![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Picking Up The Pieces
Pairing: Matsumiya
Genre: fluff
Rating: PG
Summary: Even though Jun’s life is a mess right now, he knows that he can always rely on his best friend Nino to help him to pick up the pieces. But this time something feels different.
Notes: Happy belated birthday to Nino! And of course happy birthday to his best friend J. I originally intended to post this for Nino’s birthday, but it turned out be much bigger than the drabble I originally intended to write. I hope that wherever the elusive Jun finds himself today on his birthday, he is having a wonderful time and being showered with love.
Jun looked himself up and down in the mirror. The new red tie was the perfect touch. Tonight had to go well. It was the opening of his friend Ohno Satoshi’s newest exhibition at one of the trendiest galleries in Tokyo. It provided the perfect opportunity to have the first date-night in years with his live-in boyfriend Akanishi Jin. If it went well, they could repeat the exercise, and then maybe things wouldn't seem so...flat.
Their relationship was fine, but watching TV almost every night alone in his PJ’s while waiting for Jin to come home from working late was making Jun worry that life was passing them by. He was not going to be stuck in a rut at thirty, so it was time to do something about it.
Jun walked into the living room where Jin was looking at his phone.
“Ready for our date?” Jun asked enthusiastically.
“What are you on about?”
“This is the first time we've been out together in ages.”
“Oh. Right.” Jin hit send on his phone and stuffed it in his suit jacket.
“Do you like my tie?” Jun prompted.
“Yep.”
Jin couldn't have sounded more lacklustre if he’d tried, but Jun brushed it aside. He was determined to make this a good night.
++
Ugh, Jun didn't want to see his cock. Not here, in a toilet cubicle of the art gallery in the middle of Ohno’s exhibition. But there it was, gazing up at him. He scowled back.
“I really do need to pee. I wasn't expecting you to follow me in here.” His eyes shifted to the smug face of the cock’s owner.
“Bet you're glad I did though, eh?” Jin twitched his penis so it gave a jaunty bow, like the head of a nodding dog. “Why are you in a huff?”
“This was supposed to be a romantic date…”
“Well, what do you call this?” He shook his cock back and forth. “Mr Romance is waiting for you.”
Jun put his hands over his face, blocking himself from the unblinking one-eyed stare, and hoping it would go away. It was very off-putting. It also made him want to laugh, but from past experiences he knew it wouldn't go down very well. “We’re at the art gallery on the first date we’ve had in ages, and you're in the toilet showing me your penis. Please can we just go back to the exhibition?”
“And once again, you don't want to have sex with me,” Jin growled.
Ouch. Jun had hoped that Jim hadn't noticed. It hadn't been deliberate, but the less frequent things got, the more often he was able to push it to the back of his mind and act as if nothing had changed. Busted.
Jun emerged from his hands and found Jin looking at him coldly. He felt himself turning as red as his new ‘reignite the passion’ red tie. “It’s not that I don't want to. It’s just that…”
Jin zipped himself back up, furiously. “When we first got together you’d do it anywhere. You were sexy and exciting. But I guess you're not that person anymore. You’re the problem here. YOU ARE THE PROBLEM.”
“Sometimes it feels like you don't love me anymore.” Jun hated himself as soon as the words left his mouth. He didn't know when he’d become someone who talked like this, but he was somehow unable to stop. Jun heard his heart thudding. “Like it's only about the sex.”
Jin’s voice was eerily calm. “Five years, Jun. It’s a long time to hold the interest, especially when you're turning me down left, right and centre.”
Jun stared at him, dumfounded, as he flung open the door of the cubicle. Jin turned back, his face impassive. “Let's not force this. Sounds like we're both a bit bored. I guess we're done here.”
As Jin stormed from the bathroom, Jun stood frozen, staring at his face in the mirror. A tornado had just ripped through his life, destroying everything he’d built over the last five years.
++
Jun pushed open the bathroom door, making his way back into the exhibition space. His friends Ohno and Nino were deep in conversation, but the look of concern when they turned to him proved that even though he tried to control his face, his efforts had failed.
“What’s happened?” Nino asked.
Jun tried to steady his breathing. “Nothing much. Jin and I had a bit of a falling out. But Ohno, your exhibition is great.”
Ohno shook his head dismissively at the attempt to change the subject. “Jun, talk to us.”
Jun couldn't look either of them in the eye without wanting to crumple to the ground and tear at the floorboards with his fingernails. He stared at the tiny flecks of paint on Ohno’s suit jacket, focusing on the rise and fall of his chest.
“It was nothing; we’re just...sort of...not together anymore.”
“How did it happen?” Nino’s eyes blazed. “He said he doesn't want you?”
“That was partly it. He got his dick out and I said ‘No! Get it away!’”
Nino took Jun’s hand. “Do you want to see mine instead? It’s much better. You’ll feel better just after seeing it. Come on. I’ll show you.” He started leading Jun back to the toilet.
“No, really, I’m fine.” Jun dropped Nino’s hand, laughing despite himself.
++
Jun paused outside the gallery. Ohno and Nino had tried to make him stay; clearly disturbed by the bleakness of his eyes, but Jun couldn't stand to be inside for a minute longer.
He was by himself on the dark chilly street. He stood for a moment, closing his eyes and letting the breeze cool his cheeks. How could he go home? When this night began he had no idea it would end in an awkward ‘broken-up couple living in the same house’ scenario from a sitcom.
When he opened his eyes, he saw Jin coming around the corner at the very top of the street.
Jun was still boiling all the way down to his toes with anger, but relief still swept over him. Maybe they could still sort this out.
Then Jin stopped outside the bar on the corner. He broke into a series of cheers and laughs as he greeted a large group of friends.
He looked cheerful.
Jun was a mess, and Jin didn't even look a bit sad about the life he’d just lost.
Jin threw his arms around a girl who emerged from the centre of the group. They laughed together as his hands groped her perfect butt cheeks.
They kissed.
Things. Just. Got. Worse.
Jun’s legs made an executive decision propelling him up the road and into a mellow bar opposite Jin’s location.
The darkness of the red upholstery and mahogany tables shrouded him and Jun took a seat on a stool at the far end of the bar, next to the window which looked out onto the street. He never took his eyes off Jin.
Jun’s whole body was trembling, and the sensation that his heart had been scraped out of his chest made him curl inwards. Jin had been cheating on him, making their whole life together a lie.
The barman materialised in the corner of Jun’s vision. “Can I get you a drink?” he asked cheerily.
“Can I get a bottle of house red please? One glass.” Jun whispered, as if Jin would hear his voice on the wind and turn to look at him.
Jun dragged his eyes away from the window for a second to look at the bartender, who had light brown hair smoothly parted in the middle and cut short in the back. His name badge read ‘Aiba Masaki’.
The bartender opened the bottle and poured a measure into the glass and set them both down in front of Jun. His smile was full of sympathy and his eyes were kind. “This whole bottle’s just for you?”
“Yep.” Jun went back to watching his partner of five years stroking someone else's bottom. He wanted to break every bone in that hand. “Just for me.”
Jun took some hearty gulps of wine and went back to squinting at Jin, misting up the window with his breath. Was that a look of pain? Was one of Jin’s friends patting him on the back out of consolation? Was he wiping a tear?
No. No, he was crying with laughter at something she said.
“You’re not funny.” Jun hissed, his fingers clenching around the stem of his glass.
“He’s definitely laughing at her stupid hair and her ugly dress.” Aiba was standing behind Jun with a cloth flung over his shoulder, staring out across the street.
Jun half-smiled through his pain. “What?”
“Yeah, he's thinking, ‘why am I being forced to listen to your drivel’”, Aiba said, obviously warming to his theme.
Jun laughed bitterly and took another gulp.
Trying to distract Jun, Aiba said, “I like your tie.”
Jun had been best friends with his tie at the beginning of the evening. Now he looked at it with a scowl, as if it had been the catalyst of disaster. Impulsively he tugged it from his neck and handed it to the bartender. “Then consider it yours.”
“Ow, wow. Thanks. Are you sure?”
“Definitely.”
Aiba watched as Jun topped up his glass. “Date night gone wrong?”
“Dunno,” Jun sighed. “I haven't been on a date in years, so maybe it's normal for the man to run off halfway through.”
“I’ve never been on a date with a man, so I’m not sure. But it doesn't sound quite right.”
Jun shook his head and gazed outside.
“If you stop staring you never have to see him again.”
“But I do.” Jun finished off the glass and poured himself another. “I live with the bastard.”
“Sorry.” Aiba slid a bowl of pretzels over to Jun, before going over to serve another customer, hoping that Jun would eat at least a few to sop up some of the alcohol.
“I hate him.” Jun whispered to no one in particular. He felt defeated.
But as he watched Jin enter the bar opposite, with his hand firmly clenched on the blonde girl’s skanky ass, a new sense of outrage began to smoulder in Jun’s chest. “I think I'm going to confront him. He's got no right to treat me like that; and I should do it now, while he can't deny it or try to get out of it,” Jun declared loudly, to the empty space where Aiba had been. He stood up abruptly, knocking his stool backwards onto the wooden floor with a clatter. Jun gave Aiba a salute and stumbled out of the bar. Wow, the wine had hit fast. He regretted gulping it.
In the cold night air Jun contemplated throwing up and then curling up on the pavement for a nap. But he was the wronged party here. How dare Jin blame him for the breakup?
“I’m going to knee him in the balls.”
A couple exiting the bar behind him gave Jun a look and hastily scuttled away, but Jun didn't care. Emboldened by alcohol he walked across the street and into the bar. He stopped a few metres away from Jin, his voice caught in his throat. How had it got to this, where he was too scared to speak to his own boyfriend? An hour ago they were a couple; they had a whole past of experiences, memories and intimacies. He’d assumed they had a future.
He looked at Jin’s face. The face he knew as well as his own. He knew the feel of his eyebrows and his ears, the colour of his eyelashes, the smell of his skin.
The group fell silent and Jin turned to face him, his hand dropping from the back of the girl’s jeans. “Jun.” Jin reached for him, and Jun jumped back from his touch.
“That's been on her ass.”
The girl sniggered: “This is awkward.”
Jun gave her a look which made her flinch and withdraw back into the group. He turned back to Jin. “Screw you for making me feel guilty, you lying cheating bastard.”
As Jun’s knee made contact with Jin’s balls, leaving him writhing on the floor, he felt a puzzling lack of satisfaction.
Jun turned his back on them all, walking away from the person who knew him the best and cared about him the least.
Outside, he sagged against the wall, fighting down the urge to throw up. Deep in his pocket his phone rang, and Jun sluggishly drew it out. It was a message from Nino.
You’re great, you know that, right?
PS: I'm available anytime you want me to kick him in the balls.
Jun snorted and quickly replied.
Already got that covered, but thanks for the offer.
Jun smiled as he hit send. Maybe - not now, but in the future - he’d be okay. He had his friends.
Every inch of him felt beaten, but Nino’s message was like some strong arms lifting him upright. It was time to go. But where?
++
Jun groaned as he tried to peel his face off the couch. As soon as he could manage to drag himself upright, he would need to clean his drool stains from the cream fabric.
The apartment provided to his older brother as part of his job as a doctor at the adjoining hospital was tiny, but nicely furnished. Despite the fact that while studying Sho had been the biggest slob ever, he now kept the small space almost as pristine as the paediatric ward where he worked.
He staggered to the bathroom, wincing at the sight of his bloodshot eyes and stubble as he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror as he splashed water on his face. After using the toilet, he thought about taking a shower and brushing his teeth, but it all seemed rather pointless.
His brother was waiting with a cup of coffee and some painkillers when Jun shuffled back out. Rather than the disapproval Jun was expecting, he received a sympathetic wince at his dishevelled state as he was steered to the table where a mound of toast was waiting.
“Thanks, Sho.”
“Eat something. It will help,” Sho said as he slathered his toast with butter.
So. Loud.
The sound of Sho’s knife scraping across the toast reverberated through the space where Jun’s brain used to be. “Don’t you have any food which is quieter?”
“Do you really want to try my cooking when your stomach is in such a delicate condition?”
“Toast will be fine.” Jun nibbled on the corner of a slice and took a cautious sip of coffee.
“You can stay here as long as you like. Sorry that the couch is kind of small.”
Oh. Jun had forgotten that he not only was newly single, but also newly homeless.
“Only until I sort myself out. I promise.”
Sho shrugged and took a huge bite of toast, with a crunch which sent stabs of pain through Jun’s head. “I’m free this morning if you want to go and pick up some clothes and stuff.”
“But what if he’s there? With the bimbo? I don’t want to be seen.”
“Don’t worry. I’ve got it covered.”
++
Their outfits were black. Very, very black.
Jun had a sneaking suspicion that Sho was humouring him, but the all-black ensemble he was currently wearing somehow gave him courage. Despite that, he found himself clinging to the wall in the hallway, attempting to blend in with the shadows.
“I’ll knock and see if he answers.”
“Knocking kind of defeats the purpose of dressing like wannabe ninjas, but go ahead. Please don’t punch him if he does.” Jun had a sudden recollection of Sho punching a perv who had groped Jun’s ass on a crowded bus when he was only twelve.
“You’re worried that I might hurt him?”
Sho was looking at Jun as if he’d lost his mind, but Jun wasn’t that pathetic. “I’m worried that he might get blood on my favourite shoes which are sitting in the entryway.”
It was hard to hear over the loud beating of his heart but when there was no response to Sho’s knock, Jun cautiously unlocked the door. He half expected to see a trail of underwear leading to the bedroom, but it was obvious that the bed hadn’t been slept in. That was a relief.
As Sho grabbed Jun’s giant suitcase and they began to fill it, Jun fought down the urge to take a match and set the apartment ablaze. How could he have been so naive? Sitting at home waiting for Jin to offer him some crumbs of affection, like some faithful labrador? He definitely needed to stock up on red wine on the way home.
++
Jun’s phone jingled. He smiled as he read the text message.
“That better not be him,” Sho spoke up, unconsciously twitching his hands in and out of fists.
“No, it's Nino. He wants to meet up this afternoon. I’ve been kind of avoiding him.”
Sho grinned. “I like Nino a lot. He’s a great guy. Why are you avoiding him?”
“Avoiding all men, I should say. No offense.”
He quickly typed back.
Not ready to face the world yet, can we give it another day?
Nino’s reply was immediate.
Even if I offer to show you my dick?
Jun laughed out loud as he typed his reply.
One of these days I am going to say yes just to see the look on your face. For now - forget it.
++
Two weeks later, Nino was already seated when Jun arrived at the coffee shop. He stood up and pulled out a chair for Jun before walking over to the counter and picking up two drinks.
Jun eyed the mound of whipped cream floating on top of his mug as Nino placed the drink in front of him. A moment later Nino sat a plate of chocolate brownie squares beside the mug before taking his seat.
“You ordered without asking me?” Jun wanted to be cross with Nino, but the delicious smell of molten chocolate caused the corners of his mouth to turn upwards all by themselves. He took a tentative sip and a wave of pure pleasure ran through his veins at the taste of the extra dark hot chocolate.
“I hate to call you predictable, but you always order the same thing when you’re depressed. You forgo your usual skinny latte with almond milk and go straight for the hard stuff.” Nino gestured to the plate of brownies.
Was he depressed that often? Was he really that predictable? Jun froze with a brownie halfway to his mouth.
“Only over the last six months or so,” Nino said, looking at Jun with concern. “It was obvious that you weren’t happy.”
Oops. Jun realised that he’d spoken out loud. Now he looked like a complete idiot.
“You aren’t an idiot.”
Jun clapped a hand over his mouth.
“Don’t panic. You didn’t say it, but I knew that you were thinking it.”
“That’s why you’re such an awesome friend; nobody knows me better than you, apart from Sho, I guess.”
“Ouch.” Nino clutched his chest dramatically. “Friend zoned once again.”
Jun’s heart felt lighter than it had in months as he offered Nino a consolation brownie. Why couldn’t he find a boyfriend who was as loyal and supportive as Nino? Did he even dare to jump into the dating pool again? It was definitely too soon to enter into something serious, but there was no way that he was going to allow that bastard Jin to ruin the rest of his life. Five wasted years were more than enough.
“So, what do you think?” Nino looked at Jun expectantly.
Crap. What had Nino been saying? Jun hadn’t realised that he’d spaced out so completely. “Um…Yes?”
Nino looked as happy as a dog with two tails, so Jun figured that he’d given the correct answer.
“Great. You can move in any time you like.”
Move in? Jun almost choked on his hot chocolate. It appeared that he’d just agreed to become Nino’s roommate.
++
“It’s not that I want to get rid of you,” Sho insisted, as he briskly wheeled Jun’s suitcase over the uneven pavement in front of the small apartment block. “I think that living with Nino will be good for you. You could do worse.”
Wait. Did Sho think that Nino and he were a couple now, or something? “He just happens to have a spare room after his last roommate bailed on him, and needs help with the rent.” Jun stabbed viciously at the elevator button and glared back over his shoulder at his brother. “He is the best friend I could ever ask for, but we're just friends.”
“Okay, if you insist.” Sho tried, and failed, to hide his smug smile.
++
“So where are you taking me for welcome drinks?” Nino looked up at Jun and grinned, almost tripping on the dark sidewalk.
“Watch where you’re walking instead of looking at me.” Jun hastily grabbed Nino’s hand, pulling him upright. “And since I moved in with you, shouldn’t you be the one taking me for drinks?”
“Sorry? What?” Nino cupped his ear. “For some reason I can’t hear what you’re saying.”
For what felt to Jun to be the first time in forever, a giggle burst out of his mouth at Nino’s antics. Where had that come from? When had the desire to cry twenty-four hours a day left him?
Nino’s ear was cold against Jun’s lips as he bent down and shouted. “HOW ABOUT NOW?”
“AAAARRGGGHHH! Now you are definitely paying.” Nino groaned and rubbed his ear.
As if Nino had ever planned on paying a cent in the first place.
Jun didn’t mind though. It was nice to get out and perhaps take the first step to feeling human once again.
“I stumbled across this really nice, quiet bar a few weeks ago. It’s a real haven.” Jun tried to keep emotion out of his voice as he recalled watching through a foggy window as Jin’s hands groped a certain ass. There was no way that he was going to allow the memories of that night to destroy his future. It was better to confront them head on.
++
“Welcome,” Aiba Masaki chirped as Jun and Nino walked through the door.
Jun noticed something straight away. “I like your tie.”
Aiba grinned and rang his fingers over the red silk. “Thanks. It was a gift from a customer.”
Nino stood to one side, watching the exchange with a slight scowl on his face as the pair chatted.
Oh. Jun realized that he’d forgotten his manners. “Sorry Nino. I should’ve introduced you to Aiba-san.”
“Don’t worry about me. Feel free to get back to your flirting.” Nino sat down and raked his eyes over the tall bartender, who blushed furiously.
Did Nino sound jealous? Surely not. Jun figured that he was definitely imagining the barbed tone of Nino’s voice due to the tension he was feeling at being back in the bar.
“Oh, I didn't...I mean I don't,” Aiba stuttered.
“What Aiba-san is trying to tell you, is that he is definitely not interested in me or in fact any guy at all,” Jun hastily explained. “He simply helped me out when I desperately needed a friend.”
Hmm, why was it suddenly so important to set Nino straight? Jun gave himself a mental shake and ordered a glass of red for himself and a beer for Nino, who was still frowning at him.
“It’s great to see that you’ve moved on and found somebody new,” Aiba said as he placed the drink in front of Jun. “He’s really cute.”
Nino immediately perked up and preened a little. “I am, and it’s nice to have someone who appreciates the fact.” He nudged Jun with his elbow and pulled a face. “This one seems to be completely oblivious to my charms.”
Aiba frowned. “Sorry, I didn't mean to cause any drama. I shouldn't have assumed anything; it's just that you two seem really comfortable with each other.”
“Like a pair of old socks,” Jun joked as he took a swig of his wine.
Crap. Now Nino was looking at him with those puppy eyes. His attempt to make light of the situation had come out all wrong. Jun hastily added, “Only joking. Nino is my best friend. He knows me better than anyone else in the world.”
“Someone has to hold his hair back and help him to throw up when he drinks too much,” Nino agreed.
“Aww,” Aiba cooed. “See, I knew you two were a perfectly matched pair, just like a comfy pair of fuzzy socks.”
“Purely platonic socks.”
++
Jun knew that he was drinking too much, but it was the only way to cope with the unexpected flashes of his past history with bastard-Jin which assailed his thoughts whenever he was alone.
He leaned forward on the sofa and lifted the bottle to refill his glass, only to have it unceremoniously snatched out of his hand.
“As apparently the only responsible adult here, I am cutting off your alcohol for the night,” Nino said as he screwed the lid on firmly and moved the bottle out of Jun’s reach.
“Fine.” Nino looked slightly out of focus. Jun removed his glasses, gave them a rub with the tail end of his shirt and slid them back on his nose. Now the whole room looked fuzzy. Perhaps it was time to get his eyes tested again?
Nino replaced Jun’s wine glass with a bottle of water and placed two paracetamol capsules beside it. “Drink this, and take these.”
Jun waved his hand dismissively, and fumbled his phone out of his pocket. He didn't have time for distractions. The dating app which he'd signed up to was sending him a constant stream of notifications, and he needed to respond to them, otherwise the guys would slip through his fingers, just like Jin. “After I find a guy to revenge fuck.”
Surely Jin would be able to sense him having an explosive orgasm, and feel the shame of being outfucked by a complete stranger? Jun was sure that he could feel it in his gut when Jin was getting sexed up by the blond bimbo.
“That is one of your most stupid and self-destructive ideas yet.” Nino tried to grab the phone, but Jun jumped up and held it above his head just out of reach.
“I need to do this. The only way to get Jin out of my system is to date other people.”
“Well. Hello?” Nino pointed to his own face. “Am I not people too?”
“I meant people who I can have a sexy relationship with; not just a friend.”
Nino turned away, dashing into his room and firmly closing the door behind him, leaving Jun wondering what he’d said wrong.
++
“Wakey wakey.” Nino flung back the closed curtains of Jun’s bedroom window.
“Ow.” Jun sat up in bed and squinted and blinked at the fuzzy Nino-shaped silhouette standing in front of the window. The sun seemed to be boring a hole from the back of his eyeballs directly into his drink-addled brain. “Light bright.”
Nino wordlessly handed Jun an industrial strength cup of coffee and a pair of sunglasses.
“While you were unconscious I turned down ‘bigscrewer69’ and deleted the app and all of the dick pics off your phone.”
Jun barely caught the phone as Nino hurled it at his head, spilling the coffee onto his lap. He yelped and flapped the sheet in an attempt to save his manhood.
“Looks like you might have to postpone your revenge fuck for a day or two,” Nino snarked.
Drat. It appeared that he had now pissed off his best friend. Somehow everything he said to Nino lately was wrong. Jun cautiously sipped the remainder of his coffee as he shuffled to the bathroom to run some cold water on his man parts.
++
When Jun finally emerged from the bedroom after a long shower to try and leach the alcohol from his pores, Nino was already waiting outside the doorway.
“While you were trying, and failing, to make yourself appear more human, I found you a date.”
Jun’s head was still aching, and his tongue felt like sandpaper. What had he missed? Nino had gone from deleting his dating app, to actively procuring him a date while he’d been attempting to make himself feel and look more human.
“This is his number. His name is Teddy. He’ll meet you at the clock on the corner of the European food festival at midday.” Nino handed Jun a piece of paper while wearing a wide grin which didn't quite meet his eyes. “It will give me a chance to catch up with my gaming without having to nurse your latest hangover.”
“Okay, okay. Got it.” Jun wondered why on earth he was going along with this. Did Nino want him out of the apartment so very badly? Was he turning into the kind of roommate that nobody could stand to be with?
“He will be easy to recognize. He always wears shades.”
After checking his appearance in the hall mirror, Jun grabbed his jacket and put on his shoes.
“Oh, and his legs look too short for his body, but his big personality makes up for it.”
Jun was already on his way out the door, when Nino added that last bit. He was almost certain that he heard Nino snicker, but surely it was his imagination.
++
Jun’s eyes scanned the crowd for Teddy. He thought he spotted him. It must be him.
He was dressed in a huge hand knitted sweater in an unappealing shade of sludge, with coiffed hair, short legs, and a bored expression on his round cheeks. Jun cursed Nino under his breath as he approached Teddy and caught his eye. “Teddy?”
Teddy turned to face Jun, removing his sunglasses and giving him the once-over, spending an embarrassingly long time on his crotch.
“John, right?”
“Jun, actually.”
“My mistake. You look like a nice guy.” He moved to one side. “These are my parents.” He motioned to an overdressed middle-aged couple standing behind him.
Whaaaaat?
“Um, okay...Hello.” Jun nodded his head at them, and they kind of smiled back at him.
“I’m fading away,” Teddy declared, rubbing his pot belly which hung down over his belt. “Shall we hit the food stalls?”
Food was the last thing Jun’s stomach wanted, but as he started walking towards the stalls he became less concerned about his hangover and more about the parents who were coming along for the ride.
“Are your parents visiting for the weekend?” he asked Teddy.
He threw Jun a quizzical look. “No, we live in Roppongi.”
“Together?”
“Of course. My father's a surgeon. We have the most incredible house. I’d be a damned fool to move out, don't you think?”
You don't want to know what I think, Jun thought.
“So Jun, tell me why you're single. You’re handsome enough, what's wrong with you? Don't worry if it's because you have a small dick. Mine more than makes up for it.”
Jun looked at him, aghast.
Teddy ran his fingers through his hair, seemingly oblivious to Jun’s look of horror.
“Tell me why your last relationship ended. You weren't a nag were you? I bloody hate nags.”
“Bloody off-putting,” piped up Teddy's father.
“It ended because I cut his balls off with a pizza slicer.”
They didn't hear Jun; all three of them were barging to a sauerkraut stand and making disgusting orgasmic sounds together.
“Try some.”
Jun recoiled from the dripping forkful. “Well, I need to be going.”
“Already?”
“Afraid so,” Jun said, backing away. “There's someone I need to see. Urgently.” And kill.
“Oh, that's too bad. Here's my card if you want to go out again.”
“Thanks.” Jun took the card and looked around for a bin.
Teddy stood on tip-toe and leaned in for a kiss which Jun dodged, accidentally elbowing him in the solar plexus. As Teddy wheezed and his parents rushed to his aid, Jun hastily made his escape.
He brought his parents along on the date. Life partner found! Nino, how can I ever find a way to repay you?
A chill ran down Nino’s spine as he read the message from Jun, and resigned himself to never sleeping peacefully ever again.
++
Why? The word had throbbed through Jun’s head the entire way back to Nino’s apartment. Why had his supposedly best friend set him up with such a revolting specimen? He thought that he meant something to Nino, just as Nino was important to him. This hurt. In fact it hurt his heart more than Jin dumping him. Hang on. That couldn’t be possible, could it?
Unsurprisingly, Nino was absent when Jun arrived. Unfortunately so was Jun’s stash of alcohol when he went searching for it in the kitchen. The cupboard was literally bare. Nino had apparently decided that he needed to be permanently cut off from his security blanket.
For a moment Jun considered going out and buying some more, but the last shred of common sense left in his brain told him that if he wanted to sort things out with Nino he needed to be fully in charge of his faculties.
Afternoon turned into evening and Nino still didn't return home. Bored by sitting around and waiting, Jun made himself some instant noodles from Nino’s stash and scrolled through the notifications on his phone.
He dropped his chopsticks into the plastic bowl, sending a splash of sauce over his shirt when he saw a photograph posted on Ohno’s instagram page five minutes earlier. One where Nino was sitting on the artist's lap at a fancy restaurant looking smug.
Upon closer inspection, he wasn't actually on his lap, but he was sitting close enough for there not to be an atom of space between their bodies. Obviously this was the reason why Nino had tried to set him up with the horrible Teddy; he wanted him out of the way so he could canoodle with Ohno.
Jun had no explanation for the way his heart seemed to have turned to stone, or the leaden feeling in his gut. If he didn't know better, he might think that it was because he was jealous.
The silence of the apartment highlighted the fact that Jun was once again all alone. There was no way that he wanted Nino to come home (if he came home) from being with Ohno to see him sitting here brooding, so he slipped on his jacket and grabbed his keys. Despite the fact that it was now raining heavily, and windy enough to whip the trees around like a witch's fingers, Jun decided that a walk was precisely what he needed.
++
With visions of Nino and Ohno playing across the movie screen of Jun’s mind, he didn't notice how long he’d been walking for until he stopped at a crossing and realized that he didn't have a clue where he was.
Great. Now he was probably going to be eaten by a roving pack of city wolves and his bleached bones would be found in six months’ time. It would serve Nino right, not that he cared what Nino thought. Or did. Especially with Ohno.
As icy water trickled down his neck, Jun spun in a slow circle trying to see if anything looked slightly familiar, but he had definitely never been in this part of town before. Apparently taxis weren't aware of the existence of these streets either. As he pulled his phone out of his pocket the screen flickered and died; apparently it had drowned in the deluge.
Jun shivered and trudged on, shoving his hands in his pockets to try and thaw out his frozen fingers. As he stepped off the pavement he accidentally put his foot in a pothole, sending water splashing up to his knees.
Over the next half hour he used every swear word he knew and possibly invented some new ones. It somehow made walking easier, even though by the thudding behind his eyeballs his hangover headache had apparently decided on round two.
As he wiped water from his eyes he finally spotted a familiar building. The bar where he’d confronted Jin and the bimbo. Fabulous. Just what he needed to make this day even better.
Jun froze, bracing himself for the pain of the memory of that night to overwhelm him, but all he felt was emptiness and a faint buzzing noise in his head.
He realized that salvation, and a warming glass of red wine was at hand, and slogged his way across the road to the cozy bar where Aiba worked.
++
“You look hot.”
“Thank you.”
“No, I mean you look sick. Go home.” Aiba placed a glass down on the bar in front of Jun.
Jun frowned at the glass. His requested wine looked suspiciously like fizzy water. “Can’t. Nino hates me.”
A frown marred Aiba’s usually cheerful face. “That's not possible.”
“Then why did he set me up with the date from hell and then go out to dinner to celebrate the fact?” A few of Jun’s brain cells banded together and told him that he was probably being overly dramatic and leaping to unfounded conclusions, but the majority of his brain effectively gagged them and shoved them to the back of his mind.
“Nino-san didn't strike me as someone who would deliberately hurt you,” Aiba said calmly, as he placed a couple of paracetamol and a bar towel next to Jun’s glass of water and gestured for Jun to use them. “In fact he actually gave me the opposite impression. He seemed pretty smitten with you.”
The paracetamol somehow wedged themselves in Jun’s throat and he knocked the glass of water over himself in his haste to wash them down. Although he was already soaked, the iced water left a chilled patch area on his chest.
“Smitten?” The old-fashioned word rolled around in Jun’s head, riding the cresting wave of his headache. “Impossible. We’re friends. No romantic feelings whatsoever.”
Aiba raised an eyebrow in disbelief. “Are you quite sure about that?”
Jun searched for the right word to describe Nino. “He’s my...Nino. He’s just always been there.”
“And what would you do if he wasn't?”
A shiver ran down Jun’s spine and his hands shook as he attempted to dry his dripping hair. Definitely because of the cold and not at the thought of a world without Nino.
++
Maybe Aiba was concerned that his damp clothes would mess up his upholstery? Jun could think of no other explanation for the worried glances aimed at him as Aiba drove him to Nino’s place. He had insisted that Jun wait for him to quickly close up the bar so he could see him home safely, something which he’d been grateful for as his shoes were a sodden mess and taxis apparently afraid to venture out in the rain.
“Sorry for taking you out of your way.”
Aiba’s frown turned into a smile. “It’s no big deal. A friend should always be prepared to help a friend out.” His smile faltered slightly when he added, “That is, if you consider me to be a friend.”
“Of course. We’re tie buddies after all.” Jun wanted to say more, but he was having trouble keeping his eyes open.
“We’re here. Would you like me to walk you to the door?”
The concerned expression was back on Aiba’s face, so Jun pulled himself upright and widened his eyes in an attempt to look more alert. “Thank you for the ride, Aiba-chan, but I'll be fine.”
“Okay then. Say hello to your Nino for me,” Aiba replied with what appeared to be an awkward attempt at a wink.
‘Hello’ was not the word that Jun was contemplating hurling at Nino. ‘Traitor’ sprang more readily to mind.
But right now he was more concerned with the way the floor was sloping away from him and the door moving around as he attempted to fit the key into the lock.
Jun pressed his hands to the wall and braced himself for the earthquake which must be responsible for the way he was shaking.
He gave up on the key and banged on the door. It would serve Nino right to have to get out of bed (where he was hopefully alone) and let him in.
“Am I going to have to pin your house keys to your lapel like a pre-schooler?” Nino barked furiously as the door opened.
Jun opened his mouth to respond, but before he could form the words, the floor rose up and smacked him in the face.
++
"Thank goodness you're awake," Nino said, putting his book down on his lap. "I thought you were going to die on me."
"Sorry?" Jun croaked weakly. His throat was dry and his words were barely audible.
"Not to worry. At least I could catch up on my reading." Nino waggled the thick tome in front of Jun's eyes. "Feel free to go back to sleep."
It was hard for Jun to focus on what Nino was saying as the room appeared to be spinning in a distracting fashion. “I don’t understand, and you don't read.”
“Well, I do now,” Nino grumbled. “You banged on the door and then collapsed. At first I thought you were drunk, since you didn't use your key, but then I realised that you had a fever.”
“How did I end up in your bed?” Jun had a pretty good idea even before he asked the question, but he wanted to make sure.
“Because I dragged your sorry ass all the way over here from the front door, and trust me it wasn’t easy. It felt like I was hauling a side of beef. There was no way that I was going to make it the extra distance to your room.”
“And the reason that I am wearing one of your ugly oversized old t-shirts and nothing else?”
The tips of Nino’s ears flushed red. “You sweated through your own clothes and that was the only thing I could find in a hurry to fit over your exaggeratedly broad shoulders.”
“And the lack of underwear?”
“Is my reward for looking after you for the past three days?”
Three days? Jun’s brain had all the thinking power of a bath sponge, so he decided to ignore the bit about the underwear until he could cope with the answer. Even then it took him a few minutes to summon up his next question. “Three days?”
Admittedly it wasn’t a very in-depth question.
“I’ve spent the last three days mopping your fevered brow and helping you to the toilet, and now you tell me that you don't even remember? You owe me big time. Sho spent a lot of time here too. I suggested that he send you an invoice.”
Despite Nino’s taunting, Jun didn’t miss the way Nino’s fingers gripped the cover of the book hard enough for his knuckles to turn white, or the dark rings around his eyes. Vague recollections of cool hands pressed to his brow and reassuring murmurs floated through his mind. It was obvious that Nino hadn’t slept much, and Jun felt a sharp stab of guilt in the general region of his heart. “You were here.”
Nino rolled his eyes and shuffled in his seat. “Pfft, it’s my bedroom after all.”
“You. Were. Here.”
“You. Just. Said. That.”
“I remember now.” Nino’s hand was cool and soft and disappeared entirely inside Jun’s palm as Jun grabbed it, clinging tightly. “You were by my side every time I woke. Every time. Whether it was day or night. You care about me.”
“You are an idiot.” Nino allowed himself to be tugged down onto the bed, sighing as he met its springy softness, but he made sure to keep a respectable distance between himself and Jun. “I more than care about you, but you don’t seem to be able to see it, no matter how hard I try.”
“I…” But they were best friends. What if it all went wrong? Then Jun would be left with no one. He swallowed hard and propped himself up on one elbow as he turned to face Nino, who was staring hopelessly up at the ceiling. Jun tried to see Nino as his friend, rather than as someone who was making his heart flutter. Was he about to have a heart attack?
Crap, Nino was looking at him expectantly. Jun opened his mouth, but nothing came out.
“Well, I guess that’s all the answer I need,” Nino said gruffly. He tried to flounce away, but it is hard to flounce when lying on your back on a soft bed, with your hand being held very tightly. He only managed to rise up slightly before bouncing back down and scowling at Jun.
Jun tried very hard to summon the right words, but it was hard with a brain which was refusing to wake up and cope with the seriousness of the situation, and a tongue which felt like cotton wool. “Wait.”
“You want me to wait?” Nino’s mouth set in a thin line, and his eyes glittered dangerously. “What do you think I’ve been doing for the last five years while you wasted your time with that asshole? Do you have any idea how hard it was to stand by and watch him treat you like crap and not say anything?”
Wow. What? Jun’s fuzzy brain and tangled emotional state made it impossible to figure out what to say. Not that Nino seemed to need a response. It appeared that once he had unleashed his emotions it was impossible for him to stop the words pouring out.
“And then you pick up your phone and try to hook up with some sleazy random, right in front of my face, and expect me to not feel hurt? I honestly don't know why I can't shake these feelings when it's perfectly obvious that you will never see me as anything more than someone who picks up the pieces when someone else breaks your heart. ”
Hang on a minute. Why did Nino get to be the one getting angry, when he was the one sitting on Ohno’s lap gloating over Jun’s date from hell? Jun scrunched his eyebrows together and released Nino’s hand.
“It certainly didn't seem as if you were suffering after you sent me on that date, or having any difficulty in shaking off any of those pesky feelings.”
The frustration on Nino’s face morphed into an expression which Jun couldn't quite read.
“Has your fever returned? Because I have no idea what you're babbling about.”
Jun groped around and finally found his phone on the bedside cabinet. He jabbed at the screen with a trembling finger until he managed to bring up the photograph which proved his point. “If that’s not a gloating expression then I don’t know what is.”
"Eeeh? I have no idea what you're talking about." Nino snatched the phone out of Jun's hand and jumped up from the bed. "Let me see."
Jun flopped tiredly back down and watched Nino closely for signs of guilt.
"This is what you’re talking about?" Nino smiled as he handed the phone back.
Nino's smile pierced Jun's chest like a smug dagger. Too late, Jun finally admitted to himself that Nino was so much more than just a friend. To make matters worse, he was probably also going to lose Ohno as a friend at the same time. "So you admit that you wanted me out of the way so that you could snog Ohno?”
The tiny rational park of Jun’s brain piped up once again. There was a flaw in his shaky logic, and the amused look which Nino was directing at him confirmed it. So what if Nino just basically confessed? It didn't mean that he couldn't be carrying on with Ohno at the same time. In fact that would just be par for the course, if Jun’s last relationship was any indicator. Typical. The room began to spin, mirroring the merry-go-round of thoughts whirling around in his head, and apparently sucking the oxygen out of the room.
Nino’s hands were small, but surprisingly strong as they gripped Jun’s wrists. He sat back down on the bed and gave Jun a stern look with more than a hint of concern swirling in his eyes. “Look at me and breathe.”
Jun realised that's why things were spinning. Apparently he’d forgotten about that whole breathing thing. After taking a few shuddering breaths the room stilled. His lungs were much happier, but his heart was now fluttering again at the feeling of Nino holding his wrists.
“You really are an idiot,” Nino said fondly. “I admit that I was an evil shit and deliberately sent you on that date knowing that it would end in disaster. It was my last ditch effort to show you that I am so much better than everyone else out there. And as for Oh-chan, he asked me out for a drink to celebrate the fact that he sold every piece of work included in his exhibition, and since I anticipated you murdering me, I figured that staying away from the apartment for a couple of hours was the safest option. Plus of course, you know I can't resist anything which is free. And for the record, I didn't sit on his lap. The only lap I want to sit on is yours.”
“I was scared.” Jun closed his eyes to avoid losing himself in Nino warm brown ones. “Once I figured out that I care about you, I was frightened to admit my feelings even to myself. Especially myself, actually. With my track record of failed relationships I didn't want to think about the possibility of not having you in my life when it inevitably went wrong.”
“It’s not going to go wrong this time. This is probably going to sound creepy and stalkerish, but once I have you, I'm never letting go.”
“Definitely stalkerish, but oddly reassuring.” Jun felt a tentative smile hovering around his lips.
"I like you, and you like me, so where do we go from here?" Nino returned the smile and released his grip on Jun's wrists. "I have to warn you that I've been waiting for you to come to your senses for a very long time, so it would be great if we could skip past the 'getting to know' you part and move right along to the 'getting into your pants' part fairly quickly."
Jun was once again rendered speechless. The idea of having sex with Nino was something he hadn't really considered, apart from quite a few dreams of a certain variety which made his cheeks flush at the memory.
Nino noticed and placed the palm of his hand on Jun's forehead. "You’re looking a little hot. I hope your fever isn't coming back. Sho will kill me if it is."
Nino’s palm was cool and Jun closed his eyes and leaned into his touch. "I guess since we already live together, formal dating isn't really necessary, but I will need some time to get used to things."
Jun squeaked as Nino climbed over his body and hovered over him so that their noses were almost touching.
Nino spoke softly and reassuringly. “I would never force you into anything. We can go as slow or as fast as you like. You can dictate the pace. I'm more than happy to continue as we are, but with bonus cuddling and kissing.”
Nino’s lips were temptingly close, and as if triggered by the mention of kissing, Jun found himself reaching his head up and closing the space between their mouths.
After a few seconds he wondered if there was some sort of neighbourhood celebration taking place, because he felt as if he had stumbled into a fireworks display. Nino’s lips were thin but ever so soft and they moulded against his own as if they had been doing this for years.
When they parted Nino had lost his calm and composed demeanor and Jun was pleased to see that he was breathing just as hard as he was.
Nino sat up and his expression turned serious. "Before we go any further, I need to ask you an important question which will affect the course of our relationship. I know it's probably too soon, but I can't help asking."
Jun blinked and swallowed hard. It was far too soon for a proposal of marriage. Wasn't it? He nodded slowly, wondering how to frame his reply.
Nino looked deep into Jun's eyes in a way which made Jun's heart beat faster. "Want to see my dick?
Jun’s shoulders shook with suppressed laughter as he attempted to compose his face into an equally serious expression to match Nino’s. "I thought you'd never ask."
Genre: fluff
Rating: PG
Summary: Even though Jun’s life is a mess right now, he knows that he can always rely on his best friend Nino to help him to pick up the pieces. But this time something feels different.
Notes: Happy belated birthday to Nino! And of course happy birthday to his best friend J. I originally intended to post this for Nino’s birthday, but it turned out be much bigger than the drabble I originally intended to write. I hope that wherever the elusive Jun finds himself today on his birthday, he is having a wonderful time and being showered with love.
Jun looked himself up and down in the mirror. The new red tie was the perfect touch. Tonight had to go well. It was the opening of his friend Ohno Satoshi’s newest exhibition at one of the trendiest galleries in Tokyo. It provided the perfect opportunity to have the first date-night in years with his live-in boyfriend Akanishi Jin. If it went well, they could repeat the exercise, and then maybe things wouldn't seem so...flat.
Their relationship was fine, but watching TV almost every night alone in his PJ’s while waiting for Jin to come home from working late was making Jun worry that life was passing them by. He was not going to be stuck in a rut at thirty, so it was time to do something about it.
Jun walked into the living room where Jin was looking at his phone.
“Ready for our date?” Jun asked enthusiastically.
“What are you on about?”
“This is the first time we've been out together in ages.”
“Oh. Right.” Jin hit send on his phone and stuffed it in his suit jacket.
“Do you like my tie?” Jun prompted.
“Yep.”
Jin couldn't have sounded more lacklustre if he’d tried, but Jun brushed it aside. He was determined to make this a good night.
++
Ugh, Jun didn't want to see his cock. Not here, in a toilet cubicle of the art gallery in the middle of Ohno’s exhibition. But there it was, gazing up at him. He scowled back.
“I really do need to pee. I wasn't expecting you to follow me in here.” His eyes shifted to the smug face of the cock’s owner.
“Bet you're glad I did though, eh?” Jin twitched his penis so it gave a jaunty bow, like the head of a nodding dog. “Why are you in a huff?”
“This was supposed to be a romantic date…”
“Well, what do you call this?” He shook his cock back and forth. “Mr Romance is waiting for you.”
Jun put his hands over his face, blocking himself from the unblinking one-eyed stare, and hoping it would go away. It was very off-putting. It also made him want to laugh, but from past experiences he knew it wouldn't go down very well. “We’re at the art gallery on the first date we’ve had in ages, and you're in the toilet showing me your penis. Please can we just go back to the exhibition?”
“And once again, you don't want to have sex with me,” Jin growled.
Ouch. Jun had hoped that Jim hadn't noticed. It hadn't been deliberate, but the less frequent things got, the more often he was able to push it to the back of his mind and act as if nothing had changed. Busted.
Jun emerged from his hands and found Jin looking at him coldly. He felt himself turning as red as his new ‘reignite the passion’ red tie. “It’s not that I don't want to. It’s just that…”
Jin zipped himself back up, furiously. “When we first got together you’d do it anywhere. You were sexy and exciting. But I guess you're not that person anymore. You’re the problem here. YOU ARE THE PROBLEM.”
“Sometimes it feels like you don't love me anymore.” Jun hated himself as soon as the words left his mouth. He didn't know when he’d become someone who talked like this, but he was somehow unable to stop. Jun heard his heart thudding. “Like it's only about the sex.”
Jin’s voice was eerily calm. “Five years, Jun. It’s a long time to hold the interest, especially when you're turning me down left, right and centre.”
Jun stared at him, dumfounded, as he flung open the door of the cubicle. Jin turned back, his face impassive. “Let's not force this. Sounds like we're both a bit bored. I guess we're done here.”
As Jin stormed from the bathroom, Jun stood frozen, staring at his face in the mirror. A tornado had just ripped through his life, destroying everything he’d built over the last five years.
++
Jun pushed open the bathroom door, making his way back into the exhibition space. His friends Ohno and Nino were deep in conversation, but the look of concern when they turned to him proved that even though he tried to control his face, his efforts had failed.
“What’s happened?” Nino asked.
Jun tried to steady his breathing. “Nothing much. Jin and I had a bit of a falling out. But Ohno, your exhibition is great.”
Ohno shook his head dismissively at the attempt to change the subject. “Jun, talk to us.”
Jun couldn't look either of them in the eye without wanting to crumple to the ground and tear at the floorboards with his fingernails. He stared at the tiny flecks of paint on Ohno’s suit jacket, focusing on the rise and fall of his chest.
“It was nothing; we’re just...sort of...not together anymore.”
“How did it happen?” Nino’s eyes blazed. “He said he doesn't want you?”
“That was partly it. He got his dick out and I said ‘No! Get it away!’”
Nino took Jun’s hand. “Do you want to see mine instead? It’s much better. You’ll feel better just after seeing it. Come on. I’ll show you.” He started leading Jun back to the toilet.
“No, really, I’m fine.” Jun dropped Nino’s hand, laughing despite himself.
++
Jun paused outside the gallery. Ohno and Nino had tried to make him stay; clearly disturbed by the bleakness of his eyes, but Jun couldn't stand to be inside for a minute longer.
He was by himself on the dark chilly street. He stood for a moment, closing his eyes and letting the breeze cool his cheeks. How could he go home? When this night began he had no idea it would end in an awkward ‘broken-up couple living in the same house’ scenario from a sitcom.
When he opened his eyes, he saw Jin coming around the corner at the very top of the street.
Jun was still boiling all the way down to his toes with anger, but relief still swept over him. Maybe they could still sort this out.
Then Jin stopped outside the bar on the corner. He broke into a series of cheers and laughs as he greeted a large group of friends.
He looked cheerful.
Jun was a mess, and Jin didn't even look a bit sad about the life he’d just lost.
Jin threw his arms around a girl who emerged from the centre of the group. They laughed together as his hands groped her perfect butt cheeks.
They kissed.
Things. Just. Got. Worse.
Jun’s legs made an executive decision propelling him up the road and into a mellow bar opposite Jin’s location.
The darkness of the red upholstery and mahogany tables shrouded him and Jun took a seat on a stool at the far end of the bar, next to the window which looked out onto the street. He never took his eyes off Jin.
Jun’s whole body was trembling, and the sensation that his heart had been scraped out of his chest made him curl inwards. Jin had been cheating on him, making their whole life together a lie.
The barman materialised in the corner of Jun’s vision. “Can I get you a drink?” he asked cheerily.
“Can I get a bottle of house red please? One glass.” Jun whispered, as if Jin would hear his voice on the wind and turn to look at him.
Jun dragged his eyes away from the window for a second to look at the bartender, who had light brown hair smoothly parted in the middle and cut short in the back. His name badge read ‘Aiba Masaki’.
The bartender opened the bottle and poured a measure into the glass and set them both down in front of Jun. His smile was full of sympathy and his eyes were kind. “This whole bottle’s just for you?”
“Yep.” Jun went back to watching his partner of five years stroking someone else's bottom. He wanted to break every bone in that hand. “Just for me.”
Jun took some hearty gulps of wine and went back to squinting at Jin, misting up the window with his breath. Was that a look of pain? Was one of Jin’s friends patting him on the back out of consolation? Was he wiping a tear?
No. No, he was crying with laughter at something she said.
“You’re not funny.” Jun hissed, his fingers clenching around the stem of his glass.
“He’s definitely laughing at her stupid hair and her ugly dress.” Aiba was standing behind Jun with a cloth flung over his shoulder, staring out across the street.
Jun half-smiled through his pain. “What?”
“Yeah, he's thinking, ‘why am I being forced to listen to your drivel’”, Aiba said, obviously warming to his theme.
Jun laughed bitterly and took another gulp.
Trying to distract Jun, Aiba said, “I like your tie.”
Jun had been best friends with his tie at the beginning of the evening. Now he looked at it with a scowl, as if it had been the catalyst of disaster. Impulsively he tugged it from his neck and handed it to the bartender. “Then consider it yours.”
“Ow, wow. Thanks. Are you sure?”
“Definitely.”
Aiba watched as Jun topped up his glass. “Date night gone wrong?”
“Dunno,” Jun sighed. “I haven't been on a date in years, so maybe it's normal for the man to run off halfway through.”
“I’ve never been on a date with a man, so I’m not sure. But it doesn't sound quite right.”
Jun shook his head and gazed outside.
“If you stop staring you never have to see him again.”
“But I do.” Jun finished off the glass and poured himself another. “I live with the bastard.”
“Sorry.” Aiba slid a bowl of pretzels over to Jun, before going over to serve another customer, hoping that Jun would eat at least a few to sop up some of the alcohol.
“I hate him.” Jun whispered to no one in particular. He felt defeated.
But as he watched Jin enter the bar opposite, with his hand firmly clenched on the blonde girl’s skanky ass, a new sense of outrage began to smoulder in Jun’s chest. “I think I'm going to confront him. He's got no right to treat me like that; and I should do it now, while he can't deny it or try to get out of it,” Jun declared loudly, to the empty space where Aiba had been. He stood up abruptly, knocking his stool backwards onto the wooden floor with a clatter. Jun gave Aiba a salute and stumbled out of the bar. Wow, the wine had hit fast. He regretted gulping it.
In the cold night air Jun contemplated throwing up and then curling up on the pavement for a nap. But he was the wronged party here. How dare Jin blame him for the breakup?
“I’m going to knee him in the balls.”
A couple exiting the bar behind him gave Jun a look and hastily scuttled away, but Jun didn't care. Emboldened by alcohol he walked across the street and into the bar. He stopped a few metres away from Jin, his voice caught in his throat. How had it got to this, where he was too scared to speak to his own boyfriend? An hour ago they were a couple; they had a whole past of experiences, memories and intimacies. He’d assumed they had a future.
He looked at Jin’s face. The face he knew as well as his own. He knew the feel of his eyebrows and his ears, the colour of his eyelashes, the smell of his skin.
The group fell silent and Jin turned to face him, his hand dropping from the back of the girl’s jeans. “Jun.” Jin reached for him, and Jun jumped back from his touch.
“That's been on her ass.”
The girl sniggered: “This is awkward.”
Jun gave her a look which made her flinch and withdraw back into the group. He turned back to Jin. “Screw you for making me feel guilty, you lying cheating bastard.”
As Jun’s knee made contact with Jin’s balls, leaving him writhing on the floor, he felt a puzzling lack of satisfaction.
Jun turned his back on them all, walking away from the person who knew him the best and cared about him the least.
Outside, he sagged against the wall, fighting down the urge to throw up. Deep in his pocket his phone rang, and Jun sluggishly drew it out. It was a message from Nino.
You’re great, you know that, right?
PS: I'm available anytime you want me to kick him in the balls.
Jun snorted and quickly replied.
Already got that covered, but thanks for the offer.
Jun smiled as he hit send. Maybe - not now, but in the future - he’d be okay. He had his friends.
Every inch of him felt beaten, but Nino’s message was like some strong arms lifting him upright. It was time to go. But where?
++
Jun groaned as he tried to peel his face off the couch. As soon as he could manage to drag himself upright, he would need to clean his drool stains from the cream fabric.
The apartment provided to his older brother as part of his job as a doctor at the adjoining hospital was tiny, but nicely furnished. Despite the fact that while studying Sho had been the biggest slob ever, he now kept the small space almost as pristine as the paediatric ward where he worked.
He staggered to the bathroom, wincing at the sight of his bloodshot eyes and stubble as he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror as he splashed water on his face. After using the toilet, he thought about taking a shower and brushing his teeth, but it all seemed rather pointless.
His brother was waiting with a cup of coffee and some painkillers when Jun shuffled back out. Rather than the disapproval Jun was expecting, he received a sympathetic wince at his dishevelled state as he was steered to the table where a mound of toast was waiting.
“Thanks, Sho.”
“Eat something. It will help,” Sho said as he slathered his toast with butter.
So. Loud.
The sound of Sho’s knife scraping across the toast reverberated through the space where Jun’s brain used to be. “Don’t you have any food which is quieter?”
“Do you really want to try my cooking when your stomach is in such a delicate condition?”
“Toast will be fine.” Jun nibbled on the corner of a slice and took a cautious sip of coffee.
“You can stay here as long as you like. Sorry that the couch is kind of small.”
Oh. Jun had forgotten that he not only was newly single, but also newly homeless.
“Only until I sort myself out. I promise.”
Sho shrugged and took a huge bite of toast, with a crunch which sent stabs of pain through Jun’s head. “I’m free this morning if you want to go and pick up some clothes and stuff.”
“But what if he’s there? With the bimbo? I don’t want to be seen.”
“Don’t worry. I’ve got it covered.”
++
Their outfits were black. Very, very black.
Jun had a sneaking suspicion that Sho was humouring him, but the all-black ensemble he was currently wearing somehow gave him courage. Despite that, he found himself clinging to the wall in the hallway, attempting to blend in with the shadows.
“I’ll knock and see if he answers.”
“Knocking kind of defeats the purpose of dressing like wannabe ninjas, but go ahead. Please don’t punch him if he does.” Jun had a sudden recollection of Sho punching a perv who had groped Jun’s ass on a crowded bus when he was only twelve.
“You’re worried that I might hurt him?”
Sho was looking at Jun as if he’d lost his mind, but Jun wasn’t that pathetic. “I’m worried that he might get blood on my favourite shoes which are sitting in the entryway.”
It was hard to hear over the loud beating of his heart but when there was no response to Sho’s knock, Jun cautiously unlocked the door. He half expected to see a trail of underwear leading to the bedroom, but it was obvious that the bed hadn’t been slept in. That was a relief.
As Sho grabbed Jun’s giant suitcase and they began to fill it, Jun fought down the urge to take a match and set the apartment ablaze. How could he have been so naive? Sitting at home waiting for Jin to offer him some crumbs of affection, like some faithful labrador? He definitely needed to stock up on red wine on the way home.
++
Jun’s phone jingled. He smiled as he read the text message.
“That better not be him,” Sho spoke up, unconsciously twitching his hands in and out of fists.
“No, it's Nino. He wants to meet up this afternoon. I’ve been kind of avoiding him.”
Sho grinned. “I like Nino a lot. He’s a great guy. Why are you avoiding him?”
“Avoiding all men, I should say. No offense.”
He quickly typed back.
Not ready to face the world yet, can we give it another day?
Nino’s reply was immediate.
Even if I offer to show you my dick?
Jun laughed out loud as he typed his reply.
One of these days I am going to say yes just to see the look on your face. For now - forget it.
++
Two weeks later, Nino was already seated when Jun arrived at the coffee shop. He stood up and pulled out a chair for Jun before walking over to the counter and picking up two drinks.
Jun eyed the mound of whipped cream floating on top of his mug as Nino placed the drink in front of him. A moment later Nino sat a plate of chocolate brownie squares beside the mug before taking his seat.
“You ordered without asking me?” Jun wanted to be cross with Nino, but the delicious smell of molten chocolate caused the corners of his mouth to turn upwards all by themselves. He took a tentative sip and a wave of pure pleasure ran through his veins at the taste of the extra dark hot chocolate.
“I hate to call you predictable, but you always order the same thing when you’re depressed. You forgo your usual skinny latte with almond milk and go straight for the hard stuff.” Nino gestured to the plate of brownies.
Was he depressed that often? Was he really that predictable? Jun froze with a brownie halfway to his mouth.
“Only over the last six months or so,” Nino said, looking at Jun with concern. “It was obvious that you weren’t happy.”
Oops. Jun realised that he’d spoken out loud. Now he looked like a complete idiot.
“You aren’t an idiot.”
Jun clapped a hand over his mouth.
“Don’t panic. You didn’t say it, but I knew that you were thinking it.”
“That’s why you’re such an awesome friend; nobody knows me better than you, apart from Sho, I guess.”
“Ouch.” Nino clutched his chest dramatically. “Friend zoned once again.”
Jun’s heart felt lighter than it had in months as he offered Nino a consolation brownie. Why couldn’t he find a boyfriend who was as loyal and supportive as Nino? Did he even dare to jump into the dating pool again? It was definitely too soon to enter into something serious, but there was no way that he was going to allow that bastard Jin to ruin the rest of his life. Five wasted years were more than enough.
“So, what do you think?” Nino looked at Jun expectantly.
Crap. What had Nino been saying? Jun hadn’t realised that he’d spaced out so completely. “Um…Yes?”
Nino looked as happy as a dog with two tails, so Jun figured that he’d given the correct answer.
“Great. You can move in any time you like.”
Move in? Jun almost choked on his hot chocolate. It appeared that he’d just agreed to become Nino’s roommate.
++
“It’s not that I want to get rid of you,” Sho insisted, as he briskly wheeled Jun’s suitcase over the uneven pavement in front of the small apartment block. “I think that living with Nino will be good for you. You could do worse.”
Wait. Did Sho think that Nino and he were a couple now, or something? “He just happens to have a spare room after his last roommate bailed on him, and needs help with the rent.” Jun stabbed viciously at the elevator button and glared back over his shoulder at his brother. “He is the best friend I could ever ask for, but we're just friends.”
“Okay, if you insist.” Sho tried, and failed, to hide his smug smile.
++
“So where are you taking me for welcome drinks?” Nino looked up at Jun and grinned, almost tripping on the dark sidewalk.
“Watch where you’re walking instead of looking at me.” Jun hastily grabbed Nino’s hand, pulling him upright. “And since I moved in with you, shouldn’t you be the one taking me for drinks?”
“Sorry? What?” Nino cupped his ear. “For some reason I can’t hear what you’re saying.”
For what felt to Jun to be the first time in forever, a giggle burst out of his mouth at Nino’s antics. Where had that come from? When had the desire to cry twenty-four hours a day left him?
Nino’s ear was cold against Jun’s lips as he bent down and shouted. “HOW ABOUT NOW?”
“AAAARRGGGHHH! Now you are definitely paying.” Nino groaned and rubbed his ear.
As if Nino had ever planned on paying a cent in the first place.
Jun didn’t mind though. It was nice to get out and perhaps take the first step to feeling human once again.
“I stumbled across this really nice, quiet bar a few weeks ago. It’s a real haven.” Jun tried to keep emotion out of his voice as he recalled watching through a foggy window as Jin’s hands groped a certain ass. There was no way that he was going to allow the memories of that night to destroy his future. It was better to confront them head on.
++
“Welcome,” Aiba Masaki chirped as Jun and Nino walked through the door.
Jun noticed something straight away. “I like your tie.”
Aiba grinned and rang his fingers over the red silk. “Thanks. It was a gift from a customer.”
Nino stood to one side, watching the exchange with a slight scowl on his face as the pair chatted.
Oh. Jun realized that he’d forgotten his manners. “Sorry Nino. I should’ve introduced you to Aiba-san.”
“Don’t worry about me. Feel free to get back to your flirting.” Nino sat down and raked his eyes over the tall bartender, who blushed furiously.
Did Nino sound jealous? Surely not. Jun figured that he was definitely imagining the barbed tone of Nino’s voice due to the tension he was feeling at being back in the bar.
“Oh, I didn't...I mean I don't,” Aiba stuttered.
“What Aiba-san is trying to tell you, is that he is definitely not interested in me or in fact any guy at all,” Jun hastily explained. “He simply helped me out when I desperately needed a friend.”
Hmm, why was it suddenly so important to set Nino straight? Jun gave himself a mental shake and ordered a glass of red for himself and a beer for Nino, who was still frowning at him.
“It’s great to see that you’ve moved on and found somebody new,” Aiba said as he placed the drink in front of Jun. “He’s really cute.”
Nino immediately perked up and preened a little. “I am, and it’s nice to have someone who appreciates the fact.” He nudged Jun with his elbow and pulled a face. “This one seems to be completely oblivious to my charms.”
Aiba frowned. “Sorry, I didn't mean to cause any drama. I shouldn't have assumed anything; it's just that you two seem really comfortable with each other.”
“Like a pair of old socks,” Jun joked as he took a swig of his wine.
Crap. Now Nino was looking at him with those puppy eyes. His attempt to make light of the situation had come out all wrong. Jun hastily added, “Only joking. Nino is my best friend. He knows me better than anyone else in the world.”
“Someone has to hold his hair back and help him to throw up when he drinks too much,” Nino agreed.
“Aww,” Aiba cooed. “See, I knew you two were a perfectly matched pair, just like a comfy pair of fuzzy socks.”
“Purely platonic socks.”
++
Jun knew that he was drinking too much, but it was the only way to cope with the unexpected flashes of his past history with bastard-Jin which assailed his thoughts whenever he was alone.
He leaned forward on the sofa and lifted the bottle to refill his glass, only to have it unceremoniously snatched out of his hand.
“As apparently the only responsible adult here, I am cutting off your alcohol for the night,” Nino said as he screwed the lid on firmly and moved the bottle out of Jun’s reach.
“Fine.” Nino looked slightly out of focus. Jun removed his glasses, gave them a rub with the tail end of his shirt and slid them back on his nose. Now the whole room looked fuzzy. Perhaps it was time to get his eyes tested again?
Nino replaced Jun’s wine glass with a bottle of water and placed two paracetamol capsules beside it. “Drink this, and take these.”
Jun waved his hand dismissively, and fumbled his phone out of his pocket. He didn't have time for distractions. The dating app which he'd signed up to was sending him a constant stream of notifications, and he needed to respond to them, otherwise the guys would slip through his fingers, just like Jin. “After I find a guy to revenge fuck.”
Surely Jin would be able to sense him having an explosive orgasm, and feel the shame of being outfucked by a complete stranger? Jun was sure that he could feel it in his gut when Jin was getting sexed up by the blond bimbo.
“That is one of your most stupid and self-destructive ideas yet.” Nino tried to grab the phone, but Jun jumped up and held it above his head just out of reach.
“I need to do this. The only way to get Jin out of my system is to date other people.”
“Well. Hello?” Nino pointed to his own face. “Am I not people too?”
“I meant people who I can have a sexy relationship with; not just a friend.”
Nino turned away, dashing into his room and firmly closing the door behind him, leaving Jun wondering what he’d said wrong.
++
“Wakey wakey.” Nino flung back the closed curtains of Jun’s bedroom window.
“Ow.” Jun sat up in bed and squinted and blinked at the fuzzy Nino-shaped silhouette standing in front of the window. The sun seemed to be boring a hole from the back of his eyeballs directly into his drink-addled brain. “Light bright.”
Nino wordlessly handed Jun an industrial strength cup of coffee and a pair of sunglasses.
“While you were unconscious I turned down ‘bigscrewer69’ and deleted the app and all of the dick pics off your phone.”
Jun barely caught the phone as Nino hurled it at his head, spilling the coffee onto his lap. He yelped and flapped the sheet in an attempt to save his manhood.
“Looks like you might have to postpone your revenge fuck for a day or two,” Nino snarked.
Drat. It appeared that he had now pissed off his best friend. Somehow everything he said to Nino lately was wrong. Jun cautiously sipped the remainder of his coffee as he shuffled to the bathroom to run some cold water on his man parts.
++
When Jun finally emerged from the bedroom after a long shower to try and leach the alcohol from his pores, Nino was already waiting outside the doorway.
“While you were trying, and failing, to make yourself appear more human, I found you a date.”
Jun’s head was still aching, and his tongue felt like sandpaper. What had he missed? Nino had gone from deleting his dating app, to actively procuring him a date while he’d been attempting to make himself feel and look more human.
“This is his number. His name is Teddy. He’ll meet you at the clock on the corner of the European food festival at midday.” Nino handed Jun a piece of paper while wearing a wide grin which didn't quite meet his eyes. “It will give me a chance to catch up with my gaming without having to nurse your latest hangover.”
“Okay, okay. Got it.” Jun wondered why on earth he was going along with this. Did Nino want him out of the apartment so very badly? Was he turning into the kind of roommate that nobody could stand to be with?
“He will be easy to recognize. He always wears shades.”
After checking his appearance in the hall mirror, Jun grabbed his jacket and put on his shoes.
“Oh, and his legs look too short for his body, but his big personality makes up for it.”
Jun was already on his way out the door, when Nino added that last bit. He was almost certain that he heard Nino snicker, but surely it was his imagination.
++
Jun’s eyes scanned the crowd for Teddy. He thought he spotted him. It must be him.
He was dressed in a huge hand knitted sweater in an unappealing shade of sludge, with coiffed hair, short legs, and a bored expression on his round cheeks. Jun cursed Nino under his breath as he approached Teddy and caught his eye. “Teddy?”
Teddy turned to face Jun, removing his sunglasses and giving him the once-over, spending an embarrassingly long time on his crotch.
“John, right?”
“Jun, actually.”
“My mistake. You look like a nice guy.” He moved to one side. “These are my parents.” He motioned to an overdressed middle-aged couple standing behind him.
Whaaaaat?
“Um, okay...Hello.” Jun nodded his head at them, and they kind of smiled back at him.
“I’m fading away,” Teddy declared, rubbing his pot belly which hung down over his belt. “Shall we hit the food stalls?”
Food was the last thing Jun’s stomach wanted, but as he started walking towards the stalls he became less concerned about his hangover and more about the parents who were coming along for the ride.
“Are your parents visiting for the weekend?” he asked Teddy.
He threw Jun a quizzical look. “No, we live in Roppongi.”
“Together?”
“Of course. My father's a surgeon. We have the most incredible house. I’d be a damned fool to move out, don't you think?”
You don't want to know what I think, Jun thought.
“So Jun, tell me why you're single. You’re handsome enough, what's wrong with you? Don't worry if it's because you have a small dick. Mine more than makes up for it.”
Jun looked at him, aghast.
Teddy ran his fingers through his hair, seemingly oblivious to Jun’s look of horror.
“Tell me why your last relationship ended. You weren't a nag were you? I bloody hate nags.”
“Bloody off-putting,” piped up Teddy's father.
“It ended because I cut his balls off with a pizza slicer.”
They didn't hear Jun; all three of them were barging to a sauerkraut stand and making disgusting orgasmic sounds together.
“Try some.”
Jun recoiled from the dripping forkful. “Well, I need to be going.”
“Already?”
“Afraid so,” Jun said, backing away. “There's someone I need to see. Urgently.” And kill.
“Oh, that's too bad. Here's my card if you want to go out again.”
“Thanks.” Jun took the card and looked around for a bin.
Teddy stood on tip-toe and leaned in for a kiss which Jun dodged, accidentally elbowing him in the solar plexus. As Teddy wheezed and his parents rushed to his aid, Jun hastily made his escape.
He brought his parents along on the date. Life partner found! Nino, how can I ever find a way to repay you?
A chill ran down Nino’s spine as he read the message from Jun, and resigned himself to never sleeping peacefully ever again.
++
Why? The word had throbbed through Jun’s head the entire way back to Nino’s apartment. Why had his supposedly best friend set him up with such a revolting specimen? He thought that he meant something to Nino, just as Nino was important to him. This hurt. In fact it hurt his heart more than Jin dumping him. Hang on. That couldn’t be possible, could it?
Unsurprisingly, Nino was absent when Jun arrived. Unfortunately so was Jun’s stash of alcohol when he went searching for it in the kitchen. The cupboard was literally bare. Nino had apparently decided that he needed to be permanently cut off from his security blanket.
For a moment Jun considered going out and buying some more, but the last shred of common sense left in his brain told him that if he wanted to sort things out with Nino he needed to be fully in charge of his faculties.
Afternoon turned into evening and Nino still didn't return home. Bored by sitting around and waiting, Jun made himself some instant noodles from Nino’s stash and scrolled through the notifications on his phone.
He dropped his chopsticks into the plastic bowl, sending a splash of sauce over his shirt when he saw a photograph posted on Ohno’s instagram page five minutes earlier. One where Nino was sitting on the artist's lap at a fancy restaurant looking smug.
Upon closer inspection, he wasn't actually on his lap, but he was sitting close enough for there not to be an atom of space between their bodies. Obviously this was the reason why Nino had tried to set him up with the horrible Teddy; he wanted him out of the way so he could canoodle with Ohno.
Jun had no explanation for the way his heart seemed to have turned to stone, or the leaden feeling in his gut. If he didn't know better, he might think that it was because he was jealous.
The silence of the apartment highlighted the fact that Jun was once again all alone. There was no way that he wanted Nino to come home (if he came home) from being with Ohno to see him sitting here brooding, so he slipped on his jacket and grabbed his keys. Despite the fact that it was now raining heavily, and windy enough to whip the trees around like a witch's fingers, Jun decided that a walk was precisely what he needed.
++
With visions of Nino and Ohno playing across the movie screen of Jun’s mind, he didn't notice how long he’d been walking for until he stopped at a crossing and realized that he didn't have a clue where he was.
Great. Now he was probably going to be eaten by a roving pack of city wolves and his bleached bones would be found in six months’ time. It would serve Nino right, not that he cared what Nino thought. Or did. Especially with Ohno.
As icy water trickled down his neck, Jun spun in a slow circle trying to see if anything looked slightly familiar, but he had definitely never been in this part of town before. Apparently taxis weren't aware of the existence of these streets either. As he pulled his phone out of his pocket the screen flickered and died; apparently it had drowned in the deluge.
Jun shivered and trudged on, shoving his hands in his pockets to try and thaw out his frozen fingers. As he stepped off the pavement he accidentally put his foot in a pothole, sending water splashing up to his knees.
Over the next half hour he used every swear word he knew and possibly invented some new ones. It somehow made walking easier, even though by the thudding behind his eyeballs his hangover headache had apparently decided on round two.
As he wiped water from his eyes he finally spotted a familiar building. The bar where he’d confronted Jin and the bimbo. Fabulous. Just what he needed to make this day even better.
Jun froze, bracing himself for the pain of the memory of that night to overwhelm him, but all he felt was emptiness and a faint buzzing noise in his head.
He realized that salvation, and a warming glass of red wine was at hand, and slogged his way across the road to the cozy bar where Aiba worked.
++
“You look hot.”
“Thank you.”
“No, I mean you look sick. Go home.” Aiba placed a glass down on the bar in front of Jun.
Jun frowned at the glass. His requested wine looked suspiciously like fizzy water. “Can’t. Nino hates me.”
A frown marred Aiba’s usually cheerful face. “That's not possible.”
“Then why did he set me up with the date from hell and then go out to dinner to celebrate the fact?” A few of Jun’s brain cells banded together and told him that he was probably being overly dramatic and leaping to unfounded conclusions, but the majority of his brain effectively gagged them and shoved them to the back of his mind.
“Nino-san didn't strike me as someone who would deliberately hurt you,” Aiba said calmly, as he placed a couple of paracetamol and a bar towel next to Jun’s glass of water and gestured for Jun to use them. “In fact he actually gave me the opposite impression. He seemed pretty smitten with you.”
The paracetamol somehow wedged themselves in Jun’s throat and he knocked the glass of water over himself in his haste to wash them down. Although he was already soaked, the iced water left a chilled patch area on his chest.
“Smitten?” The old-fashioned word rolled around in Jun’s head, riding the cresting wave of his headache. “Impossible. We’re friends. No romantic feelings whatsoever.”
Aiba raised an eyebrow in disbelief. “Are you quite sure about that?”
Jun searched for the right word to describe Nino. “He’s my...Nino. He’s just always been there.”
“And what would you do if he wasn't?”
A shiver ran down Jun’s spine and his hands shook as he attempted to dry his dripping hair. Definitely because of the cold and not at the thought of a world without Nino.
++
Maybe Aiba was concerned that his damp clothes would mess up his upholstery? Jun could think of no other explanation for the worried glances aimed at him as Aiba drove him to Nino’s place. He had insisted that Jun wait for him to quickly close up the bar so he could see him home safely, something which he’d been grateful for as his shoes were a sodden mess and taxis apparently afraid to venture out in the rain.
“Sorry for taking you out of your way.”
Aiba’s frown turned into a smile. “It’s no big deal. A friend should always be prepared to help a friend out.” His smile faltered slightly when he added, “That is, if you consider me to be a friend.”
“Of course. We’re tie buddies after all.” Jun wanted to say more, but he was having trouble keeping his eyes open.
“We’re here. Would you like me to walk you to the door?”
The concerned expression was back on Aiba’s face, so Jun pulled himself upright and widened his eyes in an attempt to look more alert. “Thank you for the ride, Aiba-chan, but I'll be fine.”
“Okay then. Say hello to your Nino for me,” Aiba replied with what appeared to be an awkward attempt at a wink.
‘Hello’ was not the word that Jun was contemplating hurling at Nino. ‘Traitor’ sprang more readily to mind.
But right now he was more concerned with the way the floor was sloping away from him and the door moving around as he attempted to fit the key into the lock.
Jun pressed his hands to the wall and braced himself for the earthquake which must be responsible for the way he was shaking.
He gave up on the key and banged on the door. It would serve Nino right to have to get out of bed (where he was hopefully alone) and let him in.
“Am I going to have to pin your house keys to your lapel like a pre-schooler?” Nino barked furiously as the door opened.
Jun opened his mouth to respond, but before he could form the words, the floor rose up and smacked him in the face.
++
"Thank goodness you're awake," Nino said, putting his book down on his lap. "I thought you were going to die on me."
"Sorry?" Jun croaked weakly. His throat was dry and his words were barely audible.
"Not to worry. At least I could catch up on my reading." Nino waggled the thick tome in front of Jun's eyes. "Feel free to go back to sleep."
It was hard for Jun to focus on what Nino was saying as the room appeared to be spinning in a distracting fashion. “I don’t understand, and you don't read.”
“Well, I do now,” Nino grumbled. “You banged on the door and then collapsed. At first I thought you were drunk, since you didn't use your key, but then I realised that you had a fever.”
“How did I end up in your bed?” Jun had a pretty good idea even before he asked the question, but he wanted to make sure.
“Because I dragged your sorry ass all the way over here from the front door, and trust me it wasn’t easy. It felt like I was hauling a side of beef. There was no way that I was going to make it the extra distance to your room.”
“And the reason that I am wearing one of your ugly oversized old t-shirts and nothing else?”
The tips of Nino’s ears flushed red. “You sweated through your own clothes and that was the only thing I could find in a hurry to fit over your exaggeratedly broad shoulders.”
“And the lack of underwear?”
“Is my reward for looking after you for the past three days?”
Three days? Jun’s brain had all the thinking power of a bath sponge, so he decided to ignore the bit about the underwear until he could cope with the answer. Even then it took him a few minutes to summon up his next question. “Three days?”
Admittedly it wasn’t a very in-depth question.
“I’ve spent the last three days mopping your fevered brow and helping you to the toilet, and now you tell me that you don't even remember? You owe me big time. Sho spent a lot of time here too. I suggested that he send you an invoice.”
Despite Nino’s taunting, Jun didn’t miss the way Nino’s fingers gripped the cover of the book hard enough for his knuckles to turn white, or the dark rings around his eyes. Vague recollections of cool hands pressed to his brow and reassuring murmurs floated through his mind. It was obvious that Nino hadn’t slept much, and Jun felt a sharp stab of guilt in the general region of his heart. “You were here.”
Nino rolled his eyes and shuffled in his seat. “Pfft, it’s my bedroom after all.”
“You. Were. Here.”
“You. Just. Said. That.”
“I remember now.” Nino’s hand was cool and soft and disappeared entirely inside Jun’s palm as Jun grabbed it, clinging tightly. “You were by my side every time I woke. Every time. Whether it was day or night. You care about me.”
“You are an idiot.” Nino allowed himself to be tugged down onto the bed, sighing as he met its springy softness, but he made sure to keep a respectable distance between himself and Jun. “I more than care about you, but you don’t seem to be able to see it, no matter how hard I try.”
“I…” But they were best friends. What if it all went wrong? Then Jun would be left with no one. He swallowed hard and propped himself up on one elbow as he turned to face Nino, who was staring hopelessly up at the ceiling. Jun tried to see Nino as his friend, rather than as someone who was making his heart flutter. Was he about to have a heart attack?
Crap, Nino was looking at him expectantly. Jun opened his mouth, but nothing came out.
“Well, I guess that’s all the answer I need,” Nino said gruffly. He tried to flounce away, but it is hard to flounce when lying on your back on a soft bed, with your hand being held very tightly. He only managed to rise up slightly before bouncing back down and scowling at Jun.
Jun tried very hard to summon the right words, but it was hard with a brain which was refusing to wake up and cope with the seriousness of the situation, and a tongue which felt like cotton wool. “Wait.”
“You want me to wait?” Nino’s mouth set in a thin line, and his eyes glittered dangerously. “What do you think I’ve been doing for the last five years while you wasted your time with that asshole? Do you have any idea how hard it was to stand by and watch him treat you like crap and not say anything?”
Wow. What? Jun’s fuzzy brain and tangled emotional state made it impossible to figure out what to say. Not that Nino seemed to need a response. It appeared that once he had unleashed his emotions it was impossible for him to stop the words pouring out.
“And then you pick up your phone and try to hook up with some sleazy random, right in front of my face, and expect me to not feel hurt? I honestly don't know why I can't shake these feelings when it's perfectly obvious that you will never see me as anything more than someone who picks up the pieces when someone else breaks your heart. ”
Hang on a minute. Why did Nino get to be the one getting angry, when he was the one sitting on Ohno’s lap gloating over Jun’s date from hell? Jun scrunched his eyebrows together and released Nino’s hand.
“It certainly didn't seem as if you were suffering after you sent me on that date, or having any difficulty in shaking off any of those pesky feelings.”
The frustration on Nino’s face morphed into an expression which Jun couldn't quite read.
“Has your fever returned? Because I have no idea what you're babbling about.”
Jun groped around and finally found his phone on the bedside cabinet. He jabbed at the screen with a trembling finger until he managed to bring up the photograph which proved his point. “If that’s not a gloating expression then I don’t know what is.”
"Eeeh? I have no idea what you're talking about." Nino snatched the phone out of Jun's hand and jumped up from the bed. "Let me see."
Jun flopped tiredly back down and watched Nino closely for signs of guilt.
"This is what you’re talking about?" Nino smiled as he handed the phone back.
Nino's smile pierced Jun's chest like a smug dagger. Too late, Jun finally admitted to himself that Nino was so much more than just a friend. To make matters worse, he was probably also going to lose Ohno as a friend at the same time. "So you admit that you wanted me out of the way so that you could snog Ohno?”
The tiny rational park of Jun’s brain piped up once again. There was a flaw in his shaky logic, and the amused look which Nino was directing at him confirmed it. So what if Nino just basically confessed? It didn't mean that he couldn't be carrying on with Ohno at the same time. In fact that would just be par for the course, if Jun’s last relationship was any indicator. Typical. The room began to spin, mirroring the merry-go-round of thoughts whirling around in his head, and apparently sucking the oxygen out of the room.
Nino’s hands were small, but surprisingly strong as they gripped Jun’s wrists. He sat back down on the bed and gave Jun a stern look with more than a hint of concern swirling in his eyes. “Look at me and breathe.”
Jun realised that's why things were spinning. Apparently he’d forgotten about that whole breathing thing. After taking a few shuddering breaths the room stilled. His lungs were much happier, but his heart was now fluttering again at the feeling of Nino holding his wrists.
“You really are an idiot,” Nino said fondly. “I admit that I was an evil shit and deliberately sent you on that date knowing that it would end in disaster. It was my last ditch effort to show you that I am so much better than everyone else out there. And as for Oh-chan, he asked me out for a drink to celebrate the fact that he sold every piece of work included in his exhibition, and since I anticipated you murdering me, I figured that staying away from the apartment for a couple of hours was the safest option. Plus of course, you know I can't resist anything which is free. And for the record, I didn't sit on his lap. The only lap I want to sit on is yours.”
“I was scared.” Jun closed his eyes to avoid losing himself in Nino warm brown ones. “Once I figured out that I care about you, I was frightened to admit my feelings even to myself. Especially myself, actually. With my track record of failed relationships I didn't want to think about the possibility of not having you in my life when it inevitably went wrong.”
“It’s not going to go wrong this time. This is probably going to sound creepy and stalkerish, but once I have you, I'm never letting go.”
“Definitely stalkerish, but oddly reassuring.” Jun felt a tentative smile hovering around his lips.
"I like you, and you like me, so where do we go from here?" Nino returned the smile and released his grip on Jun's wrists. "I have to warn you that I've been waiting for you to come to your senses for a very long time, so it would be great if we could skip past the 'getting to know' you part and move right along to the 'getting into your pants' part fairly quickly."
Jun was once again rendered speechless. The idea of having sex with Nino was something he hadn't really considered, apart from quite a few dreams of a certain variety which made his cheeks flush at the memory.
Nino noticed and placed the palm of his hand on Jun's forehead. "You’re looking a little hot. I hope your fever isn't coming back. Sho will kill me if it is."
Nino’s palm was cool and Jun closed his eyes and leaned into his touch. "I guess since we already live together, formal dating isn't really necessary, but I will need some time to get used to things."
Jun squeaked as Nino climbed over his body and hovered over him so that their noses were almost touching.
Nino spoke softly and reassuringly. “I would never force you into anything. We can go as slow or as fast as you like. You can dictate the pace. I'm more than happy to continue as we are, but with bonus cuddling and kissing.”
Nino’s lips were temptingly close, and as if triggered by the mention of kissing, Jun found himself reaching his head up and closing the space between their mouths.
After a few seconds he wondered if there was some sort of neighbourhood celebration taking place, because he felt as if he had stumbled into a fireworks display. Nino’s lips were thin but ever so soft and they moulded against his own as if they had been doing this for years.
When they parted Nino had lost his calm and composed demeanor and Jun was pleased to see that he was breathing just as hard as he was.
Nino sat up and his expression turned serious. "Before we go any further, I need to ask you an important question which will affect the course of our relationship. I know it's probably too soon, but I can't help asking."
Jun blinked and swallowed hard. It was far too soon for a proposal of marriage. Wasn't it? He nodded slowly, wondering how to frame his reply.
Nino looked deep into Jun's eyes in a way which made Jun's heart beat faster. "Want to see my dick?
Jun’s shoulders shook with suppressed laughter as he attempted to compose his face into an equally serious expression to match Nino’s. "I thought you'd never ask."
no subject
or is it just Jun ;)
very cute story, I would love to read more about their domestic lives
no subject
Maybe I will write some more of this verse at some stage.
I feel like Sho and Ohno were shortchanged as characters.
Hmm....Christmas drabbles coming up soon...
This year I could base them on previous fics *pats self on back for genius idea*
no subject