Keep Your Distance

[learashi]

Pairing: Sakumoto

Rating: PG

Summary: Jun has only ever loved one man, and after their breakup he never expected to ever hear from Sho again. Five years later, Sho unexpectedly contacts Jun with an impossible request. For an entire weekend, they have to pretend to still be a couple in front of Sho’s extended family. Despite his fears that his heart may not survive the experience, and against his better judgement, Jun agrees to the outlandish scheme.

A/N: This was written for the lovely bon_san at fishing_mj. Happy New Year everyone! And thank you to those who continue to read and comment on my random scribblings. May your dreams for 2019 come true.







Jun glared at his phone before shoving it under the precariously balanced pile of files on the corner of his desk. They teetered alarmingly and would have fallen if his colleague and friend Aiba hadn’t been passing at that very second.

“Ooops. Careful, Jun-kun. Just imagine if they fell off and you had to sort them all back into order.” Aiba straightened up the files and tried to catch a glimpse of Jun’s phone at the same time.

“Thanks, Aiba-chan. The way my day has been going so far I’m amazed they didn’t,” Jun sighed, pushing his glasses back up onto the bridge of his nose.

Aiba grabbed hold of Jun’s shoulders and began to massage them a little too vigorously. “You are far too tense. We should go for drinks tonight and drag Nino with us.”

“Drag me where?” Nino asked as he drifted over from his own desk, coffee cup in hand. “You know I have an important date with my television tonight.”

As Jun heard his phone making muffled noises beneath his paperwork, he decided that Aiba’s idea wasn’t so bad. A few drinks with his two best friends seemed like the perfect distraction and Jun found himself accepting Aiba’s invitation. “I'm in.”

“Don’t even bother trying to weasel out of it, Nino. We all know that you record everything and watch it later anyway,” Aiba said as he attempted to convince Nino to join them. It seemed as if Jun had something weird going on and Aiba wanted Nino there to help him discover exactly what it was.

Unable to ignore the frantic signals that Aiba was trying to send him with his eyebrows, Nino made a calming gesture towards him behind Jun’s back. Jun was wearing an almost haunted expression as Nino offered him the coffee. Even though Nino had made it for himself he figured that Jun definitely needed it more. Just as Jun was about to take it from Nino’s hand, a muted buzzing sound came from the corner of Jun’s desk. Jun’s hand jerked as he shied away from the sound, spilling coffee onto the pile of tourist visa applications Jun was working on.

With a muffled curse, Jun tried to save the papers as Aiba ran to get some paper towels to sop up the liquid. Over the three years of their friendship, Nino had never seen Jun this jumpy before and it worried him. Nino was more than happy to sacrifice his precious down time if it would help Jun, even if it meant babysitting Aiba afterwards, since the man seemed capable of getting drunk just from the fumes of someone else’s drink.

“Okay,” Nino agreed. “But you guys are buying the drinks.

***

“Jun? You okay? You seem distracted.”

Jun hastily dropped the phone onto the table and painted on a smile. “Sorry, Nino. What was the evil boss-man doing to you today? Don't tell me he actually dared to ask you to do some work?”

Nino picked up his mostly empty drink and glared at Jun over the rim. “I was actually suggesting that you buy me a refill. And since you weren't even listening, you can make it a double.”

Jun was so distracted by the message he obediently complied, even though he had already bought the previous round of drinks.

When Jun returned carrying a tray full of beer and snacks, Aiba was staring at Jun’s phone with apparent fascination. Jun almost dropped the tray on Nino’s head in his haste to snatch the phone out of Aiba’s sticky fingers.

“Who is ‘Sho-kun’ and why is he so desperate to talk to you?” Aiba asked, widening his eyes innocently as he handed it back to Jun.

“Nobody, not your business, and more to the point: how come you can access my messages?”

“Twenty three messages, that's how many Mr Nobody left,” Nino replied, blithely ignoring Jun’s question.

Aiba, however, lacked the ability to not answer a direct question. “Nino, of course; he doesn't run the IT department at the Agency for nothing.”

“We work for Arashi Luxury Tours, not the CIA.” Jun rolled his eyes and slipped his phone into his jacket pocket, hoping that the ensuing bickering would make the other two forget all about his unread messages. “There is no need to monitor all incoming communications.”

“Ah, but we think that there is a definite need to monitor communications from mysterious men.” Aiba grinned and picked up a chicken skewer. He eagerly stuffed it into his face, almost stabbing himself in the roof of his mouth with the pointy end.

Nino nibbled on a meatball with much more delicacy and questioned Jun with more delicacy also. “I meant it when I asked if you were okay. You seemed really jumpy at work today, and not just because you were organizing an intimate luxury tour for a group of forty three. If this person is harassing you, then you should block them.”

Surrendering to the inevitable Jun decided to confide in his friends. They would only keep nagging at him until he cracked anyway. At least this way he might actually get some useful advice before they were all too drunk.

***

Aiba happily spooned cream cake into his mouth and nodded periodically as Jun began to speak. Nino sipped on a glass of whiskey in lieu of dessert. Somehow everything had ended up being paid for by Jun, who barely ate or drank. His stomach was a churning mess as he drank a glass of oolong tea and gazed at the screen of his phone warily.

“We started dating in his last year of high school. He is a year older. I followed him to the same university one year behind and our relationship continued. We were happy and even his great-grandmother approved of us.”

Aiba stopped eating momentarily, halted by the sadness in Jun’s voice. “It sounds like the perfect relationship. Why do you sound so unhappy when you talk about it?”

Jun abandoned his tea in favour of some of Nino’s whiskey. “It was perfect, or so I thought at the time. But Sho graduated first and then he was gone.”

“He died?” Aiba gasped drunkenly.

Nino cuffed the side of Aiba's head. “Idiot! How can he be texting if he’s dead?”

“Oh!” Aiba blinked owlishly and licked the whipped cream off the back of his fork. “Sorry. I think this cake is making me dizzy.”

“And that has nothing to do with the two beers you’ve drunk, I suppose?” Nino slid Aiba’s half empty glass out of reach and gestured for Jun to continue.

“He didn't die, but our relationship gradually did. He took up a job offer in South Korea and that was the beginning of the end. When he moved to Seoul to manage a cosmetic surgery clinic we agreed to continue the relationship long distance. But with me still having a year of university to complete it made things difficult. He was in the adult world in a foreign country and I was living at home with my parents and still doing homework.”

“Here.” Nino refilled Jun’s glass and his own, ignoring Aiba who whined when he missed out and pouted unhappily, earning a consoling pat on the shoulder from Nino instead. “And then what happened?”

“Ooooh did you fly all the way to Korea and walk in on him boinking someone else like in one of those drama series?”

“Aiba!”

“Sorry, sorry.” Aiba stuffed enough cake into his mouth to muffle any future outbursts.

Jun wet his finger and ran it lightly around the rim of his glass, creating an eerie sound which somehow matched his mood. “Nothing so dramatic. We merely drifted apart. Naturally Sho was very busy with his new job and gradually we talked less. Which was fine, really. I had lots of studying to do as well, of course.”

To Nino it appeared that Jun was trying to convince himself that the breakup had been mutual, so he couldn’t help digging just a little deeper. Jun had kept this former relationship completely to himself. This was the first time that either he or Aiba had heard any mention of this ‘Sho’ and Nino’s curiosity was piqued; especially as talking about him seemed to be so painful for Jun. “So you two had a talk and decided to end it?”

“Not exactly.” The pink flush which bloomed across Jun’s face spoke volumes. “I rang regularly, but Sho-kun was always too busy to take my calls. Eventually I stopped calling and never heard from him. It’s been five years now. I guess I was simply too clingy.”

Nino bit his tongue and took a deep swig of his drink. Clingy was the last word he would use to describe Jun. Warm, caring and shy sprung to mind, but definitely not clingy. He could however come up with quite a few words to describe this Sho asshole who had dumped Jun without even having the guts to break things off in person, and most of them were four letter ones.

***

There was a chill in the air, hinting at the coming autumn as the three of them emerged from the restaurant. Aiba was already in the taxi, gazing blearily around him as if wondering how he got there. Nino took the opportunity to have a quiet word with Jun before they separated, shutting the taxi door for a moment before he joined Aiba. “So what are you going to do about those messages? Do you really want to stir up a bunch of old memories?”

“I don't know.” Jun ran his fingers through his hair and frowned. “At least it's the weekend, so I have space to think.”

“You can call me any time if you need to talk. Or if you want me to get Aiba to beat him up.

Jun spluttered with laughter. “Nice of you to volunteer Aiba.”

“Well, I have no idea how big this Sho person is…”

“Thanks anyway,” Jun said as he opened the taxi door for Nino. “I guess it's the thought that counts.”

***

Rather than take a taxi, Jun decided that the walk home might clear his head and put things into perspective. The moon was full and almost bright enough to compete with the city lights. As he walked, Jun pulled out his phone and idly scrolled through the long list of unread messages. Sho had always been persistent, and it seemed as if nothing had changed in that area at least.

Sho was the one who first asked Jun out, persevering when Jun turned him down the first time. It seemed that Sho had understood that Jun’s refusal had stemmed from crippling shyness and not from a dislike of Sho, or of what he was asking of him.

After dating for a while, Sho had taken Jun to visit Sho’s favourite person in the world, making Jun feel as if he too was an important part of Sho’s life. Great-grandmother Sakurai was already over ninety but still possessed a sprightly attitude despite her walking stick. Her eyes sparkled like two bright currants as she greeted Jun with a warm hug and a pinch on the cheek. In her youth she had been a renowned beauty and had outlived three husbands. The rest of Sho’s family had been just as warm, especially Sho’s older cousin Satoshi, who was the son of one of Great-grandmother’s step-children from her second husband. Sho was the eldest son of her firstborn son by her third husband. The logistics of the relationship made Jun’s brain hurt, but in his calm, quiet way, Satoshi eased Jun through any potential awkwardness at meeting the people most important to Sho for the first time.

By the time Jun made it home his head was clear and so was his intent. It seemed that rather than eating himself up with speculation, the best thing to do was speak to Sho directly and then get back to getting on with the rest of his life.

***

“Jun.”

Sho’s voice was just as rich and velvety as Jun remembered. Jun swallowed hard and tried to gather his wits as he sat down on the park bench next to Sho.

“You look good, really good.” Sho cleared his throat nervously as he turned to face Jun. He meant every word. Jun had filled out in the five years since Sho had last seen him. He was no longer the skinny, awkward student with a fondness for oversized clothes. Jun wore well-tailored trousers teamed with a light blue striped shirt. The top button of the shirt was undone revealing Jun’s collarbones and highlighting his long neck. “But then, you always did.”

“Thanks.” Jun was finding it hard to make his voice louder than a whisper as he thrust a takeaway cup in Sho’s direction. “Here. Coffee. I hope you still take three sugars.”

Sho accepted the cup and gazed at Jun with surprise. “You still remember?”

“Your sweet tooth is pretty unique,” Jun replied, catching Sho’s eye for the first time. He pulled a slightly crumpled paper bag out of his pocket and offered it to Sho. “Blueberry cheesecake muffin?”

Sho’s mouth watered at the prospect as he gingerly took it from Jun, careful to not make contact with Jun’s fingers. The last thing he wanted was to scare Jun away. He had a huge favour to ask of someone to whom he had no right to expect even the tiniest speck of help, but hoped to rely on Jun’s kind nature.

Sho’s confusion at Jun’s generosity must have shown on his face as Jun dryly responded with a wry smile. “Don’t worry; the muffin was a freebie because I bought two coffees.”

“Well, thank you anyway.” Sho eagerly looked into the bag and breathed the intoxicating scent of warm muffin. “Want half?”

“No, thanks.” Jun politely declined and took a sip of his coffee, not because he wanted it, but because it gave him the perfect excuse to not watch Sho tearing into the muffin with obvious enjoyment.

“You never were a fan of anything sweet,” Sho said around a mouthful of muffin. “Apart from that caramel flavoured….never mind.”

Jun felt himself blushing to the roots of his hair as he remembered the caramel lube that Sho had left lying around in the kitchen which he’d accidentally squirted into his coffee thinking that it was flavoured syrup.

Jun decided it best to cut off these reminiscences before they strayed into even more dangerous territory. “So, you said that you had something important to ask me?”

Sho fiddled with the lid of his coffee as he spoke. “Great-grandmother Sakurai turns one hundred in two weeks’ time. She has a whole celebratory weekend planned at the family beach cottage and she wants you to attend the party.”

“One hundred? That’s quite an achievement. I’m happy for her. She was always so lovely to me when we were dating,” Jun exclaimed. “But why would she want me there?”

“Because she kind of thinks we are still together.”

Jun glared at Sho who squirmed slightly. “And why does she think that?”

“Because I didn't have the heart to tell her that we broke up.”

“Didn't have the guts, you mean,” Jun snapped.

“It’s not like that. She hasn't been well over the past few years, and I didn't want to upset her,” Sho countered. “I always meant to tell her, but the time never seemed right, and then somehow five years had passed….I'm a coward aren't I?”

Sho looked so forlorn that Jun almost felt sorry for him - almost. “So what do you want me to do?”

“I know it’s a lot to ask, but Granny Sakurai is expecting you to accompany me over the entire weekend. I know it’s ridiculous and awkward and difficult and I deserve to have my lies exposed...but I really don’t want to disappoint Granny. This could be the last birthday she ever has.”

Jun tried to ignore Sho’s huge pleading eyes by closing his own. This only made things worse as a vision of Sho’s tiny, hunched, but charmingly feisty great grandmother floated to the forefront of his mind. Right from the first time Sho had nervously introduced him to her, she had embraced Jun as part of the family. Any fears that she might object to her great-grandson’s same-sex relationship had been immediately quashed.

Sho’s guilty voice broke into Jun’s thoughts. “You know what; just forget it. I'll tell her the truth.”

“You said she's been sick? Nothing serious I hope?”

“Jun, she’s turning one hundred, everything is serious at that age. But yes, she has been having some problems with her heart. ”

Jun sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “What would I have to do? Nothing too intimate, I hope?”

“Nonono. No kissing or anything like that.” Sho had barely dared to hope that Jun would agree, and now it seemed that he was actually giving his proposal some serious consideration. “Just be by my side at mealtimes and the party on Saturday night to give Granny the impression that we are a couple. The rest of the time would be your own. The beach there is really beautiful.”

“I'm not sure.” Jun was tempted by the thought of breathing fresh sea air and relaxing for a couple of days. Although he travelled extensively with tour groups he rarely had any time to himself to actually enjoy himself.

“Please, Jun.” Sho turned huge pleading eyes to Jun. “I'm begging you. Not on my behalf, but on Great-grandmother’s.”

It was as if the preceding five years had never happened. One look from Sho and Jun felt himself falling. Jun looked into the dark pools of brown and nodded slowly. “Okay. I’ll do it. For Granny Sakurai.”

In his excitement Sho’s arms reached out reflexively to hug Jun but he managed to contain himself, changing at the last moment to a demure handshake. “I'll be in touch with the details. Thank you so much. You have no idea how much this means to me.”

Sho’s hand was warm as he gripped Jun’s hand and smiled almost shyly. Jun looked down at the familiar shape of Sho’s long fingers wrapping around his. A memory of those fingers trailing over his bare skin, caressing him softly as Sho did things to him which made him scream Sho’s name, clouded his mind. He stuttered some words in response to Sho’s thank you, mumbling goodbye as Sho left him with promises to send him the details of the weekend celebrations.

As Jun sat on the bench and watched Sho walk away he was relieved. Relieved that Sho hadn't figured out that had ultimately agreed to the scheme because of Sho and the feelings he had reawakened in Jun’s heart. Puffing out his cheeks, Jun released a deep breath in an attempt to pull himself together.

Jun figured that by the time the weekend arrived, he would have succeeded in burying those feelings somewhere deep, deep, down where they would never see the light of day.

***

“That beautiful boy of yours had better be free to attend my party. Sometimes I think he’s a figment of my imagination.” Sho’s granny tapped her stick impatiently against the leg of the dining table as if to emphasize her words.

“He’s a busy man, but barring an emergency, he’ll definitely be here next weekend,” Sho replied, catching Satoshi’s eye across the table and cringing at the frown being directed at him.

“It’s great to see you back home, at least for a little while,” Satoshi said, raising his glass in Sho’s direction. “I'm sure that Jun must be thrilled too.”

Sho attempted to kick his cousin under the table, but stubbed his toe instead. The pain was eye watering, but he maintained his smile until his great-grandmother excused herself from the table. She rarely stayed up after nine pm, but she encouraged Sho and Satoshi to stay and help themselves to dessert and coffee.

Sho escorted her to her room before returning to the dining room where Satoshi was helping himself to a slab of green tea roll cake.

“What was that?” Sho hissed, keeping his voice down so as to not disturb their granny.

“You know that I've never approved of you pretending to still be together with Jun. As a matter of fact, I don't even understand why you< i>aren't with him.”

Sho poured them both a cup of coffee and sat down with a sigh. “It’s complicated.”

“Life is only as complicated as you want to make it,” Ohno replied darkly. “Just make sure that you don’t hurt him all over again with this harebrained scheme of yours.”

***

For once their workaholic boss was out of the office and Jun, Nino, and Aiba were taking advantage of the lighter atmosphere while they had the place to themselves. The other two staff members were away attending the meetings which their boss should have been handling. Unfortunately for him, he’d been struck down by a gastric issue. Amazingly, it was nothing too serious, and the current source of their amusement.

“Well that's what he gets for stealing other people's lunches,” Nino snickered.

“I feel bad that he didn't see my warning note on the bento,” Aiba fretted. “It was over a month old.”

Nino handed out doughnuts to go with their coffee. “It’s not your fault that he’s such a greedy git.”

“It’s true,” Jun added soothingly. “To most normal people rice that green would be a clue that the food was no good. Speaking of food, where did these come from?” He put the doughnut down and looked at it critically.

“Don't worry; I paid for them out of petty cash. They weren't part of Aiba’s amateur science experiment,” Nino said before taking a bite out of a pineapple iced one.

“I really wanted to see how tall the mould could grow,” Aiba sighed as he selected a doughnut.

“Oh well, you can always have my unwashed coffee cup to start again,” Nino offered.

Aiba nodded happily as he dithered between a black forest and a strawberry cream, finally deciding on both.

Nino noticed that Jun wasn’t eating the plain cinnamon doughnut he’d absently taken from the box. It was abandoned on the spare desk they were using as a luncheon area, right alongside his untouched coffee.

“As much as it pains me to go outdoors on a perfectly fine weekend, I think we should do something this Saturday,” Nino prodded Jun, who looked like he needed cheering up.

“Count me in!” Aiba’s eyes sparkled at the prospect as he licked powdered sugar off his fingers.

“Oh, I already have plans,” Jun murmured without even thinking.

“But you never have plans,” Aiba blurted tactlessly. “Does it have something to do with the blast-from-the-past-ex?”

The sight of Jun squirming on his chair, gave Aiba and Nino all the information they needed.

“It does, doesn’t it? Are you two getting back together?” Aiba asked. A worried frown creased his forehead. “Because I don’t think that’s a very good idea, Jun-chan. Excuse me for saying it, but he obviously hurt you a whole lot.”

The warmth and caring in Aiba’s voice prompted Jun to look up into Aiba’s gentle brown eyes.

Quickly looking away, Jun gulped and blinked back the embarrassing beads of moisture which had sprung up underneath his lashes. Aiba often left people with the superficial and mistaken impression of being a ball of sunshine with no deep thoughts, but he also had the uncanny ability to see to the crux of the matter within seconds.

“We aren’t getting back together,” Jun protested weakly. “I’m just doing him a favour.”

Aiba and Nino exchanged a look of disbelief, but Nino was the first to speak. “Let me get this straight. This guy who broke up with you in such a gutless fashion five years ago rings you out of the blue and asks for a favour and you immediately say yes? Have you lost your mind?”

“Nino has a point Jun. You don’t owe him a thing. Why did you agree to whatever it is?” Aiba asked gently.

Jun sighed and swivelled around on his chair, spinning in an endless loop until accidentally cracking his ankle bone against the metal table leg. He yelped and rubbed the sore spot as Aiba and Nino continued to wait patiently. They knew from experience that Jun would eventually talk to them.

“It’s his great-grandmother’s one hundredth birthday and he invited me along to the family celebration. She's a lovely lady and apparently she hasn't been well. I didn't feel like I could refuse.” Jun took a bite from his doughnut and stared at his friends defiantly.

“That's so sweet,” Aiba exclaimed, rummaging in the jumbo box of doughnuts for his third.

Nino narrowed his eyes and examined Jun’s face. “That is not sweet. It makes no sense whatsoever.

Our Jun-pon is lovely and all, but why would she expect an ex-boyfriend of Sho’s to be there after five years?”

Jun blinked first. “Because she doesn't know about the ‘ex’ part. Sho didn't want to upset her so he kind of didn't get around to telling her about the breakup.”

“The same way he didn't manage to tell you either?” Nino continued to stare unblinkingly at Jun. “I still don’t know why you think you owe this guy anything.”

Aiba placed a calming hand on Nino’s arm. “I'm sure that Jun-chan has his reasons.”

“It doesn’t matter. I’ve already decided to do it and Sho is picking me up on Saturday morning.” Jun was wondering the same thing as Nino, but he was already committed.

Aiba plopped another doughnut onto Jun’s plate with an encouraging smile. “I’m sure it will be fun, and don’t forget you can ring either of at any time if you need rescuing.”

“Thanks, Aiba, but I’m sure that everything will be fine. I‘ll go and make his Granny happy, enjoy a nice weekend at the beach, and come home again. How hard can it possibly be?” Jun asked, mentally crossing his fingers and hoping that his words came true.

***

The drive to the beach house was accomplished in good time and mostly in silence. Sho clutched the steering wheel tightly, casting nervous glances at Jun out of the corner of his eye as they made their way on a beautiful autumn morning.

As the sun rose higher in the clear blue sky it dispersed the slight chill in the air, bathing the scenery with a clear warm light. The atmosphere in the car, however, retained its chill. Jun didn’t even glance in Sho’s direction once. He had his sunglasses on and spent the entire trip staring fixedly in front of him out of the windscreen on his side.

The silence became too much for Sho who cleared his throat, before offering a suggestion. “Perhaps some music would be good. I always think that listening to something relaxing helps to make the time go faster.”

Offering Jun what he hoped was a reassuring smile, Sho switched on the radio of the rental car. Approximately one nanosecond later the speakers almost exploded as a barrage of death metal threatened to blow the roof off the car. Torn between covering his ears and attempting to stop the noise, Sho ineffectually pushed random buttons and dials on the console in the hopes that it would work. Unfortunately one of these turned out to be the one controlling the volume, and he definitely didn’t turn it the right way.

Just as Sho thought his brain was about to melt and trickle out of his ears, Jun casually leant over and flicked off the stereo.

The sudden silence was broken by Jun’s giggle. The look on Sho’s face was priceless, making it impossible for Jun to maintain his aloof silence. “Yep. Totally relaxed after that. Worked a treat.”

Sho tossed his head back as he joined in with Jun’s laughter, his eyes squeezing into half-moons. “Smooth is my middle name.”

“Oh, absolutely. I feel so very calm after that,” Jun snickered. “They should play that at meditation retreats.”

Guilty feelings about more than just the music wormed their way into Sho’s consciousness and his expression gradually fell. He pulled over onto the side of the road and turned to look at Jun, who gazed back at him questioningly. “I’m sorry.”

“I think I will be able to survive my temporary immersion into death metal, even though I am currently fighting the urge to buy a studded leather jacket right now,” Jun joked. His voice was light, but his facial expression spoke volumes.

Sho felt another stab of guilt at the hurt he saw in the warm brown depths of Jun’s eyes. “I’m sorry for everything. I thought that by gradually fading out of your life it would make it easier for you. A long distance relationship is hard to maintain, even when one of the parties isn't working fifteen hour days. I wanted you to be able to concentrate on your studies, not waste time waiting for me. I should’ve broken it off and told you straight rather than just disappearing.”
Jun angrily pulled off his sunglasses revealing a face ravaged by tears. He scrubbed at his face with the back of his hand. “Easier? You think that leaving me sitting by the phone every night was easy?”

Sho instinctively reached over and grabbed Jun’s hand, holding it tightly. “I know now that what I did was so very wrong. I know that you will never forgive me and that’s what I deserve. That's why I am so grateful that you agreed to accompany me this weekend.”

“Don’t kid yourself into thinking I did it for your benefit,” Jun huffed as he tugged his hand free from Sho’s grasp. “I’m doing this for Granny Sakurai. She was always so kind and welcoming, and treated me like a member of your family. As for forgiving you, I forgot about what we had between us long ago, so you don’t have to worry about me or about my hurt feelings.”

The wobble in Jun’s voice contradicted his tough words, but Sho decided that this was neither the time nor the place to discuss the issue. Hopefully there would be more opportunities over the weekend to finally put things right with Jun.

***

“Are you kidding me? This place is huge.” Jun’s eyes were wide as he gazed at the large main building, surrounded by various outbuildings. The house, which was perched on a low cliff, appeared to hover over the clear blue ocean. “You said it was a cottage.”

“It’s how it’s always been referred to by the family. This is my first visit,” Sho replied. He hated how defensive he sounded and even worse, snobbish.

Sho, who had never visited his great-grandmother here before, was equally impressed. The house had been undergoing renovations since his graduation from university and had only recently been completed. After the death of her third husband, Granny Sakurai had wanted a new beginning, and overseeing the work had provided the perfect distraction. The fact that the workmen were young and well-built had perhaps provided an even bigger distraction, but none of the family dared to say the words out loud.

“All this time and I should've been referring to you as “young master”,” Jun laughed. “My deepest apologies,” he added with a mocking bow.

“Very funny,” Sho growled as he lifted their cases out of the car.

“Oh, no you don't. I can carry my own things.” Jun tugged at the bags, trying to wrestle them from Sho who refused to let go.

“No way. You’re my guest.” Sho tugged back equally hard.

The bags went back and forth as they both yanked on the handles. Eventually Jun surrendered, letting his arm go slack. Sho tugged the bags one last time, pulling Jun into him. Their bodies were flush against each other and their noses almost touching.

Sho felt his face turning red as Jun stared at him without blinking. He was close enough to count Jun’s luxuriant eyelashes. Sho almost dropped the bags as sweat made his palms slick. He hadn't forgotten the rich colour of Jun’s eyes, but they were so much more arresting when viewed up close.
The tips of Jun’s ears turned red as he realized that he had been staring at Sho and not breathing. He gave himself a mental shake, turning away abruptly to retrieve his suit bag. This was going to be harder than he thought.

***

As they made their way into the main building, a neatly dressed staff member glided across the tiled floor and relieved them of their luggage. Jun reluctantly released his suit bag; somehow he’d been using it to keep Sho at a safe distance. The moment earlier when they’d almost touched had left him feeling unnerved.

A short man wearing a Hawaiian shirt, sunglasses perched on his head and a pair of flip flops gestured to the staff. “Thanks. Can you please take these to the sleeping wing? I'll show my cousin and his boyfriend the arrangements later.”

“Satoshi? What on earth are you wearing?” Sho, and everyone else including Jun, were smartly dressed in honour of the occasion. Satoshi, however, always seemed to wear almost the same clothing no matter what. “You couldn't make an exception for once?”

Satoshi pointed to the lurid-coloured tie draped loosely around his neck, without actually being knotted, as he ambled over to greet them.

“Sho, you're here at last,” Satoshi hugged his cousin before walking over to Jun and offering him his hand and a soft smile. “Jun, it's been so long. You look great. Welcome to the family beach house. Great-grandmother is resting after lunch, but she is excited to see you again.”

“Hi Satoshi.” Jun took Satoshi’s hand and was surprised to be drawn into a hug. Satoshi was one of the least demonstrative people Jun had ever met, so such a warm greeting after such a long time threw him off balance. “This place is beautiful.”

“Not as beautiful as you,” Granny Sakurai said as she popped out from nowhere almost giving Jun a heart attack as she raised a gnarled hand and pinched the soft skin of his cheek. “Where have you been hiding yourself?”

“I...um…” Jun’s mind was blank. He and Sho had spent an entire evening coming up with a cover story, but now that the weekend was here, he found himself balking at the idea of lying to such a sweet old lady.

Sho jumped to Jun’s rescue. “Jun has been promoted at work and spends a lot of time escorting tours overseas. Long distance relationships are hard.”

Granny Sakurai slipped her arm through the crook of Jun’s elbow and steered him over to where tea was being served. As she did so, she cast a beady eye over her shoulder at Sho. “I’m sure that it is hard work, but if you truly love someone then you can overcome any obstacles. You two are the perfect example of this aren't you? After all, you wouldn't want to let this lovely boy slip through your fingers.”

Jun could feel heat creeping into his cheeks. This was beginning to happen far too often and he tried to will the red to fade.

In line with keeping up the charade, Sho stepped behind Jun, winding his arms around his waist and leaning his chin over Jun’s shoulder. “You don't have to worry Granny. I’d be crazy to let Jun go.”

“Well you will have to let him go right now or else he won’t be able to drink his tea,” Granny Sakurai said batting Sho’s hands away. “Or eat any of these delicious sweets. I ordered the caterers to supply those cherry cheesecakes you love so much.”

Sho immediately released Jun with an excited squeak and made a pounce for the desserts, almost colliding with Satoshi who leapt upon them at the same time. Satoshi elbowed Sho out of his way and began shovelling cheesecakes onto his plate. Sho poked Satoshi in the side and snatched the plate from his grasp. Satoshi pouted and picked up an empty plate, looking at Sho with sad eyes until his cousin took pity on him. They both happily tucked into the sweets and Sho couldn't hold back a quiet moan of pleasure as he took a huge bite of cheesecake. Somehow, he and Jun had forgotten to stop for lunch on the journey to the sea. Normally not one to miss a meal, Sho had wanted to escape from the awkward atmosphere of the car as soon as possible and his stomach was now demanding that he make up for his neglect.

Jun couldn’t keep the fond smile from his face as he watched Sho eat. It was one of the many things about Sho which Jun had found irresistible. Jun had often joked that Sho had loved food more than he loved him, and unfortunately the joke had turned out to be a fact.

“Don’t look so sad,” Granny said, passing Jun a cup of green tea served in a wafer thin china cup. “I saw the way that Sho can’t keep his hands off you. Don’t worry; you can sneak off with Sho to enjoy yourselves just as soon as you’ve indulged an old lady for a little while.”

Jun’s hands shook slightly as he accepted the cup and he took a deep sip to steady himself.

“So, tell me, what it is that you love about Sho-kun,” Granny Sakurai said as she nibbled on a tiny scone and nudged Jun to encourage him to eat one of the treats arrayed on the platter in front of him.

Jun shook his head and took another sip of tea instead. There was no way that he was going to manage to swallow food, considering how dry his throat was. For Jun this was actually an easy but equally painful question to answer. The thing that he had loved most about Sho was also the cause of their breakup. “The passion which he has for everything he does, no matter how mundane. When he does something he focuses solely on that thing to the exclusion of everything else. If you talk to him, he listens closely and looks at you as if you are the most important person in the world.”

Sho balanced a plate piled high with morsels of tasty food as he carefully made his way back to the table. He knew that Jun was very particular about what he ate and often switched from one health kick to the next with no warning. Therefore, he’d picked up a little of everything which was on offer in the hopes of finding something which would make Jun happy, since he felt guilty about not feeding Jun on the journey to the beach.

What Sho hadn’t anticipated was catching the last part of the conversation between his great-grandmother and Jun. He slowed his steps to a crawl and listened carefully as Jun continued to talk about him.

Sho’s granny was nodding and patting Jun’s hand kindly as she said, “He was always the same, even when he was tiny and I don’t suppose he will ever change. He always knew exactly what he wanted.

“And what he doesn’t want,” Jun added before he spied Sho hovering and quickly stopped speaking.

Sho ducked his head guiltily before plastering on a smile as he closed the distance to the table. He placed the overloaded plate down and sat beside Jun. Jun and Granny Sakurai chatted about the beach house as if they hadn’t been discussing Sho only moments before. As he sat there allowing their words wash over him, Sho absently stuffed a succession of pastries and snacks into his mouth. It had been impossible for Sho to mistake the hurt conveyed by Jun’s tone and it had caused Sho more pain than he’d expected. He felt guilty, of course, for being such an ass five years ago, but he also realized that his feelings for Jun, which he’d clinically frozen back then, were starting to once again flow through his mind and body. This was not a good development, and could only lead to renewed pain for both of them.

***

“This is your room.” Satoshi had offered to show Sho and Jun to their accommodation, and a not insubstantial part of him was looking forward to their reactions.

Sho stepped into the room, expecting a single bed, or perhaps a double. Instead there was an enormous four poster king size bed smothered with purple and red draperies dominating the room. It was covered in so many pillows and cushions that it was almost impossible to see the actual mattress beneath.

Sho tried to edge back out of the room. “Sorry. Jun, this is obviously your room.”

Jun immediately bristled. He glared at the over-the-top froufrou decorations before pinning Sho down with a narrow-eyed glare. “And why would you think that? Do I actually look like the kind of person who likes frilly throw pillows?”

“I don’t. You don’t. My great-grandmother has something of a theatrical taste in decor.” Sho gulped and edged behind his cousin. “I merely meant that as a guest you should have this room because of the size of the bed and because of the ocean views.”

Sidestepping around Sho, Satoshi walked over to the wide bay window and flung open the curtains. An endless vista of blue sky merging with the ever-changing blue of the sea was revealed.

Jun gasped and joined Satoshi at the window, drifting over as if drawn by an invisible string. “Wow! On second thoughts, this room is definitely my style.”

Satoshi hid a small smile. “Actually, this room is for the two of you.”

“What?” Sho and Jun squawked in perfect unison.

“Don't look so surprised. You two are supposed to be in a blissfully happy long-term relationship. Of course everyone expects you to share a room,” Satoshi said as he arranged his face into a puzzled frown. As much as it amused him, Satoshi didn't know why they were so surprised. It made perfect sense, considering what they were attempting to pass themselves off as the perfect couple.

A lone bead of sweat formed on Sho’s forehead. “There must be another room somewhere. This house has at least twelve bedrooms.”

“And you have at least twenty relatives staying here, including me. And before you turn this room down; just think of me sharing my small twin room with third cousin Chinen. He might be tiny but he snores like a hippo. And even if there was an available room, what if someone discovered that you were sleeping apart? They’d be sure to tell Granny.”

“Satoshi’s right. If we want to keep up appearances, we need to do this. It would be terrible if Great-grandmother Sakurai caught us out,” Jun added, looking at Sho. He was feeling slightly sick at the prospect, but the wellbeing of the elderly lady was of more importance than any discomfort he might experience at being in such close proximity to Sho over the next two nights.

“Okay then,” Sho agreed reluctantly. “You take the bed and I'll sleep on the floor or something.”

Jun dropped his bag onto the floor and walked over to the enormous bed. “Don't be silly. We can share. This bed is big enough for us both without any danger of us accidentally touching.”

A vision of seeing a tousled Jun first thing in the morning danced tantalizingly through Sho’s brain, causing a minor short circuit. Lacking the ability to speak, all he could do was nod his agreement.

Jun bustled around gathering up the vast collection of pillows and placing them in a line down the middle of the bed. Sho’s fantasy faded as Jun built an effective barricade and turned to him with a satisfied grin. “Anything crosses this line and I chop it off, okay?”

“Er, okay” Sho glumly agreed. “But I am a really restless sleeper.”

“As if I could ever forget waking up to find that you’d stripped your clothes off during the night when you get too hot. But it’s autumn now, so my ruling still stands,” Jun warned Sho with a glare.

Satoshi blinked and fiddled with the curtain as he tried not to listen. “Oh look, the surf seems to be picking up. Jun do you still surf? There are plenty of boards down at the boathouse for the use of guests if you want to go down to the beach.”

“I do if I have the time, but lately work has been crazy. The new boss is a monster who thinks we should all work as many hours as he does and it’s never in single digits.” Jun sighed and looked wistfully out at the rolling waves.

“Then you should go now while the conditions are right.” Sho couldn't bear to see Jun’s yearning expression.

“I couldn't possibly. We’ve only just arrived,” Jun replied, turning his back on the surf. “It would be rude to Great-grandmother Sakurai-san.”

Sho hastened to reassure Jun. “Don't worry about it. She wants her guests to have a good time and I have business to discuss with her anyway.”

Jun was sorely tempted. “Are you sure?”

“Absolutely,” Satoshi said, taking up Sho’s argument and nudging Jun in the direction of the door. “Sho can talk boring business talk for hours and Granny is just as bad. Don’t worry about a thing.”

Jun’s eyes lit up as he allowed Satoshi to drag him out the door. He turned to Sho for confirmation. “I won't be long. If you're sure?”

“Take as long as you like. It sounds like you need the break. Plus, Granny would smack me for stopping you from having fun,” Sho said as an encouraging smile crept across his face.

Jun felt his heart give an excited little flip as a spark of happiness was kindled in his chest. The tiny spark was instantly snuffed out as Sho added, as a serious expression settled on his face. “More importantly, I really do need to discuss something with Granny without any interruptions or distractions.”

“I’ll get out of your way then.” Jun’s spark of warmth had been replaced by an angry churning of his stomach. Even though he knew he was being unreasonable by expecting anything more, once again Jun was reminded of the reason why Sho had broken up with him in the first place. It seemed as if work still took precedence in Sho’s life.

***

Shaking the water from his hair, Jun unzipped his wetsuit after placing his surfboard back on the rack with the others. He shivered slightly and wrapped a large towel around his shoulders. The waves had been perfect despite the cold water, and he’d had a great time. Jun had always found surfing to be the perfect way to give him the opportunity to clear his mind, and right now it had been a great help.

The warm water of the shower soothed his well-used muscles as Jun came to terms with the fact that he wasn't over Sho at all. Simply being around him for these few hours had been enough to stir up deeply buried feelings. Jun knew that the longer he stayed, the stronger those feelings would grow. Perhaps it would be best for both of them if he found a way to leave as soon as he could come up with a plausible excuse. He had no idea if Sho felt the same way, and he wanted to leave before he did something stupid and embarrassed himself.

After drying himself, Jun slipped into one of the robes provided along with a soft pair of fluffy slippers. He had always known on some level that Sho’s family was wealthy, but this enormous estate with direct beach frontage was on a whole new level. There were signs on the wall pointing to a sauna at the other end of the building. To Jun, who was still feeling a little chilly after spending hours in the cold sea, it sounded very appealing.

Jun found the sauna without any problems, leaving his belongings in a small locker provided for guest use before stripping down to a towel tied around his waist. He pushed open the door and walked into the steamy atmosphere. The heat hit Jun harder than he’d expected. The difference between the cold sea and the sauna was greater than he’d anticipated.

The thick steam made it hard to see, so Jun put out his hand and felt his way along the bench seat. He almost jumped out of his skin as his hand came in contact with a strong towel-clad thigh.

Snatching his hand back as if burnt Jun apologized profusely, sitting down abruptly as his legs folded underneath him in shock.

“Is this some new popular form of greeting I'm not aware of?”

“Sho!” Jun sagged with relief. “Sorry. I couldn't see for the steam.”

“Don't worry. You could’ve been a bit more to the left and got a handful of something else entirely.”

Jun felt his cheeks turning red as he shuffled slightly further away. “Don't get too excited. It was an accident.”

Sho snickered and shuffled closer to Jun again. As much as he wanted to continue teasing Jun, he decided that it would be kinder to save his dignity by changing the subject. “So how was the surfing?”

Jun’s eyes lit up as he enthusiastically began to describe his day. As he spoke he looked at Sho properly for the first time and his voice faltered as he took in the sight before him. In the five years since their parting Sho had obviously not neglected his time at the gym. Sho’s neck was strong and defined by a thick visible vein running down the side. The muscles of Sho’s upper arms and his pecs impressively developed. Thin rivulets of sweat trickled down the cleft between them, capturing Jun’s gaze and making it hard to look away. In an attempt to clear his mind, Jun took several deep breaths and reluctantly turned to look at the temperature gauge instead.

Sho was relieved when Jun averted his eyes, making it easier for him to check out Jun’s body. The change in five years was astonishing and Sho couldn't help getting an eyeful of Jun’s new broader shape. Jun’s shoulders formed a perfect triangle with his narrow waist, and the thigh which was revealed by the split in the towel Jun was wearing appeared to be strong and shapely.

“I had fun today,” Jun said, breaking into Sho’s thoughts. “You should’ve joined me.”

“Really? You wouldn't have minded?”

“Not at all.” Jun unconsciously moved a little closer to Sho. “It reminded me of old times. Remember when we were at university and we went to the beach on our holidays? You got sunburned and we couldn't have sex for two weeks.”

Sho’s face burned in an echo of that time as his mind was flooded with memories of making love to Jun. Jun caught his eye and immediately blushed and turned away. An awkward silence descended, and Sho hastily poured more water over the hot rocks, engulfing them both in a cloud of steam.

As steam filled the room, the temperature rose. Jun wiped the sweat from his brow as the heat made his head spin. It was right about then that he remembered that he hadn't eaten and barely drank anything since breakfast. Jun regretted refusing Granny Sakurai’s offer of cakes in favour of only few sips of tea.

The steamy air suddenly seemed stifling as Jun struggled to catch his breath. The heat appeared to be sapping his energy and reducing his legs to the approximate strength of two slightly perished rubber bands as Jun rose shakily to his feet.

Through the fog invading Jun’s mind he could make out the concern swirling in Sho’s eyes. The last thing he wanted was to appear vulnerable in front of his ex. Jun attempted to make his way to the door, which seemed much farther away than it had on the way in. His legs refused to move though and the room seemed much dimmer as Jun’s vision blurred

Alarmed by the way that Jun was swaying on the spot, Sho jumped up and fortunately arrived by Jun’s side just in time to catch Jun as he crumpled. Half carrying and half dragging Jun, Sho managed to get them both out of the room into the cooler air of the changing room. Jun mumbled and weakly struggled to free himself as Sho steered him onto the bench seat under the window. Propping Jun up against the wall with one hand, Sho managed to open the window a crack with the other. The cool breeze which flowed through the gap seemed to revive Jun a little and he could soon support himself, only swaying slightly as Sho released him.

“Stay here while I fetch you something to drink.” Sho made sure Jun was steady before he headed to the tiny refrigerator in the corner.

“Don't make such a fuss. I’m fine.” Jun wanted desperately to escape this embarrassing situation but his legs were still stubbornly refusing to cooperate.

Grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge and a dry towel Sho hustled back to Jun and stood over him until he’d drunk half of the bottle in slow sips. “Jun why can't you admit that you need a little help? You are clearly not fine.”

“Well, I will be in just a minute, so thanks for your help and you can go back to your sauna now. I’ll just sit here and finish the water and then I’ll go back to the room.”

Sho shook his head and began to gather his things. “If you think that I’m going to let you walk back there alone you are even more addled than you look right now.”

Before he could stop himself Sho reached out and touched Jun’s cheek before brushing a stray lock of hair back behind Jun’s ear. Jun leant into Sho’s touch, closing his eyes and resting his face against Sho’s palm for the briefest of moments before coming to his senses and jerking himself away. But Sho persisted, ensuring that Jun drank most of the water and sat quietly for a few minutes before walking him back to their room. To Sho’s great surprise, Jun even permitted him to hold his hand as they went.

***

“You really don't need to go if you're not feeling up to it.” Sho looked at Jun with concern as he watched him attempt to fasten his tie with trembling hands. “I’m sure that Great-granny won’t mind if you miss dinner.”

“It’s not just any dinner; it’s the centrepiece of her celebrations. I couldn’t possibly miss it and anyway I'm fine, really. Don't worry.”

Sho brushed Jun’s hands away and took over; making sure that Jun’s tie was straight. “How can I not worry when you collapsed into my arms?”

Jun scowled and batted Sho’s hands away in return. “Don't you think that’s a bit of an exaggeration?”

Sho didn’t even bother to dignify Jun’s question with an answer. He could hardly have mistaken Jun’s weight in his arms as he dragged him out of the sauna into the fresh air. “At least eat one of those sandwiches I got Granny’s chef to make for you. There will be lots of alcohol tonight and you should have something in your stomach.”

Sho picked up one of the rare roast beef sandwiches off the plate and waggled it in front of Jun’s face. Jun responded by snapping a bite out of the sandwich and almost taking Sho’s fingertips with him. He chewed thoughtfully for a moment before snatching the sandwich away from Sho and taking a much bigger bite. It was utterly delicious and boded well for the gala dinner which was due to commence in less than twenty minutes. Sho’s attempt to steal some of the food from Jun was foiled as he found his hand being slapped away as Jun happily munched on the sandwich.

Sho’s stomach grumbled unhappily until Jun took pity on him, passing over the second half of the sandwich. They sat on the edge of the bed looking out of the bay window in a relaxed silence, watching the sky change colour as sunset approached.

***

Sho’s hand spread a small patch of warmth across the small of Jun’s back as he escorted him to the dining room. Great-grandmother Sakurai was already seated at the main table with her children and she smiled and waved cheerfully as they entered. She winked at Jun, obviously pleased by Sho’s caring gesture.

Satoshi smiled knowingly as he gestured to the two empty places beside him at the second table. “You two are fashionably late. Granny made her big entrance ten minutes ago. Jun’s looking a bit rough. Do I want to know what you’ve been up to?”

“Nothing like you're implying. Jun passed out in the sauna,” Sho replied with a glare.

Satoshi immediately looked contrite. “Sorry, Jun. Are you okay?”

“Yes, thanks, Satoshi. It was my own fault for not eating or drinking enough,” Jun admitted.

Satoshi frowned. “Are you sure you should be here?”

“That's what I said,” Sho said, casting a pointed look in Jun’s direction.

“I'm fine. I already ate a sandwich and Sho made me drink what feels like ten litres of water,” Jun sighed. “There's no way I’d miss Granny Sakurai-san’s celebratory dinner.”

“I'm pleased to hear that. But I expect Sho to take better care of you than that.”

Jun jumped as Granny Sakurai-san’s voice came from behind him.

Sho turned towards Jun, seeking his support. If they were to convince the sharp old lady that they were a couple they would need to try harder.

“It was my own fault. I should’ve eaten some of those lovely pastries you served for tea earlier. And Sho has been taking perfect care of me.” Jun snuggled against Sho’s side, and leant his head on Sho’s shoulder, gazing at him adoringly as he added, “But then he always does, don't you, honey?”

“How could I not, baby?” Sho replied, wrapping his arm tightly around Jun’s waist.

“You two are so cute together,” Granny Sakurai cooed, reaching up and pinching their cheeks with her arthritic hands.

After she left and they took their seats at a table containing Satoshi, Chinen and a host of other cousins Sho sighed with relief. “Thanks. That was well done.”

“Not a problem. She seemed really pleased, which is why I'm here.” Jun dropped into his seat, happy to be able to separate himself from Sho. The feeling of Sho’s hand around his waist was stirring up unwanted emotions and he needed a minute to compose himself.

As Sho took his place opposite Jun, their legs accidentally brushed up against each other. Their eyes met for a moment before they both hastily shifted their feet to a safe distance. A waiter who was there with the caterers glided over and offered a bottle of very expensive champagne to them and Sho saw his grandmother nodding encouragingly.

“With best wishes from Sakurai-sama,” the waiter said as he placed two frosty champagne flutes down on the table in front of them.

Jun’s eyes grew wide as he took in the label. Just one bottle was the price of two weeks rent on his apartment. Sho nodded his thanks to his granny and took charge of the bottle, dismissing the waiter. He skilfully popped the cork and carefully filled Jun’s glass, gazing into Jun’s excited eyes as he handed it to him. Chinen looked enviously in their direction and opened his mouth to protest, before being silenced by a sharp kick to his ankle courtesy of Satoshi.

Sho filled his own glass and raised it in a toast to Jun. “Thank you for being here with me tonight. You look absolutely stunning in that suit. I'm sure that I'm the envy of every person in the room.”

Even though Jun knew that Sho was playing a part, he couldn't suppress the small shiver of pleasure which vibrated down his spine at Sho’s words of praise. He gave Sho a genuine smile as he sipped the crisp perfectly chilled wine, laughing softly as the bubbles tickled his nose.

Dinner progressed and Sho settled into the role of attentive boyfriend, making sure that Jun ended up with extra anago; in return, Jun handed his oysters over to Sho without a murmur.

After the main course had been consumed, speeches were made and a giant cake was cut by Granny Sakurai, who was shorter than it by at least fifty centimetres. The tables were pushed back and a screen slid back at the end of the room to reveal a tuxedo-clad band.

“You never told me that your life is like something out of Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous,” Jun laughed, torn between awe and envy at the lavishness of the event.

“My great-granny has always had a flair for the dramatic.” Sho was becoming quite uncomfortable at the excessive display of wealth. He hoped that Jun wouldn’t be intimidated by the obvious gap between their circumstances.

Jun, however, was more amused than anything else. “If ever there was a time to go completely over the top, being a century old is definitely it. Look at how happy your great-grandmother is.”

The room was crowded with family members and friends of Granny-Sakurai, even though Sho’s own parents were absent. In New York on business, they had been unavoidably detained, asking Sho to represent them at the party.

Sho’s father had always put business first, which had indirectly contributed to Sho’s close relationship with his great-grandmother. As a child, Sho had spent more time with her than with his parents. It wasn't that he had a bad relationship with them. They loved him in their own particular way, but they had never really been cut out to raise a family.

After giving Sho and Jun a wink, Granny Sakurai had snared Satoshi, who was passing by on the way to the lavish dessert buffet, and was waltzing with him in the centre of the space cleared for dancing. Satoshi was a surprisingly graceful dancer, and he used his skill to support the frail and elderly lady, while creating the illusion that she was propelling herself around the floor.

Noticing the way that Jun was swaying in time with the music, Sho offered him his hand. “Dance with me?”

The thought of being in Sho’s arms set off a warning signal in Jun’s head. Being so close to Sho physically was not going help him to maintain his emotional distance. On the other hand, it would be expected of them, as a couple, to join in. So when he agreed to join Sho on the floor he almost managed to persuade himself it was simply to keep up appearances.

Sho breathed in the scent of Jun’s hair, holding him close as they joined the other couples on the floor, dancing to a slow song. The fragrance of bergamot transported Sho back to the time when Jun was his and they were happy, and it seemed as if Jun felt the same way. A dreamy smile lifted the corners of Jun’s mouth as he melted into Sho’s arms, moulding himself around Sho’s body as they drifted across the floor. The tune was an old one, and it stirred up memories of other dates and loving embraces. Jun’s cheek was soft and the taste familiar, as Sho lightly ran his lips across Jun’s face, pressing a series of feathery kisses against the pale skin.

The spell they were both under was broken instantly as Jun stiffened and drew away. His eyes were huge and shocked as he looked at Sho, but beneath the indignation, Sho detected a flicker of something else. He couldn't be quite sure, but it looked a lot like desire.

“I need some fresh air.” Jun could feel the skin where Sho’s lips had brushed burning as if branded. If Sho was merely putting on an act for his Granny's benefit, then he was a more skilled actor than Jun had ever imagined. The last few minutes had felt genuine, and that scared Jun more than ever.

“Jun, wait. I'll come with you.”

Over Sho’s shoulder, Jun could see Sho’s great-grandmother hobbling their way with a determined expression, and he shook his head. “Looks like Granny Sakurai wants to speak to you. I'll be on the balcony.”

“It’s cold out there. After what happened earlier, you should put on a coat.” Sho couldn't help fussing. Watching Jun faint earlier had almost given him heart failure.

“Don't worry, I'll look after him,” Satoshi said as he slouched over to them. “I need to escape before Granny makes me dance again. She's tiring me out.”

***

“So how are you coping so far?” Satoshi spoke quietly, just out of earshot of Sho who was chatting with his great-granny on the other side of the French doors.

Jun leant on the railing and gazed up at the moon which was casting a shimmering silver reflection across the calm sea. The air out here on the balcony was chilly, but the opportunity to escape from the crowded party for a few minutes was all too tempting.

“It almost feels like the old days,” Jun said with a smile. “Apart from the obvious of course,” he added, with a pointed glance at Sho, who seemed to be having a serious conversation with his great-grandmother.

“There's been nobody else in his life since then you know. All he has is work.”

“And whose fault is that?” Jun bristled. He was trying to ignore the fact that he also hadn't had a significant relationship either in the last five years since the breakup. It surely didn't mean that he was fixated on the past; it was just that he hadn't found the right person.

“That's not what I meant. I’m not blaming anyone,” Satoshi admonished. “I merely wanted to let you know that there is still a chance for the two of you, if you wanted.”

“How can there be a chance? He is still in Seoul and still working fifteen hour days. Nothing has changed in the last five years.” Jun tried and failed to keep the bitterness from his voice. As much as he tried to pretend, there was still a raw spot on his heart. Most of the time it was easy to fool himself into thinking it was no longer there, but Satoshi always managed to reveal the truth without even saying much.

“And if he was coming home? Would things be any different?” Satoshi blinked at Jun with a sharp gaze which belied his bland expression.

“I...don't know.” Jun nibbled his bottom lip nervously. His head was spinning at the prospect. “Is he planning to?”

“You need to ask him, not me,” Satoshi said. He straightened his tie and headed back inside to where the party was in full swing. “Please do me a favour and don't tell him that I said anything. I wouldn't want him to think that I’m talking about him behind his back. Which I’m not, you know. I'm just trying to help you guys. I think you go together like apple pie and ice cream.” At the mention of pie Satoshi hummed and headed back towards the room where the food was being served as if drawn by an invisible string. “Hmm, I wonder if there's any dessert left. Want anything?”

“No, thanks, and don’t worry, I won’t say anything to Sho.” Jun shook his head and leaned heavily on the railing as he took in a deep breath of crisp air. When he’d agreed to this ludicrous plan he’d seen it as a way to finally get Sho out of his system and move on with his life, but instead it was stirring up more questions than ever.

***

“Thanks for a great evening,” Sho said as he burrowed under the blankets of their shared bed. He was relieved to have managed to persuade Jun to retire early from the party after he’d noticed him swaying with tiredness shortly after Granny-Sakurai had retired for the evening.

Jun climbed in more slowly, careful to not disturb the wall of pillows dividing the mattress neatly in half. “It was fun, wasn’t it? And your Granny had a ball.”

They shared at smile at the memory of the elderly lady clutching Satoshi in an iron grip and making him lead her and the rest of the guests around the floor in a snaking conga line. She had stayed up until after eleven, drinking champagne and regaling everyone with stories from when she was young and beautiful and had men falling at her feet.

“I haven’t had that much fun in a long time,” Sho agreed before adding cautiously, “In fact, not since I moved to Seoul.”

Jun held his breath for a second, before calming himself. Although Satoshi had assured him that Sho had nobody special in his life, he wanted to confirm this for himself. He decided to adopt a breezy attitude so that Sho wouldn’t be able to tell how interested he was. “I thought you would have lots of friends there; you always seemed so busy when I called, no matter how late it was.”

“With work. I don’t really have any friends outside of the office.”

“Well, that makes sense really, doesn’t it?” Jun couldn’t resist this little dig. He knew that he was picking at a mostly healed wound, but the words just kept flowing and he was unable to stop them. “Work has certainly been more important than anything else to you for a long time.”

Instead of trying to justify himself, as Jun would have expected, Sho simply nodded wearily. “I’ve learnt from my mistakes and I’m trying to cut down on my hours and exercise more. A life spent only working isn’t much of a life at all. I wouldn’t want to inflict that on a partner and drag them down with me.”

Sho’s eyes seemed to bore into Jun’s inner core as he spoke, sending a wordless apology. Jun wanted to take this conversation further, but he was almost too exhausted to speak. He heard Sho murmuring a quiet “good night” and sleep overtook him before he could summon a reply.

***

Jun was unsure what woke him from a deep and restful sleep. He lay still for a moment, blinking at the bright silver-hued moonlight streaming through the open curtains. Neither he nor Sho had remembered to close them before climbing into bed. He thought perhaps that was what had woken him, and decided to get up and close the curtains before the sun rose and woke them too early. But he was quite comfortable where he was and the other side of the room seemed very far away.

In fact, Jun allowed himself to drift, reliving the evening and the feeling of being in Sho’s arms. Jun was almost asleep when he felt a puff of warm air on back of his neck. His eyes flew open and he stiffened, only now noticing the arm draped over his hip and the hand resting on the mattress in front of him. Sho was wrapped around him, his body snugly fitting into every curve of Jun’s as they lay comfortably entwined.

The pillows Jun had placed as a demarcation line were scattered across the floor or had slid down to the bottom of the bed. Obviously in their sleep both he and Sho had gravitated to one another and now they were occupying the space where the pillows and cushions had been. Now fully awake, Jun wriggled around in Sho’s arms until they were facing. For the briefest of times, Jun paused to admire the soft curl of Sho’s lashes and the definition of his cheekbones and full lips, and the familiar feeling of resting next to Sho’s warm presence, before he came to his senses and poked Sho sharply in the ribs.

“Wha…wassup?” Sho muttered, not bothering to open his eyes and tightening his grip on Jun’s body.

Jun pushed Sho away with all the strength he could muster, while at the same time rolling away to his own side of the bed. “I thought I told you to keep to your own side?”

Sho blinked sleepily and half sat up, running his fingers through his hair. “But I am on my side!”

“Never mind,” Jun sighed and moved over until he was clinging to the very edge of the mattress. “Just go back to sleep.”

It was a long time before Jun managed to go back to sleep. He lay staring into the darkness, listening to the rhythm of Sho’s breathing as the moon made its way across the night sky. Now that Sho was back on his own side of the bed, Jun felt as if something was missing. He wriggled away from the edge where he’d been clinging stiffly, moving more into the centre and slid his hand under the wall of cushions. After groping around for a few seconds his fingers came into contact with Sho’s hand.

Sho stirred slightly, but didn’t fully wake, as Jun curled his hand around Sho’s long fingers, holding his hand loosely. As Jun attempted to drift back to sleep, he felt an answering squeeze of his hand as Sho tightened his grip in response, holding Jun’s hand snugly until they both slept soundly.

**

Jun picked up his phone and dialled as he examined himself in the bathroom mirror. Even he couldn't quite read the expression reflected back at him in his own eyes. He needed to speak to someone who had a clearer perspective. Jun waited for hot water to fill the deep black marble tub and allowed the steam to blur his features into an indistinct blob. Sho had been persuaded by Satoshi to accompany him on a fishing expedition before meeting back up with Jun for a planned barbeque lunch, leaving Jun alone with his thoughts.

Nino answered quickly as if he’d been waiting to pounce. “Well?”

After twiddling the taps sightly to adjust the temperature of the water, Jun perched on the edge of the bathtub. “The weather is fine and view from our room is breathtaking.

“’Our’ room?” Nino said, louder than necessary.

As Jun held the phone a safe distance from his ear, he could picture his friend’s eyebrows hovering somewhere near his hairline in surprise, so he hastened to calm him before he burst a blood vessel. “Obviously, we had to share a room since we are supposed to be in a relationship. But it’s all perfectly innocent.”

“So he hasn’t tried anything inappropriate?” Nino’s voice at the other end of the line was full of suspicion. “Because if so, my offer to send Aiba around still stands.”

“He’s been the perfect gentleman,” Jun protested. He considered it wise to not mention the way that he’d woken up in Sho’s arms that morning. Nino was scary when angry.

“If that’s true, then I am most disappointed.”

Jun blinked in surprise at a voice which definitely wasn’t Nino, suddenly bursting into his ear. “Aiba? Why are you at Nino’s place?”

“I’m not. Since you’re away he’s decided to take up residence on my couch instead. Are you sure that he actually even has his own apartment? OW!”

Jun couldn’t help but laugh at the sounds of a scuffle at the other end of the phone. The noises ended abruptly as the phone was put on speaker and a breathless Aiba asked for more details. “Do you still like him? Does he still like you? And most importantly, what’s the food like, and is there any possibility of bringing back some leftovers?”

Aiba and Nino’s voiced faded to background noise. The sound of blood rushing through Jun’s head drowned everything else out. He absently noted that the bath was almost full and turned off the flow of water before adding some scented bath oil which had been left on the side of the bath for their use. When he and Sho had woken up that morning, hands still entwined, their eyes had met and they had stayed frozen in place, until Sho opened his mouth to speak. At that moment Jun had bolted out of bed before Sho could say anything, snatching up his phone and locking himself in the bathroom until he heard Sho going down to breakfast.

“JUN? Are you still there?” Aiba’s voice, tinged with anxiety, burst out of the phone.

Brought back to the present, Jun managed to recall Aiba’s earlier questions, and in the hopes of avoiding answering the questions about feelings, he answered the easiest one first. “Sorry, I was just turning off the bathwater. The food is fantastic.”

Nino obviously snatched the phone from Aiba as the next question cut right to the heart of the matter. “You’re attracted to him aren’t you?”

“I…” Jun felt his face growing hot as he tried to think of a way to deflect Nino’s question, but he was saved the trouble when he heard a sound coming from the bedroom. He hastily ended the call and cautiously opened the bathroom door, searching for source of the noise.

***

Disappointed that Jun wasn’t in their room, Sho was about to leave and search the gardens, when the bathroom door opened a crack and Jun’s startled face appeared.

“Sho! What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be fishing.” Jun emerged from the bathroom, clutching the front of his bathrobe tightly to his neck.’

“I walked Satoshi down to the jetty, but I told him that I couldn’t go. It’s not like he’ll miss me anyway. All he cares about is catching fish.”

Since he definitely wasn’t Sho’s keeper, Jun merely shrugged and turned to go back to the bathroom and tub of scented water waiting for him.

“Wait.” Sho took a step closer to Jun, his voice a little husky with nervous anticipation. “I came back because I wanted to talk to you.”

“Well, you can talk to me through the door, because my bathwater is going cold.” Jun turned to walk away but froze when he felt Sho’s hand grabbing the cuff of his robe.

Sho’s eyes were dark and his expression serious. “Please. I need to say this.”

Jun was finding it hard to breathe, and butterflies danced in his stomach as he nodded and slowly walked over to perch on the edge of the bed. Something in Sho’s voice told him that this was an important moment.

“I was wondering if we could stay in touch, after we go home. I’ve had a good time and I feel like you have too, and it would be nice if it could continue…” Sho began, speaking slowly as if gauging Jun’s reaction. When he saw Jun half stand as if making ready to flee, he hastily added, “As friends, of course, just to start with, if you'd prefer. I wouldn't want to rush you into anything you’re not comfortable with.”

“You want us to get back together?” Jun wanted to agree and fling himself into Sho’s arms and he equally wanted to tell him to get lost. He wasn't sure if he wanted to put himself through all of this again, it was easier to keep Sho and his own feelings for him at a safe distance.

“I know that I still have a lot of work to do, to get you to forgive me, but I’d really like to try.” Sho could feel tiny prickles across his skin as he waited nervously for Jun’s response. He knew that he was asking a lot. He still had so many things to sort out in his life, but he knew that if Jun gave him even the slightest hint that he would be receptive to the idea, then all of his plans for the future could fall into place.

Jun didn't know how to respond. This weekend had proved that he still had feelings for Sho, but with Sho remaining in Seoul, he couldn't see any possibility for a resumption of their relationship. His hesitation must have been noticeable, because Sho sighed deeply and slumped down onto the window seat.

Jun didn't know that he’d even agreed, until Sho looked at him hopefully, bouncing across the room and giving him a crushing hug.

“You won't regret this. We can discuss things properly after Granny’s birthday lunch,” Sho said excitedly. “But right now you’d better go and have that bath before I embarrass myself.”

Jun remembered that he was naked under his robe and realized that he was pressed rather closely up against Sho’s body. Emitting a rather unflattering squeak, Jun extricated himself and bolted back into the bathroom. He slammed the door shut and flopped back against it, wondering what exactly he was doing, but unable to keep the smile from spreading across his face.

***

The sea glittered beneath the noon-day sun as if coated in thousands of diamonds. The large marquee was decorated with balloons, as if for a children's party, courtesy of Granny-Sakurai’s sense of humour. She said that since she was likely to become senile any day now, she should start practicing for her second childhood. Lunch was an informal affair, with only family members enjoying the seafood barbecue.

Satoshi and Chinen were glaring at each other over the last of the grilled shrimp, when Jun blithely swooped in and took from under their noses. Ignoring the disappointed groans, Jun happily handed the plate to Sho, who beamed and kissed the inside of Jun’s wrist.

Jun buried his face in his glass of juice, taking a big gulp as he attempted to hide his face, which felt uncomfortably hot. He hadn't anticipated the zap of electricity which had shot up his arm at the touch of Sho’s lips. It felt as if there were butterflies moving underneath that patch of skin, and Jun surreptitiously examined it, half expecting to see a burn mark of some kind.

Waiters were moving around the marquee handing out flutes of ice cold pink champagne which perfectly matched not only the colour of the decorations, but also Granny-sakurai’s lacy tea dress. Sho snared two glasses and headed over to Jun, who was looking slightly dazed. “You look like you need this. Are you okay?”

“F-fine. I'm fine,” Jun detected amusement in Sho’s eyes and snatched the flute of champagne. He was intending to escape Sho’s knowing look, but Sho firmly gripped his hand, anchoring him in place.

“You look more than fine, with those flushed cheeks,” Sho murmured.

The tinkling sound of a knife being tapped on a glass cut Jun’s response to Sho’s flirting. Granny Sakurai nodded her thanks to Satoshi, who filled the glass and handed it to her before taking a step back. All eyes were on the elderly lady as she began to speak.

“Attention everyone. I have something I want to announce, and it seems easier to tell you all now while you're all in one place.” Granny Sakurai turned to where Sho was standing holding hands with Jun, gesturing with her cane. “I’ve decided that I should pass on the torch to the next generation, and nobody should point out that it's more than one generation, unless they want to feel the sharp end of my walking stick.”

She paused until the laughter her remark had generated died down, before continuing. “I told my intelligent and astute great-grandson that unless he could prove that he was settled, he wouldn't even be in the running for the position. Over the course of this weekend he has more than demonstrated his maturity, and of course, his loving relationship with his beautiful boyfriend. And because of that, I have chosen him as my successor.”

Shocked by the sudden announcement and confused by the horrified look on Jun’s face, Sho hurried to try and explain. “Jun...”

Jun didn't know what he wanted more right now; to throw up or to escape. He wrenched his hand out of Sho’s grasp. “So that's why you did this? To inherit? And there I was thinking that we had another chance. I’m obviously even more stupid and gullible than I ever imagined.”

After choking out those words to Sho’s shocked face, Jun turned and ran.

Sho was unsure what had happened to set Jun off. It was surely a misunderstanding, but before he had the chance to even attempt to find out, Jun was gone in an instant. As Jun fled across the dunes Sho felt a stinging pain across his backside. “Ow! Granny!”

Granny Sakurai raised her walking cane as if preparing to strike once more. “Don't just stand there like a lump. Go after the boy and quick sharp. Or do I need to give you another taste of this?”

Sho needed no further prompting as he took off in pursuit of Jun who was moving with impressive speed along the beach.

“Jun! Stop!” Sho saw Jun hesitate momentarily as the sound of his voice reached him. Jun looked back over his shoulder like a startled rabbit before flying through the air and landing in the water with a splashing thud which was loud enough for Sho to hear even from this distance. The sand suddenly seemed softer, sucking Sho’s feet into its grasp and slowing him down as he struggled across the shifting dunes.

***

Jun sprinted over the dunes, tripping and stumbling over the uneven surface of the sand. He didn't stop when he reached the margin of the water, splashing in the shallows, not caring that his shoes and clothes were getting wet. He could hear Sho calling out behind him and that particular voice was the last thing which Jun wanted to hear right now.

Jun tried to run faster while looking over his shoulder at the same time. He only realized that this was a very bad idea indeed when his foot caught under a large piece of driftwood. Unable to regain his balance he seemed to fly through the air in slow motion, windmilling his arms in a desperate attempt to stave off the inevitable.

A moment later Jun hit the water hard, his clothes soaking through with the icy water as he struggled to breathe. The water was so cold that his lungs seemed to seize up. This was bad enough but even worse was the collective gasp from Sho’s assembled relatives who had a perfect view of him flailing helplessly in the sea.

At least he could no longer hear Sho calling his name and for a moment Jun dared to hope that Sho had missed the sight of him crash landing in the water and had continued to run along the beach in a fruitless pursuit. Unfortunately, he discovered that he was wrong as a strong pair of arms wrapped around him and a heavy body landed on top of him, pressing him completely under the water. Sho was breathing hard and completely panicking, so much so that he didn’t even seem to notice that he was actually making the situation even worse for Jun.

Jun struggled to free himself from Sho’s tight grip as they tumbled in the breakers. Sho’s bodyweight was pinning Jun down on the sea bed, making it impossible for him to move and he was rapidly running out of air. His vision had black tinge and he could feel himself losing consciousness. Using all of his remaining energy Jun swung his elbow back sharply, connecting with Sho’s stomach. Sho immediately released his grip and Jun was finally able to reach the surface.

Now that he was upright, Jun found out that the water was actually only chest high, and that if Sho hadn’t rushed to his rescue he would’ve been perfectly safe. He pushed through the water to the shore, brushing his bedraggled hair out of his eyes as he struggled to make headway across the soft sand.

Sho wheezed and flailed as he tried to run after Jun. It was hard to catch his breath after Jun’s elbow had knocked the wind out of him. His attempts to call out to Jun and make him slow down failed miserably, as the only noises he could produce were squeaky wheezing sounds. He stopped and took a deep breath, desperately yelling at Jun’s retreating back, “Jun, wait! I’m sorry. I was only trying to help.”

Jun stopped walking and turned to face Sho, looking almost incandescent with rage. “Help? You almost killed me!”

“I thought you were drowning.”

“And why should you care if I was? Are you telling me that this whole weekend has just been a charade? I guess I’m a gullible fool, because I actually believed you when you said that you cared.”

“Jun, please…”


“Just leave me alone, before you do any more damage.” Jun’s legs gave way underneath him and he fell down on his knees in the sand. His rage was apparently the only thing keeping him upright until this moment and now his strength was gone.

Before Sho had the chance to help, Satoshi and the others arrived, smothering Jun with a flurry of concern as they attempted to administer first aid. It was impossible to get close to him, and by the angry looks Jun kept casting in his direction, Sho figured that he was going to have a tough time convincing him of his sincerity, once he did.

***

“Jun, please open the door.” Sho was dripping water on the carpet in the hallway outside their room, but he couldn’t care less. After refusing to be checked out by the local doctor, Jun had bolted up here, locking the door behind him and refusing to allow anyone in. “I’m not going anywhere until I’m sure you’re okay.”

As Sho raised his fist to bang on the door one more time, it flew open to reveal a wild-eyed Jun standing there wearing an angry expression.

“How can I be okay when you humiliated me in front of your entire family?” Jun snarled.

“I already apologised for almost drowning you…” Sho began, taking a hesitant step into the bedroom, only to be cut off by Jun, who was practically spitting fire.

“I’m not talking about that. How dare you make me think that you still cared about me, that we had another chance, when all the time you were just using me?”

“Jun, you don’t understand. Please let me explain.”

“I understand perfectly.” Jun’s eyes were suspiciously wet as he shoved Sho, away from the door and back into the hallway. “Just leave me alone; we both know you’re really good at that.”

Before Sho could say anything else, the door was slammed in his face and he could hear Jun turning the lock a moment later.

Sho’s own heart was pounding hard enough to almost break out of his chest. He knew that he couldn’t and wouldn’t live without Jun any longer. All of the calm reasoning he had used when he broke it off with Jun, all of the logical arguments which had seemed to make sense at the time, vanished into vapour. He wanted Jun. He wanted to make up for lost time, for the five years which had been wasted by his own stupidity. It had been foolish of him and arrogant to decide what was best for them both. He hadn’t even offered Jun an alternative, instead closing himself of from him in what he had believed at the time to be what was in Jun’s best interests.

In the five years since their breakup, Sho hadn’t gone a single day without thinking about Jun. Not just because he still loved him, but because of the terrible way in which he had distanced himself from their relationship. He’d taken the cowards way out and would forever be ashamed of himself for not having the guts to speak to Jun directly. By silently distancing himself and fading from Jun’s world, Sho knew that he had caused immense pain and damage to Jun’s emotions. He knew all of this because if the pain that he had felt was only half as great as Jun’s, then he didn’t know how Jun had not only coped but become much stronger.

Even though Jun had been in no real danger, for a chilling moment Sho had believed himself to be within a hair's breadth of losing Jun forever. Sho vowed that as soon as he had the opportunity he would throw himself on Jun’s mercy. He was determined to persist until Jun forgave him. Then, perhaps if he was very lucky, indeed Jun might offer him a chance to start anew, and Sho didn’t care how long that would take. And this time there would be no fading out of the picture.

***

When the next knock sounded on the door, Jun was tempted to ignore it completely, but he knew that if Sho had returned, he would just keep on knocking. “Sho, go away and leave me alone.”

“It’s not Sho,” Granny-Sakurai called softly from the other side of the door. “Don’t worry, he’s downstairs with Satoshi, so you can safely open the door.”

When Jun opened the door, Granny-Sakurai slowly hobbled in and closed it firmly behind her. She took Jun’s hand and led him to the bed, making him lay down and perching on the mattress beside him. Jun wanted to protest at being treated like an invalid, but he ached all over from the pummelling he’d received by the ocean and was also bruised where Sho had landed on him during his misguided rescue attempt. The bed was so soft that he simply couldn’t help sinking down on it and curling into a despairing ball.

“My dear, I know that you’re exhausted, but please give my great-grandson a chance to explain. Even though you two have only been pretending to be a couple, he really does have feelings for you. I know that this afternoon everything went terribly wrong, but I need you to listen to what he has to say.”

“We didn’t mean to hurt you by pretending. Sho didn’t want to disappoint you, and neither did I. But how did you know?”

“You were both very convincing, but there were a few times where I caught you looking at Sho, and you were so sad.”

“Being around him made me fall for him all over again, and I stupidly played right into his hands. I should've known that I would end up disappointed.” Jun blinked back angry tears. Not only had Sho been using him and playing him for a fool but he had made Jun look even more stupid after the incident at the beach. It had been embarrassing enough to fall into the icy water in the first place, even without Sho dramatically flinging himself into the water to ‘rescue’ him a second later. The whole of Sho’s family, including Great-granny Sakurai had been witness to Jun’s humiliation, leaving Jun wishing that he actually had drowned. At least if he had fallen unconscious he might have been able to forget.

“Here.” Gnarled fingers bent and twisted by arthritis held out a box of tissues. “Wipe your eyes, my pretty boy. No more tears.”

“Granny Sakurai-san, I’m sorry.”

The old lad gently petted Jun’s head as if he was a ruffled cat. “You were like a drowned rat when Sho-kun pulled you from the sea. There was no need for you to be so melodramatic, you know. You didn't need to make Sho love you again. He has never stopped.”


“I didn’t mean to. I tripped over a stupid piece of driftwood.” Jun was too tired and too sore to maintain the pretence any longer and decided to tell the truth for the first time that weekend. “He stopped loving me five years ago when we broke up. I'm sorry that we have been pretending to still be together. Sho only wanted to make you happy on your birthday.”


Granny laughed with a surprisingly youthful tinkle. “You are a lovely boy, but seriously deluded if you think that I didn't know that the whole time.”

“You knew from the beginning?” Jun wanted to throw up. He dropped his towel over his head in an attempt to hide his emotions. “So this whole weekend has been a farce?”

“You don't get to outlive three husbands and run a multi-billion yen company single handed by being short sighted,” she said giving Jun’s hand a firm squeeze. She lifted the towel away from Jun’s face so she could look into his huge frightened eyes. “If you really want to make me happy you will listen to what he has to say.”

Jun was too tired to argue. This weekend had shown him that he had never stopped loving Sho, and right at this very moment when his defences were down, he couldn’t and in fact didn’t want to fight it anymore. “O-okay. I’ll see him. And once again, I’m sorry. What we were attempting to do was cruel.”

“Lovely boy, it was only cruel if you didn’t actually love each other. So you pretended to still be together, no harm no foul. Your hearts were in the right place and since technically you pair of fools still actually love each other, then you weren’t even tricking anyone.”

Jun’s head spun as he tried to make sense of what Sho’s great-grandmother was saying, but he was far too exhausted and confused. He merely nodded weakly as she bustled out, on a mission to find Sho and fix things between them to her satisfaction.

***

“Why are you just sitting there?”

Sho jumped, once again startled by his great-grandmother, who somehow always managed to sneak up on him despite her use of a walking stick. He had a blanket wrapped around his shoulders and was cradling a coffee between shaking hands. Satoshi had made sure that Sho was comfortable before folding himself into one of the cosy chairs on the opposite side of the living room. Gentle snores were issuing from Satoshi’s location as he dozed on despite the loudness of Granny Sakurai’s voice.

“I...um...Jun slammed the door in my face,” Sho muttered.

“Do you think I let a little technicality like that stop me from seeing him?”

“But you are a helpless old lady. There’s no way he would refuse to let you in,” Sho replied despondently.

“Old maybe, but definitely not helpless,” Satoshi piped up sleepily, earning himself a sharp poke with the end of a walking stick.

“That may be true. But this isn’t about me. It’s about you and your relationship with Jun,” Granny said as she eased herself down into a seat near Sho. “Or am I wrong in thinking that you want him back?”

“As you have already discovered, we don’t have a relationship,” Sho sighed regretfully. It was no surprise to him that his perceptive great-grandmother knew the truth about their subterfuge. She had a mind like a razor, even if her body might be deteriorating.

“That’s not what I asked. I asked if you want Jun back,” Granny waved her stick around as she spoke, making both Sho and Satoshi flinch. “Do you still love him? And don’t even think about not telling the whole truth.”

Satoshi lost his sleepy demeanour, sitting up straight as he waited for Sho’s answer. He was convinced that Sho and Jun belonged together and that his cousin had made the worst mistake of his life when he’d pushed Jun away through a misguided sense of fairness. He could only hope that Sho would finally admit to himself what was perfectly clear to anyone with even half a brain.

Sho slumped even deeper into his seat and pulled the blanket tightly around his shoulders. “What’s the use? He hates me.”

Granny-Sakurai banged her walking stick impatiently on the floor, making Sho sit bolt upright. “Answer me!”

Startled, Sho blurted out his reply without thinking. “Yes. Yes, I love him and want him back.” He groaned and buried his face in his hands, adding softly, “I’ve only ever loved Jun; there’s never been anyone else.”

“Then stop sitting there whining and go and get him!”

“But…”

“Don’t make me use this stick!” Granny replied, lifting her cane just high enough to make Sho flinch.

“He’s waiting for you in your room. So get in there and don’t come out until you’ve made up, and that’s an order.”

“You know that it’s what you both want,” Satoshi added. “We can all see that.

Outnumbered, and knowing that the others were speaking the truth, Sho rose to his feet and made his way to the door. His heart fluttered nervously He only hoped that by the time he made his way to Jun, he would’ve managed to find the right words.

***

“Jun, I’m coming in whether you like it or not.” Sho was expecting the door to still be locked, but it swung open easily. He could feel his heart was pounding so loudly that he was sure that Jun must be able to hear it from where he was sitting gazing out at the sea through the bay window.

“Why would I bother? You always do what you want anyway.” Jun’s voice was dull and his eyes were red from crying as he turned to look at Sho.

Sho took a deep, steadying breath, and gingerly sat beside Jun. “I didn't know that Granny was going to name anyone as her successor. Like everyone else, I assumed she would go on forever. I truly didn't use you.”

“Then why did she say that you were coming back to Tokyo? You must’ve discussed this with her beforehand.”

“This morning at breakfast, I told her I was giving up my job at the clinic and coming home. I told her that I wanted to spend more time with you.”

“So she gave you the job to bolster our fake relationship?”

Sho shook his head. “I told her the truth. I couldn't lie anymore. I told her everything.”

“You told her about our breakup, and that we have been putting on an act all this weekend?” Jun was honestly surprised. If this was the case, then Granny Sakurai had a great poker face.

“Yep. I thought she would be mad, but instead she was relieved. She knew that we’d split up, and has been playing along all weekend in the hopes of getting us back together again. Apparently, she and Satoshi have been looking for an opportunity to get us to reconcile, and this weekend was their perfect chance.”

Jun couldn't help but laugh bitterly at the idea that they had been played by a centenarian and Sho’s cousin, who had skilfully managed to hide his well-meaning, but sneaky side. At the same time, there was something about what Sho had said, which was nagging at him. “Wait a minute. So you didn't lie when you said you wanted to spend more time with me?”

“I’ve never stopped loving you, Jun. I thought I was doing the right thing when I let you go five years ago. I thought that a long distance relationship would be too hard for you, that I would hold you back from enjoying your last year at university. But there hasn't been a moment when I haven't regretted it. I’ve spent every day since then burying myself in an avalanche of work, hoping that it would mask the pain, but it didn't work. As soon as I had a minute to relax, my thoughts turned to you, wondering how you were and if you were happy.” Sho took a shuddering breath and cautiously looked into Jun’s eyes, frightened that he would only see anger and disdain there. But Jun’s eyes were soft and glimmering with unshed tears.

Jun blinked back his tears and poked Sho in the leg to make make him continue. Even though his heart was fluttering like a caged bird, he wasn't going to let him off that easily. “Don't stop there. I need to hear you say everything.”

Sho felt hope surge through his veins as he tried again to convey his true feelings. “This morning I lied when I said that I wanted us to be friends.” When he heard Jun’s horrified intake of breath, he hastily continued, “I want us to be more than that. I love you Jun. I always have and I always will. And even though once before I ruined everything between us with my stupidity, I'm asking you to give us another chance.”

As badly as Jun wanted to immediately take Sho back, a tiny piece of him remained wary. “I think that your suggestion that we become friends first is a good one.”

“Does this mean that you don't love me?” Sho pouted.

Jun couldn't keep the fondness from his voice as he took in Sho’s adorable expression. "That’s not what I meant. All I'm saying is, you need to give me some space. This is going to take a little getting used to."

"Oh really? How about this then?" Sho asked softly as he edged closer. He darted out a finger and lightly touched the tiny mole on the left side of Jun's nose.

"Too close." Jun batted Sho's hand away.

“And this?” Before Jun could react Sho had engulfed him in a tight hug, pinning his arms down by his side and holding him immobile. Almost imperceptibly at first, Sho felt Jun relax his stiff stance until he was melting in his arms.

Jun wrapped himself sinuously around Sho’s body, clinging with all the power he could muster. “Not bad at all. Just remember to keep this distance at all times.”

Sho muffled his snort of laughter against Jun’s shoulder earning himself a sharp pinch as Jun squeezed the skin just above his hip bone. This was something he’d missed, and now that he had Jun in his arms once more, he was never letting go.

***

After parking in front of Jun’s apartment block, Sho switched off the engine and released his seatbelt. Jun was asleep in the passenger seat beside him and Sho took a moment to take in Jun’s sleeping face. He looked like an angel, with long lashes sweeping across his cheeks and his lips slightly parted. Jun had been persuaded to spend an extra day at the seaside cottage, recovering from his ordeal in the water, and all of the emotional upheaval surrounding the weekend’s events. They’d spent the day discussing their future together, and although they knew that there were still issues to be sorted out, they were both determined to make their relationship work this time around.

Although loathe to wake Jun when he looked so peaceful, Sho had a plane to catch. He unfastened Jun’s seatbelt, nudging him gently. “We’re here.”

“Mmm? Already? How did that happen?” Jun rubbed his eyes and blinked blearily at Sho. “Coffee?”

“It only seems fast because you slept most of the way,” Sho laughed. “I’d love to come up, but I need to go if I'm going to get on that plane.”

“You’ll be back soon, though?”

“As soon as I put in my resignation, and sort out a replacement,” Sho smiled at the sight of Jun’s ruffled hair, and gently smoothed the bangs away from Jun’s eyes. “Will you ring me?”

Looking straight ahead, Jun asked softly, “Will you answer this time?”

Sho swallowed hard, as guilt gnawed at his gut. “Always. I promise.”

When Jun turned to look at Sho, his expression was soft, and his eyes seemed to fill his face. On impulse, Sho drew closer and pressed a kiss to Jun’s lips. It had been such a long time, but the spark between them was still there. Jun returned the kiss, almost shyly at first, but with increasing ardour.

A sharp rapping on the window made them spring apart, hearts pounding with shock. A scowling face peered in at them, radiating disapproval.

“Nino, go away,” Jun gasped, as he attempted to stop his heart from leaping out of his chest.

Nino narrowed his eyes, but took a few steps back, allowing them some privacy.

“Looks like I have some work to do with your friends too,” Sho panted, clutching his chest dramatically.

“I'm tempted to hop on that plane with you right now, rather than face an angry Nino, and I’ll bet Aiba won't be far away either,” Jun muttered, sinking down in his seat until he was hidden below the windowsill.

“Well, since you're already doomed, you might as well be hanged for a sheep as for a lamb,” Sho said with a shrug. Leaning over the gear stick he pulled Jun into his arms, and peppered his face with a series of kisses, earning himself a giggle from Jun who pulled Sho down with him out of Nino’s line of sight.

***

Epilogue – Six Months Later

“Aww, c’mon, Sho-chan, you must know who has and who hasn’t.” Aiba was excitedly flipping through the latest celebrity magazine and jiggling in his seat.

“You know that I have to uphold patient confidentiality,” Sho replied stiffly as he attempted to maintain a completely blank expression.

Aiba turned the page and waggled a photograph of a recently debuted singer in Sho’s face. “What about this one?”

Sho continued to look disinterested, but Nino picked up the faintest of twitches under Sho’s left eye. “I think you’re onto something. That was a definite twitch.”

“It was not a twitch,” Sho protested, appealing to Jun for help. “I don’t twitch.”

Jun, who was breathless with laughter, merely waved his hand in surrender as he struggled to breathe. The hunted expression on Sho’s face was priceless. Since his return from Seoul, Sho had been working in a clinic a twenty minute commute from both his and Jun’s apartments, and taking orders from his feisty great-grandmother on his days off. Although her state of health remained fragile, having Sho and Satoshi by her side had given her a new lease of life.

To Jun’s surprise, both Nino and Aiba had taken to Sho, becoming firm friends with him almost immediately. After warning Sho not to break Jun’s heart again, that is. Sho had worked hard since then to earn both their and Jun’s trust. Meanwhile, Satoshi’s quiet and calm personality had slotted into an easy friendship with Nino and Aiba too. Aiba in particular shared Satoshi’s love of sweets.

Nino was vastly relieved that Aiba had someone else to drag to cake shops. This freed up time for Nino to pursue his favourite pastimes of lying around at home watching television, playing games, and sending snarky text messages to his friends about his evil boss. Preferably someone else’s home, equipped with a well-stocked refrigerator, a decent entertainment system and a good washer and dryer. Jun’s apartment had always been his preferred location, since Aiba’s place was usually a mess and Satoshi’s was even worse. The man didn’t even own a television set.

Sho had asked Jun to move in together more than once, but Jun was having too much fun enjoying their renewed relationship to surrender his independence just yet. The fact that Sho kept whisking him off for romantic dates also encouraged him to resist the idea for just a little longer too.

“Now, this one is a definite,” Nino declared triumphantly. He had taken possession of the magazine and found a photograph of an actress who now looked at least fifteen years younger in a wax dummy kind of way.

Sho closed his eyes and buried his face in Jun’s arm with a groan of despair.

“A-ha! He blinked!” Aiba yelled, high fiving Nino before taking a gulp of beer, “And it was a telling blink.”

Even though Sho’s voice was muffled by the fabric of Jun’s shirt, his voice was clear enough for Jun and the others to understand. “Please save me.”

“Hmmm, I don’t know. I’m pretty curious myself about the answers to these questions,” Jun giggled.

“I’ll do anything if you save me from this annoying pair of annoyances,” Sho muttered, squeezing Jun’s muscular thigh under the table.

“Hey, we heard that!” Aiba protested, weeping in mock despair and wiping an imaginary tear from his eye.

A mischievous smile lifted the corners of Jun’s lips. “Anything?”

“Anything.” Sho’s eyes were large and pleading, as he stroked the sensitive inner part of Jun’s thigh.

“Alright you two. Break it up,” Nino rolled his eyes at their cuddling, standing up and using his hands to pry them off each other.

“Not sure if we can manage that,” Jun replied, making a grab for Sho, as Aiba dragged their chairs apart.

The door to the private dining room swung open and Satoshi entered, groaning at the sight of Sho and Jun clutching at each other. He was even more distressed to see the empty plates which littered the table. “Did you guys eat without me again? I’m starving.”

“Not our fault that you’re late,” Sho mumbled as he edged his chair across the floor in pursuit of Jun.

“Don't worry Oh-chan,” Nino said reassuringly. “This is a restaurant remember? All you have to do is pick up a menu and order something. That’s if Sho and Aiba haven’t cleaned out the kitchen.”

“Oi!” Aiba protested. “I didn't eat that much. Sho’s the one who ate both his and Jun’s portion of the seafood hotpot.”

Using the cover of everyone else’s good natured bickering; Sho took Jun’s hand and drew him over to a quieter part of the room. Taking advantage of a strategically placed potted tree, Sho took the chance to pull Jun into an embrace.

“Are you sure that you don’t want to move in with me?” Sho breathed against the side of Jun’s neck.

The spicy fragrance that Jun was wearing made Sho’s senses swirl with delight. “We could finally have some privacy.”

Jun rolled his eyes, but snuggled into Sho’s hold anyway. “We both live alone. You can’t get more private than that.”

“I’d hardly call it ‘private’ if you count Nino, who spends more time on your sofa than we do,” Sho sighed.

“Why, what do you want to do on the sofa?” Jun asked with mock innocence.

Sho nuzzled Jun’s ear and whispered, “Many things, I want to do so many things.”

“Will you two just move in together already?” Nino called from across the room where he, Satoshi and Aiba were watching Sho and Jun’s cuddling with apparent fascination. “You’re corrupting the children,” he added, placing one hand each over Aiba and Satoshi’s eyes.

“Well, we wouldn’t want that would we?” Jun asked, unable to contain his laughter as he watched his three friends wrestle each other.

“So is that a yes?” Sho could hardly contain his excitement as he squeezed Jun’s waist tightly.

“YES!” Aiba, Nino and Satoshi yelled.

“Just as long as you take your sofa with you,” Nino added. “I like to be comfortable.”

Aiba and Satoshi covered Nino’s mouth and dragged him to the far end of the table where they couldn’t see around the potted plants while they all waited for Jun’s answer.

Sho was equally nervous as he gazed into Jun’s eyes, as always, enraptured by the ever-changing shades of brown and the love which glowed from their warm depths. “I'm serious, and I hope that these last six months have proven it. I love you, Jun, and I don't want to spend another minute without you. Please move in with me.”

Jun’s eyes glowed as if lit from within, as he pressed a gentle and tender kiss to Sho’s lips. “Six months ago I asked for space, but now I know that whatever space I have, I want to share with you. I love you Sakurai Sho.”

“We love you too!” Aiba yelled, flinging himself across the room and attaching himself to Sho and Jun.

He was followed more slowly by Satoshi and Nino who watched with amusement as Sho tried to pry Aiba off Jun’s back. As Jun giggled helplessly, Satoshi and Nino shared a look, shrugged, and then flung themselves in to join the group hug.

“Guys, keep your distance, don't...aarrgghh.” As Sho was knocked to the ground, he ended up with Jun on top of him, with his plump lips tantalizingly close, and Sho took the opportunity to kiss him until they were both breathless.