to have no energy these days; even eating seemed like too much hard work.

Nino hadn't failed to miss how thin Jun had become recently so their first stop was at a ramen restaurant for an early lunch. Picking up a small rectangular package from the back seat of his car, he steered a protesting Jun into the fragrant warmth of the building.

"I'm not really hungry," Jun protested as Nino ordered for both of them.

"I don't care. We are going to sit here until you finish every last drop, no matter how long it takes," Nino replied sternly as two steaming bowls were placed before them.

Jun reluctantly began to eat forcing himself to choke down the first few mouthfuls but to his surprise he had soon finished the entire bowl, finding comfort in the homely taste of the soft noodles. Wordlessly Nino pushed his still almost full bowl in Jun's direction indicating that he should eat his as well.

Whilst Jun was slowly working his way through the second bowl he noticed the parcel that Nino had propped on an empty chair next to them.

"What's that?"

"It's a thank you present for you from a grateful client. But you can only have it when you've finished eating," Nino replied, noting that Jun had put his chopsticks down.

Reluctantly Jun finished the second bowl as well, his body feeling warm for the first time in days.

When their empty bowls had been cleared away and they had been served a pot of tea, Nino handed the parcel over to Jun who carefully peeled off the wrapping.

The room seemed to be spinning as Jun breathlessly looked down at the most exquisite painting he'd ever seen. Ripples of purple and blue seemed to dance around the small canvas as if involved in an intricate mating dance. His heart was filled with longing as he was reminded of Ohno and the soft warmth of his lips on his hand. In the bottom right corner the initials "OS" were woven into the dancing colours.

"What? How? This is a painting by that artist with the same name..."

"Not the same name. The same man," Nino replied as he handed over an envelope containing a letter of explanation from Ohno.

Jun' eyes were brimming with tears and his mouth set into an angry line as he flung the letter back at Nino.

"I don't want to know,” Jun said as he tried to flee.

Nino, however, had a firm grip on his wrist, preventing his movement as he pulled him back down into his seat.

"He went about things in the wrong way, but he did what he did for a very good reason. Please read his explanation before you dismiss him completely."

"You're taking his side?" Jun asked angrily.

"You know that I will always be on your side and that's why I want you to read this letter," Nino said as he pressed the creased envelope back into Jun's hand.

"Please take me home," Jun said in a broken whisper.

"To Sho's place?"

"No, to my own. I need time to think."

++++

Jun crumpled the offending envelope and tossed it unopened into his waste paper bin. For an insane moment he was tempted to toss the painting in after it but when he looked at it he couldn't help running a finger over its surface, tracing the delicate swirls of colour from beginning to end.

He pointedly ignored the bin for the rest of the afternoon as he set about cleaning an apartment that had been standing empty since the last day he'd seen Ohno.

By nightfall he was exhausted and his apartment had never been cleaner. As he flopped down onto his sofa with a glass of wine he could feel the bin glaring at him from across the other side of the room.

He picked up his phone. "Do you know what it says?"

"Not exactly, but he told me enough to know that you need to read it," Nino replied, not at all surprised by Jun's call.

Jun hung up without another word and slowly walked over to the bin and retrieved the sorry looking envelope, trying to smooth out some of the wrinkles as he returned to the sofa and his wine.

With slightly shaky fingers he ripped open the envelope and began to read.

My wonderful Jun

Even though you probably hate me and never wish to see me again I hope that Nino has managed to persuade you to read this letter. (You are very lucky to have him as friend by the way, he is so fiercely protective of you and he went to great lengths to track me down – possibly with the original idea of punching me in the face, which I couldn’t really disagree with.)

Please believe me when I say that I never wanted to play with your emotions. I knew that your feelings towards me had become more than those of a friend and please also believe me when I tell you that I feel the same way.

The problem is within me. I have spent my life living up to the expectations of others for so long that I lacked the courage to break away and stand on my own two feet. Even though art has always been my passion, I have spent the greater part of my life in a suffocating and soul sapping office environment working towards gaining my parent’s approval.

I have finally realized that I will never be what they want in a son. I will never give them the heir that they so strongly desire. I will never be able to carry forward the company to a brighter future. I am just me, a flawed and in many ways weak man.

Even though I have known these facts for many years I have never had a reason to try and live my life any differently – until I met a certain man. He was sitting in a real estate office wearing the most ridiculous pair of sunglasses I’ve ever seen and when he removed them and showed me his huge and endlessly beautiful brown eyes I knew that I had found that reason.

I know that I treated you cruelly on that day when I ignored you when you found the courage to tell me of your feelings. I admit that I was afraid and I panicked. My fears are no excuse and I intend to spend the rest of my life making up for my cowardly actions.

Of course I can only do that if you allow me to. I fear that you may never forgive me. I am also afraid that because I am thirty five and you are only twenty six that you may think of me as an old man, someone to be pitied.

I have spent the time away from you sorting out my life. Yesterday I handed in my resignation at my father’s firm. I don’t know whether I will ever be able to repair the rift in our family that this has caused, but I am sure that I have done the right thing for both the firm and myself. I now know exactly who I am and what I want from the rest of my life. I can only picture a future that contains you in it; my existence will be an empty one if I am to be left alone to start this new phase of my life. I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive my foolish mistakes and we can find a way to start a relationship together and work towards a shared future.

Please enjoy the painting even if you reject me. Since I am not very good at expressing my feelings (this letter is a perfect example of that – I think) I put all of my heart into it. I hope that you can recognize what I am trying to say and I hope that when you are ready that you will come and find me.

I will be waiting for you in what I hope will become our house as we step towards the future – together.

Yours always and forever
Ohno Satoshi

The words were a little blurry where Jun’s tears had dropped on the pages while he was reading as he carefully folded the letter and slid it back into the envelope.

Ohno’s behaviour and certain remarks he had made when they were together began to make more sense to Jun now. The question was whether he was ready to forgive the older man and once again make himself vulnerable by giving his heart into the care of another person.

++++

Jun was standing in front of the door, debating with himself whether what he was doing was sensible or not. Just as he was about to turn and walk away the door was flung open and Ohno was standing there looking at him with equal measures of hope and worry in his warm brown eyes.

It had been almost a week since Jun had read the letter and despite Nino's constant nagging he had waited until now to visit Ohno in his new home. Sho had told him that Nino had dropped the keys off to him at his studio two days before. There seemed to be a natural sort of friendship developing between Nino and Ohno despite the dramas of the previous weeks.

Ohno was looking casual and years younger than the last time Jun had seen him, dressed in a loose fitting shirt and paint spattered jeans. It was the first time Jun had seen him without his suit and tie, and his heart skipped as he realized that he was even more handsome when dressed like this. At that very moment he wanted nothing more than to fling himself into Ohno's arms and never let go, but first he had to be completely sure of the other man's feelings.

"Hello."

"Welcome to my home. It was found for me by the best, smartest and most irresistible real estate agent in town." Ohno replied with a welcoming smile, but Jun was still wary as he followed him inside the house.

"Is there anything else you're hiding from me?" Jun asked as he stepped inside.

"No. Well, maybe one thing," Ohno replied.

Jun was instantly wary, looking at Ohno with huge scared eyes.

"I'm trying not to show that I'm frightened by how much I missed you and by how much I need you in my life."

Ohno leant in and gently kissed him. Jun closed his eyes as the kiss deepened. Ohno pulled away with a sigh, gently cupping Jun's face with his hand.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that."

"Then why didn't you?" Jun replied in a dreamy voice.

"Because I wanted to have my life sorted out before I involved you, and now that I've broken away from my family we can start anew, together." Ohno said as he drew Jun into his arms "But we will only have the money from my paintings and your work to live on."

Jun remembered the price of Ohno's art works that he'd seen on the internet and knew that starvation was a long way off.

"Don't worry about that, we will be just fine."

"But I want to give you everything you need.” Ohno whispered in his ear.

"If I have you, then I already have everything I need."

Their lips met once more in a tender, loving kiss.

"I really should be leaving and let you get properly settled in. I have to meet with some clients tonight," Jun said as he reluctantly pulled back from Ohno's embrace.

"No."

"No?"

"You are going nowhere. I'm not letting you slip through my fingers again, so I've decided you're staying with me all night - or at least until I've given you twenty three orgasms."

Jun found himself a bit breathless. "Twenty three? That's a very specific number."

"I'm a very specific sort of man," Ohno replied, as he took Jun by the hand and steered him towards the bedroom.

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bleu-skies.livejournal.com

These days I find myself reading Juntoshi. I'm just so... !!!!!! Ugh they're so cute. This was great! :) I'm so glad they had a happy ending. I was sorta freaking out a bit cuz it said Angst AU and I'm like, HOW MUCH ANGST IS ANGST THOUGH?

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Oh precious days, always brimming with happiness

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